PLEASE I NEED HELP

[Justneedhelp85]

My little girl is 5. She started school this year, she has settled in really well, made heaps of friend. In June of this year she got on a bus and went to a friends place instead of going to afterschool care where she should have been. I was lucky i knew the family. I punished her for that as i needed her to know that what she did was wrong and very dangerous. I thought that she had learnt from that incident. But she didn't. I had made plans with a friends mum that she would go over on the Wed and that was fine. I got a phone call this afternoon on my way home from work saying that she was still at the school missed her bus and had thought she was ment to go to her friends place today. We got home we spoke about the day and then i asked what happened and she said" Well we made the decision that i would go today not tomorrow". Now i am scared how do i deal with it. I thought that i got through to her the first time. I'm scared that she is going to make the wrong decision one day and i never see her again. PLEASE I NEED HELP!!!!

[megochick101]

Yeah I know what you mean. She's 5 so she doesn't yet realize how dangerous and wrong it is to go off somewhere without telling you. I agree that punishing her for it probably won't help, because she won't understand what it is she doing wrong, she only knows that you believe it's wrong but she doesn't understand what exactly is wrong about it i think. She just thinks she's going to a friends house so to her it's ok, she doesn't see the bigger picture. I don't really know how you can help her understand it better so i guess i'm not much help here, there's probably a kids video somewhere that can help explain how dangerous it is to do this. At least i would hope so, sorry I'm not being much help here lol

[Justneedhelp85]

Hey thanks for your input. Yes i agree that it is the school fault and i have taken it further and i will be following it all the way. My concern is that she knows that she is doing the wrong thing and it just doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest. I have punished her but i just feel that it isn't the way of dealing with it.

[megochick101]

In fact now that I think of it. when I wanted to go to a friends how, i had to have written permission from my parents AND my friend had to have written permission from HER parents.

[megochick101]

This seems very strange and unsafe to me. Not her wanting to go to her friends house but the fact that the school and bus driver let her. When I was younger and riding the bus, the ONLY way I would have been able to go anywhere besides home is if my mom had given me a note for both the school and for the bus driver giving her permission to let me go to a friends house. if I didn't have a note, no matter what plans I had I was taken home, she couldn't even call in and give permission, it had to be a written note for me to go anywhere besides home.
'
She is 5yo, yes you should have talked to her about it, but you can't really blame a child for that. The school should NOT have let her go anywhere without first consulting you and getting your permission.

[margypops]

Just leave her in the after school care forget this house and that house, that way the teachers are in control, she is only 5 year old. The decision is yours not hers you make the arrangemnts so leave her at after school care..