Is this ADHD? Anxiety? What?

[gia1000]

My son will be 4 next month.  He has always been attached, happy, calm and sweet at home.  Little to no tantrums.  When he started preschool is when the trouble started.  The teachers said he exhibited ADHD like symptoms, always running around, not focusing, even during free play.  Impossible to settle/stop chatting during story time.  That is 100% opposite of how he is at home and on playdates etc, so I thought it might be the school environment--huge class, 22 kids.  I switched him to a smaller, more structured preschool.  There, the teachers said he was doing alright, except that he was getting in other kids faces and annoying them.  They would tell him to stop, but he didn't stop.  He was getting better though.  So far so good.  He seemed happy to go to school.  Then, last week, they dropped the bomb... said the exact same thing the first school said, he runs around in circles instead of engaging in a toy, even during free play.  He blurts out answers and ruins games.  He can't settle and stop chattering during story time.  They say he is sweet, not mean or aggressive, it seems to them like a self control/impulse control thing.  They say he fogs out, appears to not be listening to them, even when spoken to directly, but then can repeat everything.  At birthday parties and play dates, he is social, happy, wonderful.  I can pretty much take him anywhere, restaurants, library, etc.  He's a good boy!  But at school, he is not controllable.   Could this be early signs of ADHD?  How can it be so uncontrollable at school, and non existant at home?

[tomel]

I really wouldnt stress out so much. Its not gona do anyone any good.  
Are you worried your son is Autistic or something?
If it is ADHD, which I agree is totally over used. He is still sooo young and still developing.

[gia1000]

Why would you make the autistic comment?  I don't think he has autism, he's so affectionate, attached, conversational.....  He is not clumsy, so fine or gross motor delays.....

[gia1000]

Scratch--i realized why you asked that--I made the numbers comment.  I guess deep down I am paranoid about aspergers, even though he doesn't have any of the symptoms.... but since ADHD seems so out of the realm of possibility for him (considering how he is at home and everywhere else) my mind wanders too much....

[tomel]

Yes that is why I asked, cause you metioned his extreme interest in numbers. He is just learning and that is of interest to him thats all. As long as he is playing with toys and using imaginative play (especially at this age) Another reason not to be concerned.
But I hightly doubt that he is. Especially if his milestones have all  been on track.
I think your son will be fine. Like you said there is a new baby in the house. Alot of children react differently to change. He was the center of attention for almost 4 yrs. and now he's not.  
I think he is prably just very bright. Sometimes very smart children are a little hyper at school cause they are bored.

[RockRose]

Gia - I totally agree that Aspergers doesn't sound AT ALL like him.

For kids true ADHD - (not anger or defiance issues,  that somehow people pretend is ADHD and not something worse) - they often do GREAT at home.  Especially if their home is relaxed and has little structure or rules.  

I don't know what your home is like,  but mine is extremely unstructured.    It's all playtime all the time - they can go inside or outside,  they can eat a snack or not,  I do a lot of picking up after them,  etc.    Lack of focus can't present itself in that situation.

Best wishes.

[gia1000]

Yes, I would say my home is pretty relaxed... I don't ask too much of him... mostly because he is quite agreeable... I don't have to.   Hmmmm.... you've given me something to think about....