Hey.
Other things to consider when visiting a severely debilitated friend or relative in a nursing home.
Play games, read the newspaper or book to your relative, show them pictures or photos on your phone or a laptop. Take them on outings, shopping, lunch or coffee in a local restaurant. Treats such as sweets, flowers, clothing, CDs may be very welcome.
Bring pets to visit. If allowed.Do take other members of the family or friends to visit too, or bring them with you.Young people, small children can relate very well to people with dementia and a visit from a teenager who will play a game on a phone or laptop, or a board game with your relative often goes down well and helps the young people to keep that vital engagement
My latest discovery was how much nursing home residents enjoy large magnifying glasses! I found six-inch ones on sale for ninety-nine cents and brought a dozen in to one of the nursing homes I visit. INSTANT HIT!
An aide will become something like a "member of the family" and this always results in a somewhat delicate supervisory relationship. Especially when the aides do not consider you a "doctor". As an example, many elderly people will suffer ocassional blackouts on the toilet when constipated. This is solved with good attention to keeping the bowels soft, but it sometimes happens. It means that a well-padded carpet must surround the portable toilet and an aide must remain with the patient throughout the process. If the patient faints the drill is to lie them down immediately, with the feet elevated six-to-ten inches and to make sure they have a good airway. And hold their hand and provide reassurance. This is one of the reasons one of my "rules of the road" was "use the toilet BEFORE breakfast and ensure they are well-hydrated. In any event, if you know what happened this is not necessarily a 911 call. Dragging a 100 year old woman to the hospital when this happens is not appropriate. Recovery will take place naturally. The drill is to avoid straining.. But the care services, to cover their legal buts will always call 911 if the patient faints, and if you are not there, there will be an unnecessary ambulance trip, an inappropriate intravenous line (paramedic protocol), and a waste of time, money, and a frightening episode for the little one.
I would recommend joining the American Geriatric Association, that has a membership fee, but lots of material available to the caregiver/supervisor. One of the biggest problems if the "chain-of-command". People only work well for one master and the universal practice of the commercial services is to have the aides report to a nurse, or worse yet to a nurse who reports to a "care coordinator". The "care coordinator" nonsense is new, and they will soon have to be licensed! A sinecure for social workers. And in New York, it will be the care coordinator who will be responsible for selecting and hiring the aides. There are many senior centers who have once-a-day home-delivered meals at a very modest rate (In New York $1.50 a day) that include a five-minute daily visit. A lot depends upon the type of disability of the elder person. My experience has been with the stroke-disabled super-elderly, those with difficulty swallowing, as well as those with pegs, which, contrary to popular belief are not necessarily painful nor do they mean a person cannot eat some meals (soft and special;ly prepared) normally.
I just wanted to thank you for alllllllll the effort you put into sharing your expertise/experience with those of us in the 'realm of care-giving', to whatever extent that might be. I will be reading up on this site, extensively, as I'm at a crossroads with my step-father. I am looking for the appropriate place to post my experience with in home care-giving, as well as the toll that it's taken on me and my mother.
Reading a list like this is just a very helpful reminder. I've learned most of this by just dealing with him first hand.
Thanks again
(22) Bring a quality cosmetic bar or hand soap and a plastic dish to keep ther bar between use. Glycerine, olive oil..etc. The nursing homes usually use a soap dispenser these days.
(23) Purchase a quality cushion for the patient's wheelchair and write the patient's name on it with magic marker. Most nursing homes only provide a thin cushion upon which to soften the seat.
(24) Obtain a colorful velco snap-on bag for the patient's wheelchair to transport accessories. Write their name on it in magic marker.
(25) If you go to an art supply store purchase a box of HB pencils or number 2. HB are better for drawing and shading. Plus a soft eraser. Get an art sharpener, which differs from a regular sharpener in that it only shaves the wood off and the artist sharpens the point with a piece of sandpaper or a little booklet with tiny sandpaper strips. As an alternative you can use sandpaper boards used to file fingernails. Get an inexpensive plastic box to hold art supplies. A selection of colored pens from a store such as staples are also nice. Everything should fit in the small box, which can go in the drawer next to the bed.
(26) A box of pastel envelopes with colorful commemorative stamps from the post office. Let the patient stick them on. The post office has a wonderful selection of colored stamps if you ask. Plus a pad of lined stationary from an art store.
Other things to bring:
(21) A box of 64 Crayola crayons and a stiff spiral-bound drawing book with three to five-ply bristol board (stiff). Not too big a book. Available at art stores. Writing paper size or slightly larger. It has to fit in the drawer next to the nursing room bed. In addition (or alternatively) a bound book (at least letter writing size) with blank paper and a colorful cover. These are available at art stores and some bookstores. Some stick-on stuff from Staples (butterflies, animals, etc.) available for children for them to put on the cover. Let them select and put them on.