Pilfering 4 year old -out of control!

[Deb779]

I have a pilfering child but he's only 4!!  It started a couple of months ago with him stealing chocolate from the fridge, so I put it all up out of reach. Then he turned to stealing what he could reach, such as cheese and raisins.  I tell him off, and suspend TV rights etc, and he says he's sorry, but then he does it again!

Easter was a nightmare -he stole a bar of his sister's chocolate without me knowing, and he must have got tired whilst eating it and feel asleep on it. His PJs and bedding were covered in melted chocolate.

I work full time so a childminder has them after school. She took them to a playcentre last week, and when she told me he stole a bar of chocolate, I was mortified. But that was nothing to today.

He was playing football out the back, and he snuck out of the garden, went nextdoor, walked in their house, kicked his shoes off, helped himself to a packet of crisps and sat in their lounge!!!

I have tried asking him why he's doing these things but he says he doesn't know.

I am at my wits end, I feel like I've lost all control over him. He doesn't seem to respond to any form of discipline, and he just tells me NO when I ask him to do something/stop doing something.

Any suggestions?  I really don't know if I can face going through therapists etc, Ive been there with my daughter when she was younger and they suspected ADHD at school and were intent she should be medicated, but the Doctor's said no. She was very bright and forward for her age, and just didn't conform to what the teacher wanted in a 4 year old in the class. She is 9 now, and although still very bright and inquisitive, I am glad we didn't medicate as she really doesn't need it.

That said however -she never stole anything. She had a concentration problem and issues with dealing with emotions.  My son has none of that, he's extremely strong willed and doing a lot of classic "I'll do the opposite of everything you say", which whilst frustrating, is fairly normal. But this latest addition to his repetiore I can't dismiss.

Any advice greatly appreciated!!!

[tdub321]

That he only steals food is an important fact.  The obvious first question is whether he's getting enough to eat, and the right types of food (all the food groups / proper nutrients, etc).  IMO he should be getting 3 meals a day and healthy snacks between meals.  

Assuming this is not the issue, I would wonder about vitamin deficiencies or metabolic disorders that would cause him to crave certain foods or sweets.  Any reason to suspect diabetes?

If you rule out any medical cause, you may need to seek a counselor's advice on managing this behavior.  It my be an attempt at control, or he may be using food to cope with some sort of anxiety.  

There's also a condition called Prader-Willi Syndrome where (in other to numerous other characteristics) children are prone to constantly crave food and never feel satisfied. This is unlikely and I just threw it out there as a total long shot because it rang a  bell... but worth looking into if there doesn't seem to be any other explanation.  

[RockRose]

I'm curious about why he isn't allowed unlimited cheese and raisins if he's hungry.

Is he significantly overweight?  I wouldn't consider a child who goes to his own family cabinet and gets cheese or raisins to be a problem at all,  or even that the behavior would catch the attention of the parent.  The chocolate,  I get.  Certainly the wandering next door and eating.