Concerns about preschool. Normal 3YO behavior?

[bbug2008]

Today I was told that my 3 year old's teacher has trouble with him listening and cleaning up and running in the hallways.  It has been less than one month of 3 year old pre school and I am upset with the school.  No one has told me any of this, yet the director and teacher have spoken of it.  I find that those first few weeks or even couple of months are quite a transition stage where children are starting to learn to stay in line and follow the routines of pre school.  But, the director did not sound like she thought that way.  My son also has a speech delay and has a hard time communicating and gets frustrated easily when he is not understood.  But, they do not seem to be taking that into account either.  Are these behaviors normal and is my preschool too strict for this age group?

[emmsalos]

my daughter has and has had a speech delay.  but that doesn't make them run around.  he a normal active boy.  who in my experience is no different.   my son was the same...he was running around all over the place when he first started preschool...he was so excited to be there and for weeks.  it was almost like he had been let out of a cage.  i think its because he's a boy! and a normal one at that !  my son...was offen refered to by his grandfather and now me...as having a bum like a marble.  never kept still and still can't.  it drives me crazy.  as for cleaning up....his mind is on much more important things than cleaning up...and as for listening...well that would distract him from all those great toys and activities he hasn't got back home.  there attention span is nill and my son's was -0.   he's now 7 ...still a vigit...doing great at school loves it...bright and normal.  give him a month or two...he may settle down more...but right now he wants to be into everything.  and that doesn't include listening.   my son stood out a little like that...and eventually youll see it may just be part of who he is.  my friends boy..the same age...was quiet ...shy, inactive, great listener...always did as people told him.   my son questions everthing...never keeps still.  finds it hard to do as his told because he is always larking about...which is frustrating...but he is a good, very sociable , loving lad who has time for everyone...the dinner ladies love him...he still gets excited on the bus and has had a written warning for not being able to sit down all the time.he had one last year too...it was the beginning of the year and he was just soo excited to be getting back.    there is worse things to be worrying about hon.  you,ll see.

  funny how that showed up all those years ago.     he's going to be extra special and a pain in the *** all rolled into one.  ....the teachers words mean so much right...but they forget that us first time parents  can take everything to the point of worrying our ***** off about it.  see what happens over the next few months.  he'll be fine.

[tiredbuthappy]

I am surprised that there are 18 3 year olds in the class with only 2 teachers, especially considering that he has an IEP. Does the IEP call for any extra assistance from an inclusion teacher?
Are the teacher's expectations unreasonable? Yes and No. No, because some children who are 3 behave like this. But, yes because there is absolutely no way 2 teachers can manage 18 children safely if one child is running in the halls, not listening, etc... If your child requires constant attention from 1 teacher, that leaves only 1 teacher to tend to the other 17. However, that is not your fault, nor the fault of your child. It also probably isn't the fault of the teacher, who should not be in this position in the first place. Something is wrong with the program. I would contact his special ed caseworker and express concerns. They need to make accommodations for a child with an IEP. Is this a public or private preschool?

[margypops]

I understand your frustration however it wouldn't get any better you are doing the best thing for your child , trust me anyone that thinks that 3 year olds should behave to a strict regimen are truly in the wrong job..I hope you find something more caring about the needs and emotional well being a a very young child .good luck.

[bbug2008]

This is actually a pre school setting 3 days a week for 2.5 hours a day.  He was in the 2 year old program last year 3 days a week for 2 hours and had no issues.  Last year there were 9 children and 2 teachers, this year 18 children and 2 teachers.  I personally think they are overly strict and I am beginning to realize they are not a very nurturing preschool :(  Sadly, after speaking with the Director of the school, I think we may have to switch schools.  She was very rude, condescending and seemed to think that an overly strict curriculum is best and that my child needs to not be doing these things at 3 years old.  So frustrating!

[bbug2008]

Yes, he is currently receiving speech services and had an IEP plan.

[ticked]

I think its hard to say for a child of this age. My daughter was the same but the daycare was very nurturing for her personality. She had and still has the communication frustration and she is 8yrs old. This is something that we have been working on since she was 3 or 4.  I think the daycare plays a big role.  Some daycare's are different I lucked out with an amazing daycare.  I was sad to move and leave there.

Did he go to a daycare prior or is this his first time being in this kind of environment? To me it sounds normal.

[jdtm]

You mention that your son has a speech delay and difficulty in communicating.  Have you taken him to get help - as a speech and language path?  It is always prudent to seek advice as soon as possible - if your child does not require this help, then the SLP will let you know.  But, if your son does require help, the sooner the help, the better and faster he will improve.  All the best ...

[margypops]

I would say yes.it does sound overly strict .. I think 3 year olds are inattentive ,they do run , is he the only one ,and what is it he needs to do with the cleaning up? So I think this may be a picky teacher , you may want to have a chat with her, see if she can ease off a bit. Dont let them tell you he has anything wrong in the way of a disorder,in my opinion the issues you describe in a 3 yer old are normal behavior patterns .,especially as he has a speech delay