8-year-old sneaking food

[EmpyrealFantasy]

My 8 year old daughter has been sneaking food for about 6 months now.

I don't mean "grabbing a cookie without asking" or "making a second sandwich".  I mean "taking an entire jar of Nutella and eating it all" and "stealing an entire plate of cookies and eating them until she feels sick, then hiding the evidence."

I honestly don't know what to do about this.  We are on a tight budget and what few treats we bring into the home (chips, sweets) she eats all of.  She is not overweight, and though I moderate her diet and encourage her fruits as snacks over sweets, I do not deny her goodies.  It isn't an issue where she isn't getting her share, or with not getting enough food otherwise.  This is pure greed and overinduldence.

She is one of the most kind-hearted, gentle children I've ever known... but this behavior is becoming a serious problem.  Not only is it messy (sticky, gross wrappers shoved behind the bed, candy stuck to her pillow), but I cannot fathom why she is doing this.  She feels so guilty afterwards, she cries and pleads to be forgiven for it... but WHY?  She doesn't know other than to say "I wanted it", and no matter the form of the punishment/incentive, it occurs again within a week, and the cycle repeats.

Financially, we can't handle this.  Emotionally, neither she nor I can handle this.  What do I do to show her moderation, permission is the easier path for her?  What could be causing this in an otherwise happy, well-adjusted child?

[celtzer]

Hi there,
I have a 9 year old son with similar compulsive sneaking of anything sweet. Same deal where he feels super guilty afterwards and he gets really upset with himself and says he "doesn't want to sneak."

I have also implemented the "just done keep it in the house" rule and I think its best in the absence of other solutions.

Can you please post a follow up on how things turned out on this front?

[EmpyrealFantasy]

Thank you all for your kind advice.  You've given me several ideas to try, and I am thankful for the quick responses.  

I'm going to try keeping things out of the house, though I worry with that only staving off the issue.  Perhaps, though, that breaking the habit this way will be effective?  *sigh*  I am not sure, but I'm willing to try.

Thank you all again.  <3

[skepticalpeach]

My DD LOVES cheese. The thing is she is lactose intolerant so when she eats a bunch she gets diarrhea. If I turn my back she grabs it out of the fridge and starts munching on it. To stop her we now lock the cheese in a tupper ware container. An 8 year old could probably open even that so you'll have to do something different. I would suggest doing what I have to do stop my DH from eating a ton of what he likes. One time he ate half a pan of lasagna. So, I didn't make lasagna for 2 years. Just stop buying the items that she overeats. Don't have it in your house. Let her have sweets only when you go out to eat or as a reward for being good at the grocery store, etc. When she shows you that she can control herself start buying it again. She's old enough to understand that.

[RockRose]

I agree with Nola about locking,  as at least a temporary solution.  You could even get a plastic bin at Walmart - they have some with little loops to lock them.  

I went to your profile and found an old post from 2007,  where you indicated you have serious blood sugar issues,  and probably had gestational diabetes when you were pregnant with her (with a weight gain of 70 pounds).

I suspect she has sugar cravings,  although craving sugar isn't usually a symptom of diabetes,  it can be a symptom of a thyroid being out of whack or overgrowth of candida in her system.  

Best wishes.

[nola0805]

I may be going out on a huge limb here - but I worry a little bit that this may be a compulsive behavior (which is a form of anxiety, and is not uncommon in children at all).  Have you noticed it getting a bit worse over time?  Are there any new stresses going on?  

All children love sweets and may enjoy swiping an occasional treat, but it sounds like she is gorging to the point of making herself sick, which sounds more like binging to me (and I am not suggesting that she has an eating disorder at all).  This compounded with other things you mention, make me think it may be a compulsion.  

It sounds like you have already tried a range of discipline strategies and they are not working and you are both miserable. For now, I strongly suggest either not bringing treats into the home or locking them up - you can buy a cheap lock from the hardware store and lock one cabinet where you keep off limit foods.  I would also take her to see a child psychologist for an evaluation - or at least start by talking to her pediatrician.  Good luck

[EmpyrealFantasy]

By moderating, I just mean making sure she balances sweets with nutritious things, that she has a fruit a day before she can have a sweet (not that that is generally an issue, she loves her fruit).  I always make sure she is full after meals and that there are choices for her snacks, in case she's not in the mood for one thing or another.

The fact that all food is open to her to eat makes me doubt it is hunger driving her.  If she's hungry, she knows she only need ask (this is the case often, and we figure out whether there are leftovers, or a yogurt/fruit cup is in the fridge, or even the choice of a few candies from her Halloween basket if she's not "hungry" so much as she is "wanting something".

And yet, despite all this, when there is something she really wants (ie the Nutella, or the Hot Chocolate mix), she takes and and eats it all.  Putting things up doesn't help, as we have a stool in the kitchen so she can help herself to things when she wants a snack that -doesn't- include gorging.

[allmymarbles]

If she is only sneaking sweet things, put them where she can't reach them. Since she is not overweight I am wondering if she is getting enough calories. Metabolism varies from person to person and from family to family. My husband's family puts on weight just from smelling food. My family never gains weight not matter what we eat, and the skinniest of my siblings had a huge appetite. Maybe your daughter is just plain hungry. Try giving her more  filling vegetables such as corn and sweet potatoes.

[margypops]

Could you tell us how you moderate her diet, what she would eat in a day I was wondering if she is hungry ?