no finger in mommy's nose!!

[lunaloki]

hello, i am new to this forum, greetings.  i have an odd problem with my 20 month old baby boy...he won't stop putting his finger in  my nose.  it is mostly when he's sleepy and wants a cuddle, and sometimes just for no apparent reason when he's in my arms. we have plently of cuddle time, both with me, or with his daddy.  he is definitely not lacking there. sometimes he plays with the tip of the nose, sometimes he just latches his finger into the edge of the nostril, and sometimes he sticks it all the way up (ow!!!). he does this to his daddy too.  he started doing this around the time that we stopped breastfeeding, at about 7 1/2 months old, and we have tried everything to discourage it for over a year now.  i've tried just gently moving his hand away, i've tried being firm and holding his hand down, i've tried sweetly explaining, i've tried mommy is angry, i've tried firmly explaining, i've tried "throwing" his hand away from my face, i've tried giving him something else to do (ie, hold mommy's hand, touch mommy's cheek, face, hair...), i've tried simply putting him down explaining 'no you can't sit in my lap if you put your finger in my nose'...sigh.... i've tried giving him stuffed animals to cuddle, even one with nostrils to put his finger in!!... the thing is, i know he "gets" it, when he wants to, and i say "jack, where is your finger? no nose!" sometimes you can see the little wheels turning in his mind, he will listen, and take his hand away voluntarily....

he is otherwise a very good child, we have no complaints or problems, he listens and responds, i'm a stay home mom, his dad is very present and attentive too, and he has activities and play dates with other children, with and without me...

has anyone else encountered this???  our pediatrician said that babies like to touch mommy and daddy's faces, though he never saw the nose thing! his method is always to calmly explain things to the child, which we do!

my nose is sore :(

[nyychic]

I wouldn't ignore a child that young for 20 minutes.  That is an eternity for a less than 2 year old time outs are only 2 minutes long at this point.  I had a child that did this (actually 2 of them)  I simply would return the favor (gently of course) to one child, who hated to have their noses cleaned out!!  The other one I simply would remove her hand the first time the second time I would turn her around in my lap the third she would be put down and if she tried again time out.  I know it's alot of chances but at that age I gave a little more than an older child.

[888mom]

My daughter still does this to me!  But not as often.  I tell her she isn't supposed to pick her own nose, at 26 months, and she can't pick mine either.  She thinks it's funny at this point when I say no about that.  I usually just cover my nose when she can't get it out of her head to keep her hand off my nose.  The other thing she likes doing is playing with individual strands of my hair which normally doesn't bother me unless she pulls it forgetting the rule about no pulling.  And she likes to put her hand in my mouth and examine my teeth and mouth.  I think it's all part of exploring.  She also likes to pull my glasses off my face.  Lately with the mouth, I say the alphabet while she puts her fingers on my lips or sometimes inside my mouth.  She is really into trying to figure out how to say words, and how the tongue moves to say them.  

So, just try to keep saying no, and remove your nose from them or hide it behind your hand.  If they really go out of their way to stick their finger up your nose after you've said no and tried to get your nose out of reach and they keep doing it, I find a good slap to the hand is the only way to get my daughter to get it.  I didnt' start slapping her hand until she turned 2.  She's not very verbal (language delay), but she does understand no (especially when I use sign language with saying the word no loudly) and understands when I slap her hand it means stop doing what she's doing and she gets it. I don't slap it hard, just enough so she gets that I'm not happy about it.  I am not in to spanking, so hand slapping is my way of disciplining her if I need her to stop something immediately, and since the nose sticking up is something she does with her hand, slapping it seems to really get the point across to stop.  Otherwise I use timeouts, but not sure if timeouts would work with sticking the fingers up the nose.  

The nose thing reminds me of what my friend used to say in elementary school... "you can pick your nose and you can pick your friends.  But you can't pick your friend's nose."

[Bunnielove1982]

The word discipline means to teach. You're teaching your daughter slapping is okay. I don't condone abuse, and this is exactly what this is.

[lunaloki]

thanks everyone for your comments, it's reassuring to know that other children do this too!

[24me]

Do as RockRose suggests. One way or the highway. Make it your way not his. He is so young, he'll learn fast enough what he will be able to get away. If you carry on with 10 different nice guy approaches-what does that show him?  They test and test and test, mostly for fun. Of course he knows what he's doing at this point, he's waiting to see how you respond each time. But if it's the same response every time he'll eventually get bored and quit it.

[RockRose]

luna,  when he does that,  put him down IMMEDIATELY,  and say don't put your finger in my nose.  Then ignore him completely for 20 minutes.  

Don't make a big fuss about it,  just put him down and ignore him.  

I saw in your post that you kind of tried this,  but don't try it.  Do it until he stops this  behavior.  And don't go on and on about why you put him down,  just one statement.  "Don't put your finger in my nose".  Period.  

He'll stop.