5rd old son says another boy wanted him to touch his privates

[momXthree]

My 5 yr old son has a new friend in Kindergarten who lives in the neighborhood. Parents are acquaintances. He has been to our house a few times, and my son to theirs for short periods. Today he came home from school and told his grandmother that the boy -- on the school bus on the way home -- insisted my son touch "his balls" and said the friend was trying to "brainwash him" and also wanted to touch Kieran's. My son is the youngest of three boys, and will sometimes joke about getting hit there --kind of jokey guy tone that's a little beyond his age. I need to sit him down and find out the tone of this conversation -- and I am wondering...is this normal curiousity on the part of a 5 yrd old? When do I call the parents? What are my responsibilities to my son beyond this incident? He says he is "worried" about it --

[mom2-2ts]

Hi there,
   I have several suggestions for you.  First of all, don't be extremely extremely alarmed, to a certain degree this is a natural curiosity.  However, that said, first thing you should do is sit your son down and discuss with him the importance of his own personal body and how it is not for anyone but himself to touch, and vice versa for other people's bodies.  Explain ways in which mom and dad may need to touch him (bathing, toileting, etc.) but how it is important for him to tell you if anyone does it in another way.  Impress upon him how proud you are of him that he came to a grown up and told them what happened, and that he should do the same thing if it happens again.  While talking about this, also let him know that it was not okay for the other boy to ask him to do such a thing, but do not make your son feel as if he is a bad person if he followed the order as you may prevent him from letting you know in the future if it happens again.  I would also say that this definitely warrants a call to the other boys parents.  In a very non-accusatory way just letting them know about the incident and that you have spoken to your son.  Asking the other parents if they can make sure that they keep an eye out if your son is at their home and that you will do the same.  This could be bringing to their own eyes that their son may be having some abuse problems with another adult, most parents would be grateful for your letting them know.  If they react differently, just know that you did your part in protecting both your own son as well as their's.  If they do react negatively, I would be cautious about letting your son go over to their home on his own because the parents may not supervise in a sufficient way.  Hope this helps.

[mom2-2ts]

Hi there,
   I have several suggestions for you.  First of all, don't be extremely extremely alarmed, to a certain degree this is a natural curiosity.  However, that said, first thing you should do is sit your son down and discuss with him the importance of his own personal body and how it is not for anyone but himself to touch, and vice versa for other people's bodies.  Explain ways in which mom and dad may need to touch him (bathing, toileting, etc.) but how it is important for him to tell you if anyone does it in another way.  Impress upon him how proud you are of him that he came to a grown up and told them what happened, and that he should do the same thing if it happens again.  While talking about this, also let him know that it was not okay for the other boy to ask him to do such a thing, but do not make your son feel as if he is a bad person if he followed the order as you may prevent him from letting you know in the future if it happens again.  I would also say that this definitely warrants a call to the other boys parents.  In a very non-accusatory way just letting them know about the incident and that you have spoken to your son.  Asking the other parents if they can make sure that they keep an eye out if your son is at their home and that you will do the same.  This could be bringing to their own eyes that their son may be having some abuse problems with another adult, most parents would be grateful for your letting them know.  If they react differently, just know that you did your part in protecting both your own son as well as their's.  If they do react negatively, I would be cautious about letting your son go over to their home on his own because the parents may not supervise in a sufficient way.  Hope this helps.