How To Help My 7 Year Old When No One At School Wants To Play With Her On Recess Or Eat Lunch With Her

Question

Today my 7 year old came home from school sobbing.  She said , "No one will sit by me at lunch or play with me on recess.  This happened last year and the teacher was able to help.  Over the summer my daughter played baseball and made a few friends.  The girls even came over and slept over.  My daughter does suffer with depression and anxiety.  And she has Tourrette Syndrome.  But with medication all the tics are gone and she's done very well.  Why does she have to go through this at school?  She has quite a bit of friends in the neighborhood. Do you have any suggestions?

                                                      Thank You ,
                                                         Mary

This discussion is related to No One Wants To Play With My 7 yr Old.

JenLu1975 · Answer

Hi!

I am hoping you're child has managed to settle into the new school year without any major drawbacks yet.  I feel it is normal for us to want to help our kids and to guide them through by providing them with the "love" friendship and support they can receive from friends.  Truth is, if you hold your child's hand throughout school, they are never going to learn to fend for themself.  Its hard watching it but I've had many days when my daughter would come home and say she felt left out or noone wanted to be friends.  I just explained to her that her time will come and that tomorrow is another day.  Kids will do something one day and the next day it will be forgotten.  No worries! You child will be fine,well-adjusted and come out on top.  Sometimes they just have to learn the ropes on their own to find their way. But "snaps" for you for atleast trying....best of luck. :-)

sycostar · Answer

what is the name of the book you purchased and were do i buy it?

Mary621 · Answer

Thanks for the encouragement!!

                                                                                  Mary

RockRose · Answer

Great,  Mary!   So great that you are keeping up with her difficulties,  and it seems like things are turning up the right way for her.  Woohoo,  mom!

I think your daughter will turn out really well.  ;D

Mary621 · Answer

Thank you so much for you input!  Actually, I found out lastnight that it was 2 boys in paticular.  They were makingfun of her, taking some of her lunch and making fun of her clothes and shoes.  For no good reason.  She has all new and nice clothes and shoes.  I let the principal know about it today and he talked with the boys.  I also got her a book online about how to help with social issues.  She loves it . It shows pictures of real kids and the right or wrong way to handle a situation.  I let her know that she doesn't deserve this and that I will help her handle this.  Thanks again for your input.  I liked the idea of letting kids cometo her to play.  She is just a very sensitive young girl.  And I think some kids just find her vulnerable. I thought about signingher up for karate.  She's so good at gymnastics, dancing and singing. Her birthday is Sunday and she is inviting the neighborhood kids.  Thanks everyone!!  Margy I don't know the game cats cradle or 5 stones. How do you play them?  

                                                 Mary

RockRose · Answer

Mary,  you need to be really open to what the problem is.  It could be anything.  

She could be legitimately driving friends off with her behaviors.  

OR,  all the girls in the class could be following a couple of mean leader girls,  who insist that she be ostracized.  

You need to know which is which in order to proceed.  

In the meantime,  keep up with her neighborhood friends by being very welcoming,  and offering sleepovers and pizza and trips to the movies,  anything that will make her friends feel very welcome.

margypops · Answer

Talk to your Daughter and ask if she waits for Children to come to her ,maybe she could start the ball rolling and maybe  share a Book or a game at lunch time. Does she know cats Cradle or 5 stones,these are small games but are a lot of fun, you can help by boosting her self esteem and trying to get a sense of humor going soshe  will sound like Fun to them.If she suffers from Anxiety ,distraction is a good idea and keep her busy, lots of outdoor activities, and sports, she will make friends that way '

karen717 · Answer

My son, who is no 20, went through a similar situation until he was in 5th grade. It is hearbreaking as a parent. You feel as if there is nothing you can do. I never was able to help with this. All of a sudden, he had tons of friends. I don't know what happened. It just worked itself out.