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12 year old boy smearing poop
My 12 year old son, has been (not very well) trying to hide smeared poop on our furniture...I guess wherever he is sitting at the time he is touching it. I can 't get an answer from him, of whether it is just from not wiping well or not. It seems to be more than just a bad wiping job. My son definitely has some defiant issues with authority. He tests every boundary that there is. We had to throw away an entire set of furniture because of this. HE said he would stop and after he was apologetic, I let it go. Guess what my other children found on the new couch?? He is a social and functioning in every other realm, completely, "normal" ---I don't like using that phrase. He does however feel self conscious right now about some tummy weight he has gained lately....He is definitely going through puberty. I asked him some questions to understand if it was an arousal issue with the touching or not? In my heart I feel like it may be a curiousness about his body changing. We talk about it in our family though, so it isn't like he is figuring everything out for himself by any means. He also has an older brother to talk to. I don't want to make a bigger deal of it than it is, but I don't want to stick my head in the sand either.... Please guide me in a direction?
This discussion is related to 13 year old's abnormal behavior.
This discussion is related to 13 year old's abnormal behavior.
My son was potty trained at three for about three months and then he started holding and smearing. He is now 12.
What we have done is taken him to a great child therapist that works with kids who have encopresis. We also worked with his pediatrician. We started out with medication (Miralax) which did help with his stools. He did, however, revolt against the Miralax and we have tried several different medicines and have now landed on using Mineral Oil.
What we had to do to begin with is "clean him out". We gave him large doses of the medication (over a weekend) so that he would poop a whole lot. We then started him on the regular dose as prescribed by his doctor. We did not do any of this on our own.
As far as the wiping, I would clean up the marks. I did not try to embarrass him. I would ask him suggestions on how to keep the poop off the walls, closet walls, bed frames, etc. He stopped the wiping on his own. I also really look at his fingers. If there is poop around the nail, I make him wash his hands. I don't really discuss the poop, I simply tell him to wash his hands.
The therapist was quite a help with our son, as well. I highly recommend finding a therapist that works with encopresis. The problem is, there is a divide in psychological field about encopresis. Some therapists don't believe in it. Some do. That is why you need to ask. Also, if you don't like a therapist (or your child doesn't like them), you do not need to return.
With the medication, it really has helped. Our laundry is back to no special handwashing or poopy loads (followed by an empty bleach load). Since he is 12, we were giving him a little freedom with his medication, however, the laundry situation started to change and then we had to start over from the beginning (lots of meds, then regular dosage).
I have been dealing with this a long time. I know how frustrating it can be. My son is not ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), he deals with encopresis.
When we do smell it on him, we immediately ask him if he has had an accident. If he says no, we ask him to check himself and explain we can smell him. If he has had an accident, we ask him to take a shower. We have "accident" specific washcloths that are stained but clean.
I am not a physician, I am not a therapist, I am a parent. I am frustrated some days, angry some days, but loving everyday. Please consult your child's physician and see what they can do to help. They may be able to suggest a therapist too. Good luck and you aren't alone.
What we have done is taken him to a great child therapist that works with kids who have encopresis. We also worked with his pediatrician. We started out with medication (Miralax) which did help with his stools. He did, however, revolt against the Miralax and we have tried several different medicines and have now landed on using Mineral Oil.
What we had to do to begin with is "clean him out". We gave him large doses of the medication (over a weekend) so that he would poop a whole lot. We then started him on the regular dose as prescribed by his doctor. We did not do any of this on our own.
As far as the wiping, I would clean up the marks. I did not try to embarrass him. I would ask him suggestions on how to keep the poop off the walls, closet walls, bed frames, etc. He stopped the wiping on his own. I also really look at his fingers. If there is poop around the nail, I make him wash his hands. I don't really discuss the poop, I simply tell him to wash his hands.
The therapist was quite a help with our son, as well. I highly recommend finding a therapist that works with encopresis. The problem is, there is a divide in psychological field about encopresis. Some therapists don't believe in it. Some do. That is why you need to ask. Also, if you don't like a therapist (or your child doesn't like them), you do not need to return.
With the medication, it really has helped. Our laundry is back to no special handwashing or poopy loads (followed by an empty bleach load). Since he is 12, we were giving him a little freedom with his medication, however, the laundry situation started to change and then we had to start over from the beginning (lots of meds, then regular dosage).
I have been dealing with this a long time. I know how frustrating it can be. My son is not ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), he deals with encopresis.
When we do smell it on him, we immediately ask him if he has had an accident. If he says no, we ask him to check himself and explain we can smell him. If he has had an accident, we ask him to take a shower. We have "accident" specific washcloths that are stained but clean.
I am not a physician, I am not a therapist, I am a parent. I am frustrated some days, angry some days, but loving everyday. Please consult your child's physician and see what they can do to help. They may be able to suggest a therapist too. Good luck and you aren't alone.
1 Comments
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-conduct-disorder#1
Sweetheart, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I am a student of psychology. I don't know a whole lot, BUT. . . I did this same thing when I was 13 years old. My mother was in tears. She didn't know what to do. Now this is what happened to me. ABUSE. Bullying at school, adults didn't have time for me and I wasn't in their world, I had severe emotional scaring. Then there were adults who I'd been around who were emotionally disturbed as well. They were physically and verbally abusive as well. I wasn't that strong. I had to learn how to be strong did not have one single friend for a period of time and I became seriously defiant. I was so DEPRESSED. I attempted suicide maybe three times. Do listen to anyone who is not educated. Go straight to a doctor immediately. However, love conquers all. Be very strong about loving and forgiveness. Communication. Please DONT try not to continually lock him away. But at the same time you do not want to sit on that. It could be a left field severe warning sign about something else.
