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6 Year Old Boy Behavior Issues- Tantrums, Sexual Acts, ADHD etc
I really need some advice. I recently took my six year old son to the doctor because I am concerned about ADHD (its on hi fathers side) and ODD to go along with it. He was all the ADHD symptoms, and has violent,angry outbursts that match all ODD symptoms. After meeting with doctor and telling him all the things my son is doing he said yes definitely lets have him tested. Im still waiting on an appointment with a child psychologist so nothing has happened on that end yet.
The problem is my son seems to be on a huge downward spiral day after day. It started with him hitting children, to clothes chewing, to acting out in class by jumping around, running, yelling inside, throwing objects, picking things up off the floor with his mouth, playing around in the bathroom and generally acting like an unruly heathen,
Today he was involved in an incident with another six year old boy on the bus. This child lives four houses down, rides the same bus, and is in the same classroom as my son. They apparently were kissing each other. He told the bus driver this. He also said the bus driver told him to keep his pants up. So I asked why were your pants down, and he very obviously lied and said they just fell down. Finally i got the truth out of him. He then told me that the other boy was also "kissing his nuts".
WHAT? I couldnt believe what I had just heard.
He kissed the little boy on the lips (he said nothing more), but then told me it was his idea to have the little boy do the other thing to him.
I understand children are curious. I also understand that when parents show affection towards each other and their children as my fiance and I do, that young children take that as the way to show everyone they like that they like them. I would explain away the kiss as that. Its the other part that has me VERY concerned.
He has never seen that kind of behavior at my house. He doesnt watch stuff like that on television, nor has he seen it ever in my home. My mother is of no help. Shes in her 50's and a devout Baptist. She thinks he should be punished for his behavior. Im not sure what punishment is warranted for something like that in the first place. What do I do? Lock him in a room till hes grown?? Ive already spoken to him about how its not approptiate to kiss boys OR girls like that when youre his age, and how its NEVER appropriate for ANYONE to ever come near his private parts like that. I said thats stuff for adults to worryabout and not children.
Can you PLEASE help me understand what's going on? Im so ashamed (I dont know why!!), embarrassed, confused, concerned, worried, that its making me sick.
He has mentioned something about someone in his classroom watching him use the bathroom while at school, like peeking in on him. I just wonder if this behavior has happened elsewhere, and how often.
The problem is my son seems to be on a huge downward spiral day after day. It started with him hitting children, to clothes chewing, to acting out in class by jumping around, running, yelling inside, throwing objects, picking things up off the floor with his mouth, playing around in the bathroom and generally acting like an unruly heathen,
Today he was involved in an incident with another six year old boy on the bus. This child lives four houses down, rides the same bus, and is in the same classroom as my son. They apparently were kissing each other. He told the bus driver this. He also said the bus driver told him to keep his pants up. So I asked why were your pants down, and he very obviously lied and said they just fell down. Finally i got the truth out of him. He then told me that the other boy was also "kissing his nuts".
WHAT? I couldnt believe what I had just heard.
He kissed the little boy on the lips (he said nothing more), but then told me it was his idea to have the little boy do the other thing to him.
I understand children are curious. I also understand that when parents show affection towards each other and their children as my fiance and I do, that young children take that as the way to show everyone they like that they like them. I would explain away the kiss as that. Its the other part that has me VERY concerned.
He has never seen that kind of behavior at my house. He doesnt watch stuff like that on television, nor has he seen it ever in my home. My mother is of no help. Shes in her 50's and a devout Baptist. She thinks he should be punished for his behavior. Im not sure what punishment is warranted for something like that in the first place. What do I do? Lock him in a room till hes grown?? Ive already spoken to him about how its not approptiate to kiss boys OR girls like that when youre his age, and how its NEVER appropriate for ANYONE to ever come near his private parts like that. I said thats stuff for adults to worryabout and not children.
Can you PLEASE help me understand what's going on? Im so ashamed (I dont know why!!), embarrassed, confused, concerned, worried, that its making me sick.
He has mentioned something about someone in his classroom watching him use the bathroom while at school, like peeking in on him. I just wonder if this behavior has happened elsewhere, and how often.
our doctor gave me this because i have i have a daughter with adhd, o.d.d,bi-polar. i know how you feel all you can do is explain that it is not right to touch someone elses bathing suit area,that he can touch his the other boy touches his own...my daughter and some of the kids at school looked at eachothers privates it's not uncommon. the older generation use to dissaplin for suh stuff line a strap accross your butt,but those days are gone now they use to make thir kids ashamed to look or touch thier own bodies i for one will not do that to mine.i will just give my advise and love her and pray she chooses the right path...i hope i have helped.these doctors have more info.
wait... in your original post, you said "He kissed the little boy on the lips (he said nothing more), but then told me it was HIS idea to have the little boy do the other thing to him."
So, your son is the one who asked the other boy to kiss his privates?
So, your son is the one who asked the other boy to kiss his privates?
Thank you rilbrianne because I was about to say the same thing.
