My 9yr old son is afraid

[rn214]

My 9 1/2 yr old son recently became afraid of bad things happening. He is afraid that someone is going to break into the house, break in and kill us, and that something just "bad" is going to happen. He said he overheard some of the news recently and this is why it's happening and he can't stop thinking about it. He is always thinking about *** of course with the night time being the worst. We have not dismissed his fears but tried to help him see that we were safe. He locks all the doors with us, the windows are locked, and we have explained about the news that it is for all of NY and not where we live. Also said if I didn't feel safe enough to go out alone and live here, we wouldn't be living here. Nothing seems to help him. He says there must be something wrong with him because he always thinks about it and he doesn't want to. I have tried to make him read is funny books before bed and think about happy things. He does not have a TV in his room nor does he play violent video games. I don't know what to do at this point. He is out of his room stalling for over 1 1/2hrs  tonight and has been for about a week now. He says he just doesn't feel safe. Can anyone help? Thank you so much for your response.

[rn214]

thank you for the recommendation. I will definitely check it out.

[rn214]

thank you so much for sharing that story, I really appreciate it.

[Stessedoutmommy]

The one thing I may agree with is that "something" has triggered the anxiety. MANY years ago when I was 9 years old, I too became afraid of everything...something bad was going to happen to me and my parents. My mother decided to take me to talk someone. It was a very simple process. I remember the Dr. talking to me, and more specifically asking me questions. He started out asking me why I was so scared, and what it was I was scared of. As I told him my fears, I remember him smiling at me and telling me that I couldn't worry about all that stuff. That my parents were there to take care of me and keep me safe. He asked me if I felt better- I replied "no". He smiled again and asked me...."Do you worry about a truck driving through your bedroom wall at night?" I said no. He then asked me, "Do you worry about the roof caving in when it rains?" I said no. And he finally asked "why don't you worry about those things?" I replied... "because thats silly!" I remember all the details to this day! And my mother swears that after that Dr. visit things started getting much better, very quickly! The few times I would get scared of other "silly" stuff, my mother would ask me the same questions the Dr. asked me, I'd smile, laugh and tell her she was being silly, then go right to sleep!  I think it was a combination of hearing it from someone other than my parents that I trusted, hearing it put in perspective in a fun way, and be reminded of it by mom.  Hope this helps some!

[jdtm]

There's a book written by Elaine N. Aron titled "the highly sensitive child".  It deals with fearfulness as well as anxious issues.  If you google the title of the book, you should be able to find out more about this topic.  I found it very helpful.  I wish you the best ...

[rn214]

thank you everyone for your help. I really appreciate it ! It seems like he is sensitive and maybe has anxiety. You know this world we live in would just medicate him and I don't want that so thanks for all your suggestions.

[margypops]

yup my youngest was scared of vampires..she saw at her friend's house on a video  ...now they are all watching vampire stuff is it called Twilight ?  that makes my stomach turn over ..

[adgal]

I would keep him away from the news and other scary things.  He probably isn't old enough to handle it.  I can remember seeing a horror movie when I was about his age that involved Vampires.  It terrified me, and to this day I hate looking outside the window when it's dark out.  It had that much of an impact on me.  He sounds like a super sensitive kid, with maybe a bit of anxiety?  If he needs the reassurance, I would continue to provide it.  For some reason, what happened to someone else on the news has become threatening for him...I don't think that is abnormal for many kids his age.  Just my opinion, I'm no expert, but I recognize a lot of what I was like as a kid in what you describe.  

[margypops]

It may be a good idea to let it go, say no more make no further reference to it ,its possible that he has become aware it gets him a lot of attention.So if he brings it up play it down ..let it go, distract him.Does he do sport, get Dad well involved with fun and games, this is a phase if its ignored I feel it may go away ...good luck

[rn214]

While I appreciate your thoughts I do agree to a point, there is no school now. He has been with me all summer. This only started a few weeks ago and he said because he overheard bad things on the news. I have been staying in his room at night until he falls asleep. I had to go around the  house and show him all of the windows and doors were locked and he was still nervous. I explained that what happened didn't happen anywhere near where we live but it is still in his head. Thanks for the response though.

[margypops]

I think melipops has hit the nail on the head ..I agree that children do get scared and at sleep overs they are in others control of TV and PC

[melipops]

Hi, Try to get him to see that the things on the news are real but they only happen rarely. Speak to his teacher about this you just never know what might be going on at school. My boys have often said they are scared and it has been something happening with his peers at school. Sometimes boys tell each other stories and it can make them feel very insecure. I would try to find out what it is that he is worrying about. I find with my boys they are not all that thrilled to have me in the bathroom but they are relaxed when they are in the bath at night and i have found out many things by having my back turned brushing my teeth and just asking what happened today, Good Luck hope this helps