My 9yr old startes doing this a month ago. He has been on meds for 2 1/2 years for ADHD. but this is new. He is a smart kid thats get bullies but its summer break. I dont know what to.
My 10 year old step son is pooping in his clothes or towels and hiding them around the house. He also urinates in empty water bottles and puts them behind his bed so we can't see them. I know he was sexually abused since his mom lived in a prostitution/drug house. We have had complete custody of him for the last 2 1/2 years. It's really gotten bad now that his mother doesn't want visitation with him at all since it disrupts her partying. I have given him a wonderful home and since I couldn't have children, he is my baby. I've spoiled him rotten (which I have been told I don't give him consequences for this behavior) but he is such a good boy "normally". I have taken him for therapy and the hospital for evaluation. They just say that he has separation disorder from his mom. That doesn't help me. Looking for new therapist all the time. Really frustrating, but usually I just clean up and don't same anything. Now I've taken his allowance away so he can start saving it to buy his own clothes. Tired of spending money of shirts to be used as toilet paper. Not just whipping but doing all his business in tee shirts and wrapping them up. Such a nice surprise to find my presents around the house. Guess I should be aware that smearing could be next. Sad step mom.
hey i just read what u said about your problem
i have the same thing with my step son he is 14 and doing the same thing keep sh**** all over the place in his room...the bathroom...then he hides it in his room under the bed...in his pillow case....and even if places u wouldnt think of....its really bad...i cant stand it....its driving me nuts...no matter what u do...what u say they will keep doing it....they want u to go mad at them....just so they get one to one with you...we have even said if he stops it....we will treat him to something he wants....or if he wanted to go out for dinner.....go bolwing and still does it.....the house stinks of poo...cant have anyone round....i cant even let me 2 year old nephew in his room.....its that bad he plays with it...and makes things out of his own poo.....so beating the sh** out of him wont do nothing to him...we have done that...made him clean it up...and he doesnt even care...he will just say ok....he goes to the bathroom,....has a wee or a poo...and dont wash his hands we have even gone in the bathroom with him to make sure he does it...and still he dont care....so killing yourself wont help.......just take one day at a time....dont make so a big deal when he does it....cus thats what they wont...to see u pi**** off
i have the same thing with my step son he is 14 and doing the same thing keep sh**** all over the place in his room...the bathroom...then he hides it in his room under the bed...in his pillow case....and even if places u wouldnt think of....its really bad...i cant stand it....its driving me nuts...no matter what u do...what u say they will keep doing it....they want u to go mad at them....just so they get one to one with you...we have even said if he stops it....we will treat him to something he wants....or if he wanted to go out for dinner.....go bolwing and still does it.....the house stinks of poo...cant have anyone round....i cant even let me 2 year old nephew in his room.....its that bad he plays with it...and makes things out of his own poo.....so beating the sh** out of him wont do nothing to him...we have done that...made him clean it up...and he doesnt even care...he will just say ok....he goes to the bathroom,....has a wee or a poo...and dont wash his hands we have even gone in the bathroom with him to make sure he does it...and still he dont care....so killing yourself wont help.......just take one day at a time....dont make so a big deal when he does it....cus thats what they wont...to see u pi**** off
1 Comments
Hi. You are in major denial, most Mothers are. Your child and other woman' kids who are posting on here.
It is not a.d.d/a.d.h.d .
SEXUAL ABUSE. :(
My heart is BREAKING for your kids AND for you who actually care.
NANNY CAM THE HOUSE AND HIS ROOM. NEVER EVER LEAVE YOUR KID or KIDS with the neighbor, an Uncle, a cousin , Older kids , etc You know what I'm getting at.
They are acting out and distraught in a million ways in their poor little scared heads lashing out towards molestation /sexual abuse!!! Dont make this all about you! SAVE YOUR POOR KIDS!
Good luck to all the Mom's and Dad's out there and the kids !
It is not a.d.d/a.d.h.d .
SEXUAL ABUSE. :(
My heart is BREAKING for your kids AND for you who actually care.
NANNY CAM THE HOUSE AND HIS ROOM. NEVER EVER LEAVE YOUR KID or KIDS with the neighbor, an Uncle, a cousin , Older kids , etc You know what I'm getting at.
They are acting out and distraught in a million ways in their poor little scared heads lashing out towards molestation /sexual abuse!!! Dont make this all about you! SAVE YOUR POOR KIDS!
Good luck to all the Mom's and Dad's out there and the kids !
You are dealing with a lot. Deep breath. It is difficult to give advice. I don't know you, your son, or your family. But at 15, fecal smearing is an alarming symptom. Please get him psychological testing. Fecal smearing is just a symptom. You may not need a specialist. It's the underlying potential psychological factors that would need to be addressed. I hear how overwhelmed you are. Is there anyone else who could help? I have huge concerns about turning him over to his father because you said he was upset you didn't beat the"daylights" out if him. (! ) Your son needs help, not punishment. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
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