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Acting out or something else?
I have an almost 6 year old daughter who I think may be acting out. I don't know what it is. For the past week, she has been wetting her pants saying her brain didn't know she had to go. I have had to keep a close eye on her and remind her to go. She stayed dry all day yesterday and today only wet once. This isn't the only issue.
She has also been doing some distructive stuff. I don't know if it is acting out or not. She has asked me on a couple different occassions if she can use the paints and I told her no. She is a HUGE mess maker and right now we don't have the place for a big mess. The other day while I was downstairs, she was upstairs and she decided to grab the paints anyways. She painted half her body and made a huge mess elsewhere. Other things include using half the dishwashing soap w/o asking, using half the handsoap w/o asking. She makes huge messes in her room. But the thing is, when I catch her, she looks at me excited to tell me what she was doing. She doesn't think for one minute she has done wrong. She also has gone outside to play with mud holes, dirt holes, water. Kills or plays with (as in handling too much that their legs fall off) bugs. Some of these behaviors have replaced making huge messes in her room. That was a daily thing. No floor what-so-ever. She also breaks things. I have been putting her in time outs consistantly for hitting her brother when she doesn't get her way. She has been pretty distructive since she went mobile under age 1!
Other issues have been she gets a lot of stomach aches. I am not so sure it's the things she eats. It all started back when she started a pre-k summer program and lasted all through her K year...usually in the middle of the night. She actually hasn't had one in quite sometime and she is in the summer program again.
She is also smart, but she lacks the confidence in learning things. Ex. She refused to let me teach her the alphabet. She started K with only identifying 6 letters...no sounds. She exited K with knowing what a 1st grader should know by the end of that year. She is now doing this with numbers. No confidence. We don't put her down, especially in academics. She does have a speech delay and has been in speech therapy since 4. She would rather hang with adults than the kids. The teachers had to encourage her to go play with the kids. If one kid just looks at her funny, there went that self confidence things again.
I am confused at what to do with her. Is she acting out or is it something else? I spend most my day with her. My poor son thinks I like her more.
She has also been doing some distructive stuff. I don't know if it is acting out or not. She has asked me on a couple different occassions if she can use the paints and I told her no. She is a HUGE mess maker and right now we don't have the place for a big mess. The other day while I was downstairs, she was upstairs and she decided to grab the paints anyways. She painted half her body and made a huge mess elsewhere. Other things include using half the dishwashing soap w/o asking, using half the handsoap w/o asking. She makes huge messes in her room. But the thing is, when I catch her, she looks at me excited to tell me what she was doing. She doesn't think for one minute she has done wrong. She also has gone outside to play with mud holes, dirt holes, water. Kills or plays with (as in handling too much that their legs fall off) bugs. Some of these behaviors have replaced making huge messes in her room. That was a daily thing. No floor what-so-ever. She also breaks things. I have been putting her in time outs consistantly for hitting her brother when she doesn't get her way. She has been pretty distructive since she went mobile under age 1!
Other issues have been she gets a lot of stomach aches. I am not so sure it's the things she eats. It all started back when she started a pre-k summer program and lasted all through her K year...usually in the middle of the night. She actually hasn't had one in quite sometime and she is in the summer program again.
She is also smart, but she lacks the confidence in learning things. Ex. She refused to let me teach her the alphabet. She started K with only identifying 6 letters...no sounds. She exited K with knowing what a 1st grader should know by the end of that year. She is now doing this with numbers. No confidence. We don't put her down, especially in academics. She does have a speech delay and has been in speech therapy since 4. She would rather hang with adults than the kids. The teachers had to encourage her to go play with the kids. If one kid just looks at her funny, there went that self confidence things again.
I am confused at what to do with her. Is she acting out or is it something else? I spend most my day with her. My poor son thinks I like her more.
Did you lie and steal at this age too? She has taken that up as well. I think she may have some sensory issues that I am going to talk to her dr about. I think most her messes are due to sensory seeking. As far as low confidence, my son is the same way, but it is due to him having autism and the school is well aware of it for him. They are also aware of this for my daughter. They said it could be due to her having speech problems.
I remember doing all those things... Under 10, wetting pants and making excuses. leaving all my stuff dirty and all over the place. My mom always ruining my fun and forcing me to be responsible. "CLEEN UP YOUR CLOTHES!" Crayons on the fridge. I found a slingshot so I hunted pigeons (I only hit one then I felt bad) Sliding on my belly down a mud hill and my mom hosed me off before I could come in. (I was freezing!) Smashed my ghetto blaster to see what was inside. I always wanted to act like adults, hang aroun them, be like them, and do all the things they got to do. Now, Im only 20, but judging by myself and most of my friends. That sounds like a fairly basic childhood
Thank you for posting. I do praise her a lot. Maybe she needs more? I have an older son who is on the autism spectrum and he was so much easier (still is). I really don't know what typical is, but I do know that all kids, whether they have special needs or not, are different. It's almost like I am a first time parent again with her.
good book to read SOS help for Parents by Lynn Clarke..this sounds like a child/parent interaction problem ,the book will help you, you sound too hard on your daughter focus on her positive side and praise her when you see her doing something right, wanting to paint and make a mess is what children do, put lots of paper down and supervise ...good Luck
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