2-year-old masterbating

[Susie N]

Hi,

I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating.  This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.

Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.

As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.

I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.

Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).

What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!

[concerned123_23]

My two year old recently started doing this. I freaked out and was about to dial 911 because I though she was having a seizure lying on the floor except she was responsive. She would become very angry when I tried to pick her up. I called her pediatrition who is out on maternity leave and couldnt get her in. I am very relieved to have done some research and am realizing this is much more common than I could have imagined at this age. I just dont want anyone poking at her or probing her for no reason. I have done lots of research in the past week and the test cases that I have seen that have been done on these kids is not what I want to put her through if this is at all normal behavior. My question is when do you consider it an obsessive behavior. Or when do you know if this something eles. I too know my child has not been abused in anyway and my mother watches her during the day so she is not out of our care at any time. It is embarrasing and I dont know how to explain to guests or church day care without them looking at her different or thinking there something wrong with her. It would need to be explained to anyone watching my child or they could possibly dial 911 thinking she is having a seizure.

[lonnamaria06]

I have read a lot on this subject also. How many times have you seen 1 or 2 or 3 year olds in any other household doing this? Not many, I would imagine. This behavior is obsessive and NOT normal. Some mastubation is of course norman, but not to this extent. She is showing signs of other syndroms, possibly Asperger's, Bi-Polar, Autism, ADD. Check out all these things before you just chalk it up as normal. This is rare, not common. And those people who say it is, are not paying much attention to children or have not been around them much. Make sure she is ok in these areas first. If she checks out ok, then good! Then I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure.

[margypops]

I agree with Lonnamaria this is not normal in a child of that age ,go and see your Doctor and ask him first,and it is one of the signs someone has been doing it to them, It has become a habit, dont punish her though its never the childs fault remember, be more osservant and check out how she beahves with other people even Family around, you could get a clue.

[suzie33]

This is a comment to "concerned123_23". My husband and I have noticed it on our child too. We caught her doing it when she was about 1.5 years old. It all started when she got her first basketball. She would lay on it, squeeze her legs and lift her hips up and down. She would break out is so much sweat. We ignored it at first but then we have noticed that she started doing so much of it and for long period of time. So we finally took the ball away from her and she stopped. Then couple months later she started again. We have noticed that whenever she was bored she would do it. So she would lay down on the floor, put her hands between her legs and lift her hips up then down. Again she would break into sweat. We were  embarrassed, confused and didn't know what to do. We tried researching it online but couldn't find anything. It didn't look like she was hurting and every time we tried to stop her she would get mad.  Than the behavior stopped again. She is 2 years old now and the  behavior is back. This time she would do it anywhere. In the car seat while I'm driving, she would try to squeeze her legs and point her toes up, break out in so much sweat, when we are home she would do the same thing on the couch. I just don't know what else to do. My husband is scared that it may be something wrong. My mom says she is probably doing it because it feels good and comfortable. Then I came across this website and found out that she is not the only one with this behavior. Reading some of the posts above I do want to make it clear to all of you that ever since my daughter was born and up to now I was the only one watching her. There has NEVER EVER been any abuse of any kind, my daughter has been with me all the time, she has had her own bedroom since she was born so she NEVER EVER saw my husband and I making love, I wanted to make that clear too. My husband and I decided to take her in and have a EEG done just to make sure that she is not experiencing any seizures. Doctor suggested a MRI, but I'm scared of doing that because she has to be heavily sedated because of her age in order to do a MRI.  If anyone has taken their child in for this and have any tests done, please let me know what was the outcome of it. I hope it's  just a normal behavior and nothing serious.

[Nic306]

To think anything is wrong with this child is rediculous.  I am a mother, an aunt, and also a teacher and this is not shocking behavior at all.  While working in a daycare center I would see girls (I have never seen boys do this) during nap time masturbating.  I think it is more common in girls because all they need to do is rub that area accidentally and they discover the possibilities.  My niece always did it when she was tired.  When she was very young, like 2-3, we would just try to distract her from what she was doing if it was in an inappropriate place.  Once she was 4 we explained to her that it is ok to touch her own body but that it is not ok to do it in front of people, it should be done in private.  As far as we know, she is now 6, the behavior has stopped.  Don't worry.  It won't last forever.

[g8r grl]

I agree with Nic306! For everyone on here who thinks your daughter must have been molested, they need to take a simple course in child psychology or even google it before they post such ridiculous remarks. I even saw someone say it's interesting that you're assuming your daughter will be heterosexual?! Who assumes their child will be homosexual?! I have nothing against people who are gay, but heterosexual people automatically assume that their child will be the same...especially at two years old. Do homosexual people assume that their children will also be gay?

Now, I have a 2-year-old son who is not displaying any of this behavior at this point in time, so I don't have any experience in what exactly I would do in your position. I agree with the others who say it's best to try to distract her...however, that might be difficult to do. What does she do if you pull her out of her highchair while this is going on? Does she cry and get upset, or is she OK?

You can't reason with a 2-year-old, so giving her consequences is not going to work at this point. My vote is for trying to distract her. You're doing the right thing by not scolding her for it. I thought your original post was great as you seem to be taking the right approach to the situation. Good job and good luck! :)