My 1 year old will not listen!

[adamsmommy]

Please help.  My 1 year old son will NOT listen to me!  I have tried everything to disipline him and nothing works.  Do I try spanking?  He gets into everything, from opening the dishwasher, to dumping over the trash can and climbing on everything!  He knows he is not suposse to me doing this things.  I know this because he looks at me and laughs when I tell him no.  I am at my wits end.  My husband and I are both sick, I just miscarried - we both need our rest and my child is a wild man.  I need to know how to set boundaries and how to get him to listen to me and obey me when I say no.  I just want a well-behaved child.  One who dosn't throw fits.  Please help!

[tahjsdad831]

my one year old is old enough to kno what hes doing. if he knows how to point and tell me what he wants, throw his diaper in the trash, and feed himself, he is smart enough to kno what no means, just like he knows wat dog means, chair means, cup means, diaper means, and trash means. Kids arent mentally incapable of knowing to stop wen you say stop or no. When i tell him to stop or do something he does what i tell him. He may throw a fit from time to time but when he does he gets popped just like the rest of our family did when we were young. His mom doesnt spank him and he wont listen to her for the hell of it. He knows who and who not to test with. Anyone who says spanking will damage their kid is full of it. i got spanked and im not scarred at all, but believe i have no criminal record and have never gotten in trouble with the law, unlike the majority of children who live in new york raised by parents who were told it was against their state law. no disipline leads to bad kids. not all kids. some kids never need a spanking and they listen pretty good. others do need it. depends on the kid. but with any, as long as you are firm and consistant they know you are serious and will kno that as they grow older. you dont want them growing up thinking you are their nice friend instead of parent, then walking over you.

[wonder_mum]

and i agree with you! they do listen

[wonder_mum]

i am 21 and have a 13month old, she is exceptionally bright, she can talk and walk already. she knows what NO means, and she to gets into everything. i have realized that when she wants my attention she is particularly naughty, by this i mean she climbs on the couch and climbs up on the computer desk. which is very high. She knows she is not allowed to be up there, usually she says mum, and she is smiling at me, waiting for me to tell her off... all i can say is probably play a lot with him. i know you have a had a very difficult time, but he is only a baby and needs the proper guidance at this stage of his life. and i also have dog collars latching the cupboard doors together. lol . :D i also find that if my daughter throws a big tantrum and hits out, i pick her up and put her in her cot until she has calmed down. Even though she can climb out she knows that she is not allowed to when she has been told off, and waits for me to say its OK to come out. i know i am young and other more "professional" mothers might not agree with me. but my best advice is do what feels natural to you, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, not even me.

[mommaofone09]

My daughter is 13 months old and she does the same thing. She is in to EVERYTHING and yes she absolutely knows what she is not supposed to do. She will even look at me and shake her head "no" when she is about to do something she is not supposed to. I tell her "no thank you" and place her somewhere else and distract her with a toy. She will normally cry or throw a fit but I just ignore it and she normally gets over it fairly quickly. I try to keep everything and anything dangerous out of her reach and baby proofed. But you can't keep them away from everything, if it's something that's not hurting them and they are having fun with it (even if it will cause a messw and more cleaning for you) they are learning so  just let them do it. If they want to take the toilet paper roll and make it in to confetti, let them!  :) ...my point is you can't keep them out of everything, as long as they aren't getting hurt just let it go and be happy they are learning and amusing themselves. If they love garbage cans then get them a garbage can that they can play with! They are just going through a stage and they will get over it eventually.
I also rotate the toys between the living room, play room and her bedroom, put some away and take them out later so she is more interested in them and that seems to work for me aswell.
P.s. Another reason babies do this is to get you're attention. They are smarter then they know :) Try just sitting on the floor and playing with them (trust me I know how hard it is when there is a hundred and one things that need to be done around the house) but they could just want the attention on them.
Any ways I hope nothing in here offended anyone, just trying to help :)

[specialmom]

I think that disciplining is guiding and teaching.  I never said that one shouldn't do that with a one year old.  But one must be realistic about their cognative ability.  Do as you wish with your child.  If you feel it works-----  then smack away.  The problem that sometimes occurs is that down the road, a child learns to do the same thing.  If you have an aggressive toddler----  physical punishment will cause them to be more aggressive.  It is hard to say----  don't hit with hitting.  It is hard to say stop shouting while shouting.  

I do have friends that swat.  That is a parents choice----   but one year olds are at a developmental stage in which they are only in the here and now.  Impulse control is not well developed at this point.  Many preschoolers are still working on impulse control.  

I'm curious why this thread reappears----  it is sooooo old.

[lovelymother]

I have taken many psych classes and most are bull and I would like to say experience is a better lesson than being taught what to believe. I have a 1 year old (a very smart one at that), who understands the word "NO" and also knows what not to do. My child put me through tests everyday. He will look right at me before he does something he knows not to do. He talks back in his own language and also throw imaginary hits at me. He knows when im angry and all. Every child is different and needs to be disciplined differently. Also and yes I do discipline my child, I smack his hands when he hit people or throw things and I smack his legs when he falls out and kicks and IT WORKS.