My 10 year old son cries out of the blue

[bip]

I have a 10 year old boy his name is kenny very good....He cries out  of the blue.........Im moving to a new home soon.He is changing schools to....Im not sure if this is affecting him.I ask him what is wrong with him.He tells me he doesn't like when mom goes to work. he wants me to quit my job.I tell him mom can't quit her job he saids daddy works and I tell him I work for extra money so we can do more things together..I do have a 4 year old and he thinks I just love him and I tell kenny I love both of them with all my heart....... I just don't like seeing my son like this.Can someone please give me some advise.Im not sure if Im doing the right thing.

[Cleveland Mom]

bip, I am not judging you or your values.  I want to clarify that.  I do like to talk about values when the opportunity arises.  Our society has changed a great deal over the past several decades.  Families have changed a great deal as well.  This happens to be a topic of great interest to me. I like to provoke thought but I don't want to offend you.  This is a forum of opinions, opinions only.  You have the best vantage point in terms of what is in the best interest of your family.  Best wishes...

[koukla29]

Can you plan an activity for just you and your son to do?  He sounds like he needs some extra TLC.  In addition, I think it's normal for children to feel sad about experiencing transitions in their lives.  He has many right now.  There are good books on moving and going to new schools you might want to get.  He is experiencing a lot of fear right now, and that's normal and ok.  I am also happy to hear he talks to you - he is not keeping it bottled up inside.  Does he like to draw or write?  Maybe he can write a story or draw pictures about his feelings.

[Cleveland Mom]

I agree with April, your son my be on the senstive side.  It sounds as if there are some significant stressors.  A new home/new neighborhood is a big deal for a ten year old boy.  Its alot to cope with.  Its also very normal for him to miss you and question why you work.  I agree with RockRose.  Kids grow up so very quickly and we need to cherish them and nurture them in their childhoods.  If you have to work, you have to work.  Where I live, lots of moms stay home and settle for littler houses, less expensive cars etc. to stay home with their kids.  I live in the midwest.  

I like think about my values, what it is that I hold dear.  These values will leave lasting impressions on my children.  So, I try to be careful with the example I set for my kids, who I bring them around and what messages I am sending to them.  I am certainly not perfect, no one is but I try to tow the line so-to-speak.

Best wishes...

[bip]

It's all mix things why I work
1 cause we need the money
2 yes cause I want us to have extra money so we can do things together.....

[RockRose]

Bip,  if you're truly just working so that you can have a lot of "extras",  I think you should consider quitting your job.  

At least for a couple years.  He really wants you,  and he's growing up fast,  and you'll never get those years back.

If you're working because otherwise you'd have no where to live and nothing to eat,  that's different.

Best wishes.

[bip]

thank you very much it is alot going on right now..We do have a pool and a park there.I told kenny friday night I have off so him and I can  go to canobie lake park..

[April2]

It sounds like you have a very sensitive child who feels things deeply. I have a couple of kids like that. Moving can be a scary thing for a child. He's leaving everything familiar to him, especially if he's starting a new school. Moving isn't just stressful for adults. Children feel stressed too. He's probably feeling sad about leaving his friends and worried and anxious about whether he will make new friends. He's clinging to you more now because you are the one thing familiar and stable in his life right now. Be patient with him. Try and give him extra time with you when you can and give him lot's of reassurance and love. Is there any way you can take some time of work while you are moving? If so, spend a little extra time with him, even one on one time when you can. Try and find a way to make this move seem more exciting. Go to the neighborhood and check it out. See if there's a park nearby, etc. Take him to his new school and see if they will give you a tour. I know it's Summer but there's usually still teachers there. If nobody's there, still walk around the school and go to the playground. Things seem less scary when we can go and check it out first. Are you allowed to have pets at your new place? If you can't have dogs or cats, maybe you could get him a hamster or a turtle. Sometimes having a pet to take care of gives a child a feeling of responsibilty and helps if he's feeling lonely. See if you can get him involved in something where he can meet other kids his age, maybe boy scouts or karate or something. The most important thing, though, is he needs constant reassurance that you will always be there for him whenever he needs to talk to you. If it's ok with your boss, let him call you at work once in awhile. When you aren't working give him and his brother your undivided attention. It will take time for you all to settle into your new home and new school. Just be patient. He will start to relax and get used to it given some time. I hope any of this helps! Take care.