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2-year-old masterbating
Hi,
I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating. This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.
Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.
As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.
I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.
Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).
What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating. This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.
Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.
As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.
I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.
Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).
What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
It's quite humorous that you feel that way, and that you would blame a completely normal human behavior with that of "ADD", "bipolar disorder", or "autism". It is completely ignorant for you to say that. I can remember masterbating from the time I was around 4-5. And it wasn't just every once in a while, it was a constant multiple times a day thing. No one EVER touched me in any kind of way, I had no idea what sex was, and I DEFINITELY do not have any of the disorders you speak of. My mother was understanding and explained to me that it was completely normal and to only do that in my room. I am now 20 years old and have never had any problems with my health, sexuality, relationships, or what have you. Humans are sexual beings. It is unfortunate that people like you try to write that off as being sick with an illness like "ADD". That's just crazy to me. This mother should not be so concerned with this. The child will eventually grow out of it and she will eventually understand more of what she is doing and why it is wrong to do in public. She's NOT sick just because she masterbates.
Whatever your opinions are about masturbation, the point is, you need to teach her that if she is going to do this, she needs to do it in private. That's the main thing. We are all sexual creatures, even when we are unassuming children (not suggesting adults should take advantage of this, saying that all humans have sexuality, and often discover this, and the ability to give yourself pleasure, very young).
And FYI to everyone, you don't need to be molested to start masturbating. Intelligent creatures learn to do what makes them feel good.
The logic some have used about masturbation's relation to sexual abuse is like saying watching porn makes you a serial killer. We should have a lot more serial killers. Just because one thing can lead to another, it doesn't always.
You could try punishing her, but that will only work if you explain 'why' her behaviour is inappropriate. I used to masturbate all the time, I can't remember if my parents told me to do this in private but I know I eventually did. The key thing is not to make her feel ashamed for doing something MANY people do. All you need to do is tell her to do this in private and consistently tell her to do so when she starts masturbating in public.
And FYI to everyone, you don't need to be molested to start masturbating. Intelligent creatures learn to do what makes them feel good.
The logic some have used about masturbation's relation to sexual abuse is like saying watching porn makes you a serial killer. We should have a lot more serial killers. Just because one thing can lead to another, it doesn't always.
You could try punishing her, but that will only work if you explain 'why' her behaviour is inappropriate. I used to masturbate all the time, I can't remember if my parents told me to do this in private but I know I eventually did. The key thing is not to make her feel ashamed for doing something MANY people do. All you need to do is tell her to do this in private and consistently tell her to do so when she starts masturbating in public.
Can someone help me out ??? My daughter is now 2 years old... and since she was about a year and a half.... if shes in her buggy car seat anything enclosed she rotates her legs super fast like shes humping ? and zones out face gets all red and hot sometimes even grinds her teeth :S its just embarrassing because people stare ? and i wanna make sure shes ok like what is she doing :S even if shes held close to my body she will do it ....zones out and blocks everything out and just rotates her legs and clinches her fist onto something super tight :(
I am a in my late teens and I was that kid that did it and when I was punished I felt bad and now like someone else said I fell guilty about sex because someone made me feel really bad about myself. But now I have been an straight a student since 7 th grade and played and instrument to the extent I could. Without any one telling me "do this, do that" I did it on my own and when I got older than 2 self control became one of my strengths but I still feel very bad about sex. so just encourage her to stop in public and do it in private.
I am that kid that did that when I was that same age I am now in my teens but I remember what started it. It was the car seat but then when I also got punished I did it when I thought no one was looking and started holding my breath and so no one would hear me. But I stopped around 4 doing it constantly. Now I do it in private about 2 times a month or so. And now I got curious to see if it was normal for a girl and I found this that sounds so much like me. Plus I think it helps a girl from becoming sexually active early.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_masturbation-why-it-happens-and-what-to-do-about-it_63674.bc
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