2.5yo hoarding/stealing

[bouncingbabyboys]

I have a 32mo foster son, he has been with us for 16mo.  When he came to us he was severely neglected.  He had never eaten food, had only had food from a feeder bottle.  Immediately behaviors of hoarding began.  He would pack his arms full of toys and just sit there.  Then he would stuff his mouth with food, eat until he would throw up, eat from the trash can, sneak food, etc.  He was involved with early childhood for speech and they watched these issues.  They lightened up and then I had to beg him to eat, but he would still hoard the food.  Still hoarding toys.  Now he is sneaking and hording and coming up with stealing!  I have to pat him down before we leave Walmart to be sure he didn't stuff anything into his pockets.  He will leave his room at night, come into mine, take my slippers, book light, whatever he can find, back to his room and play with them where he thinks I can't see him.  
The other day, he said, "Eat mom?"  I wass so happy that he relayed this need to me verbally that I gave him a snack bag of pretzles and a sippy cup of milk, praising him for using his words.  He stuffed them into a ride on toy when I left the room.  I then took them away and said, "we eat at the table", he threw a fit crying, so I just put them both up.  I don't know if this response (which I normally use) is helping or making it worse!  He will hold 8 trains in his arms so no other kids can use them, I tell him, "2", and show him one for each hand.  He waits until I'm gone, stuffs them all into his arms again, then when I see him a nd correct him he throws a fit crying again.
They released him from his program because developmentally he caught up.  In the beginning he was developmentally 1/2 his age.  
We have 6 kids under 8...this is NOT normal toddler non-sharing behavior.  I truly believe he is intentionally being sneaky about it all.  what do i do??

[stepmommy14]

6 yr old she had shown strange unusually sexual behaviors. She steals from church when with grandparents, stole out of her moms purse money and a gift card, key chain from the store, stuff from the teacher at school.  Nothing from our home yet... (father and stepmoms home) the sexual behavior is presented to me the stepmom.  The mother does not let her bath herself, she sleeps in the nude with the child.  Mother has 2 men living in home... and mom appears to be on some form of meds or drugs at times. We talked to police and child services. no help... Have seen counselors and told them all of the above and they do not seem concerned I am confused... We don't know if she has been messed with or does she have mental illness?  

[ginny627]

I have a 24 year old doing this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!!!!

[bouncingbabyboys]

Thanks lylli, I have asked our agency for a referral to the mental health clinic for further evaluation.  It's only been a month since he was exited from early childhood services, but I planned to have him retested by the district at 3 (in Feb).  I hope the psychologist can help us sort this out!  He's so sweet, but I picture him in 10-12 years and the issues he may have. I want to help him as early as possible!  :)

[lylli]

in my opinion (which amounts for nada in the real world) this sounds more like an involuntary behavior issue resulting from the abuse he received as an infant.  It is very typical for a child that was neglected (especially one that was not being allowed to eat food) to react in a hoarding manner.  It's security.  I don't want to eat or play but now I KNOW I can when I want to is how it plays out on a subconcious (pardon spelling) level.  He may not qualify for services at the moment from the school perspective but that changes.  He may again be delayed compared to "typical" children his age.  Delays often reappear to varying degrees.  I would strongly recommend psycological help for your foster child.  It really does sound as though it is an involuntary reaction to what he went through.  I would also suggest that you have him re-evaluated by the school for services if it has been more than 6months since they discontinued services.  If you take him to a child psycologist and he is given a diagnosis there are many resources available to help him and in that case (in most states) it still entitles him to services from the school because of his disability.