My son 6 yrs old and has adhd and the only problem we've had in the sexual area is a classmate hunching on him, but he told his teacher because we've taught him it was wrong. He has a father (my husband) who is very active in teaching him what a young man should and should not do. My husband began teaching him at the age of 4 to shake the hands of those who are not his mommy, daddy, or a grandparent. This is because he's extremely affectionate and would go up to strangers and hug them. With a child with ADHD, training is a little more extreme than a so called normal child (whatever that really is). We reward for the good and dicipline for the bad. The technique depends on wrong deed. Spanking has a limit and really is less effective than taking things away from the child that he/she really charish. I was brought up the other way, therefore, when I would read this, I was "Yea right. You know that **** don't work" but I was wrong. We don't sing instructions to our son like teachers do. We are very direct in what we expect, therefore, there is no problems at home or church or in public, but when he gets to school, he test his limits by telling the teacher, "No, it's not fair." And refusing to do his work for a few minutes. He's extremely smart. He makes 100's on everyone of his spelling test (1st grader). So, it's not a bad thing to have a child with adhd. Get him evaluated. Study and learn as much as you can on it. Pray to God for help and most of all patience. And everything will be alright. A lot of people are against medication, but my son takes Adderall and there's been no problems what so ever and it's been about 1 1/2 years. He suffers from no side effects. Praise God!!!! Send me a message any time!
My son 6 yrs old and has adhd and the only problem we've had in the sexual area is a classmate hunching on him, but he told his teacher because we've taught him it was wrong. He has a father (my husband) who is very active in teaching him what a young man should and should not do. My husband began teaching him at the age of 4 to shake the hands of those who are not his mommy, daddy, or a grandparent. This is because he's extremely affectionate and would go up to strangers and hug them. With a child with ADHD, training is a little more extreme than a so called normal child (whatever that really is). We reward for the good and dicipline for the bad. The technique depends on wrong deed. Spanking has a limit and really is less effective than taking things away from the child that he/she really charish. I was brought up the other way, therefore, when I would read this, I was "Yea right. You know that **** don't work" but I was wrong. We don't sing instructions to our son like teachers do. We are very direct in what we expect, therefore, there is no problems at home or church or in public, but when he gets to school, he test his limits by telling the teacher, "No, it's not fair." And refusing to do his work for a few minutes. He's extremely smart. He makes 100's on everyone of his spelling test (1st grader). So, it's not a bad thing to have a child with adhd. Get him evaluated. Study and learn as much as you can on it. Pray to God for help and most of all patience. And everything will be alright. A lot of people are against medication, but my son takes Adderall and there's been no problems what so ever and it's been about 1 1/2 years. He suffers from no side effects. Praise God!!!! Send me a message any time!
I agree with the last comment. You may need to explain more as he may have difficulties predicting the outcome of his or anothers behaviour. For discipline problems I have heard that a system called 1-2-3- magic works very well for children with ADHD. I don't know much about ADHD, I have come across from the autism forum.
I'm not quite sure from your posting whose idea it was to do what happened to your son. Do you think it really happened? Can your son be naieve or gullable?
When I was at school (in the 1970s) I was sat next to a girl who was very sexually aware. I even told the teacher about it, but was ignored. This other child may have had some sexual experience, or may have seen things your son has not.
I think you need to start giving him some very clear guidance as to what is/isn't appropriate for his own personal safety because it may not be obvious to him.
Are you in contact with any parent support groups? There may be social groups for the children etc that could be good for him to let off steam (especially if it is physical exercise type stuff).
Children can be inquisitive about their bodies ie 'you show me yours and I'll show you mind' and they don't see the consequences or dangers involved. As a child I used to go around the house/garden naked. When I reached a certain age I remember my mum saying I couldn't do it anymore. I don't think she did it in a particularly good way because it made me feel very self conscious about myself.
But anyway, 6 is very young if he has moved from 'looking' to 'touching' or 'being touched'. I would say talk to him about it again. If you think it happened then it might be a good idea to talk to his teacher because (a) you need to put some strategies in place to make sure it doesn't happen again and you may need advice from educational psychologist. (b) the teacher should be aware of what the other child did as there may be other issues there from a child safety point of view. (c) you may need to make sure your son is sitting next to someone the school trusts and not next to this boy.
Sometimes, for vulnerable children, they can have an adult carer travel with them, but I don't know if this applies in your case or where you live.
I'm not quite sure from your posting whose idea it was to do what happened to your son. Do you think it really happened? Can your son be naieve or gullable?
When I was at school (in the 1970s) I was sat next to a girl who was very sexually aware. I even told the teacher about it, but was ignored. This other child may have had some sexual experience, or may have seen things your son has not.
I think you need to start giving him some very clear guidance as to what is/isn't appropriate for his own personal safety because it may not be obvious to him.
Are you in contact with any parent support groups? There may be social groups for the children etc that could be good for him to let off steam (especially if it is physical exercise type stuff).
Children can be inquisitive about their bodies ie 'you show me yours and I'll show you mind' and they don't see the consequences or dangers involved. As a child I used to go around the house/garden naked. When I reached a certain age I remember my mum saying I couldn't do it anymore. I don't think she did it in a particularly good way because it made me feel very self conscious about myself.
But anyway, 6 is very young if he has moved from 'looking' to 'touching' or 'being touched'. I would say talk to him about it again. If you think it happened then it might be a good idea to talk to his teacher because (a) you need to put some strategies in place to make sure it doesn't happen again and you may need advice from educational psychologist. (b) the teacher should be aware of what the other child did as there may be other issues there from a child safety point of view. (c) you may need to make sure your son is sitting next to someone the school trusts and not next to this boy.
Sometimes, for vulnerable children, they can have an adult carer travel with them, but I don't know if this applies in your case or where you live.
I forgot to add that you or the school may need to speak to the bus driver because if he noticed your sons pants were down then he should have said something to someone. But you need his take on what he saw.
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