Aa
What can I do about my three yr old sons behavior?
My son turned three in January and almost immediately started getting into everything. When I say everything I mean nothing is off limits in his mind. He has gotten into powdered sugar one day, baking powder the next and then Cocoa powder another. He gets into the fridge and throws eggs on the floor, bites cheese off the block and eats pretty much whatever he wants. (We bought a lock for the fridge to deture this which has helped keep him out of the fridge. Although the water in the door is an issue still.) I have all my candy, cookies or any other junk food on the tallest shelf in the kitchen and he climbs up onto the counter and sneaks the food. I have gotten so fed up that I have even thrown stuff away to keep him out of it.
He gets into my make up, nail polish, lotions, soaps,and medications (which is scary!) I keep all these things in the master bath behind a gated and locked bedroom door. Though he has learned that if he wiggles the door knob hard enough that the door will unlock. When he plays outside he plays in the barbaque soot and turns on the water faucet. He got into the recycling the other day and was throwing glass on the patio. I am very consistant in deciplining him whether with a timeout or a spanking (depending on the offense) but he just keeps doing it. I have a duaghter who is 5 and she never had any behaviors this extreem. I don't know what to do besides lock up every nook and cranny of my home! I watch 3 other children so it makes it hard for me to have eyes on him at all times, but he still closely monitored. He is also very sneaky. If I am in the kitchen he goes up stairs to find trouble, if Im upstairs he goes downstairs to find trouble. He immediately goes to the kitchen if he can't see me, even if I can still see him. Im tired of cleaning up all these messes. They are becoming a huge part of my day and it is getting to be too much. What can I do to discourage him from getting into things, for my sake as well as his own.
He gets into my make up, nail polish, lotions, soaps,and medications (which is scary!) I keep all these things in the master bath behind a gated and locked bedroom door. Though he has learned that if he wiggles the door knob hard enough that the door will unlock. When he plays outside he plays in the barbaque soot and turns on the water faucet. He got into the recycling the other day and was throwing glass on the patio. I am very consistant in deciplining him whether with a timeout or a spanking (depending on the offense) but he just keeps doing it. I have a duaghter who is 5 and she never had any behaviors this extreem. I don't know what to do besides lock up every nook and cranny of my home! I watch 3 other children so it makes it hard for me to have eyes on him at all times, but he still closely monitored. He is also very sneaky. If I am in the kitchen he goes up stairs to find trouble, if Im upstairs he goes downstairs to find trouble. He immediately goes to the kitchen if he can't see me, even if I can still see him. Im tired of cleaning up all these messes. They are becoming a huge part of my day and it is getting to be too much. What can I do to discourage him from getting into things, for my sake as well as his own.
You DO have your hands full!! I hope you occasionally get a break to take a little time for just you once in a while. We moms need our batteries recharged every now and then!
I think it is a good idea to decrease the number of kids. As the one that you took on full time escalated the situation, it was wise of you to seek another arangement for him. I really think this will help.
Well . . . okay, I'll say it. You threatened to bag up the toys and take them away. He didn't seem to care at the moment . . . and the toys came right back, I suspect. Your threat wasn't carried out (I'm careful to only threaten what I will do. I've threatened to take away my son's pillow and his glass of water at night . . . smaller things that he has as part of his routine)------ he's probably learned that along the way. Play along, he'll get his way. I'd have threatened to take something special (and I mean something little is good that he uses every day or something like any tv time) and I'd make him stay in his room until he cleaned it.
I wouldn't let these kids in his room. You just have to make a rule and make him follow it. Get down on his level, tell him NO and walk him back out to the common area the other kids are in. I think you are just going to have to keep your eyes on him 24/7. If you reel him in now, then maybe you won't have to be so on top of him down the road.
Okay, my older son . . . well. He has sensory integration disorder. He is always on the go. But I am firm about my rules. I don't play. I follow the advice I gave you above and it works. I try my very best to never yell and I've never spanked. I'm just firm and follow through.
If it is too rainy outside, get physical activity in at home. Set up an obstacle course. Put a mattress on the floor as the day's trampoline. Play games that are active. Put on the rain coats and boots and go puddle jumping. I live in the midwest and it is cold in the winter----------- I do it all indoors. You have to be creative but if you see a difference in behavior, it is worth it.
I wish you lots of luck.
I think it is a good idea to decrease the number of kids. As the one that you took on full time escalated the situation, it was wise of you to seek another arangement for him. I really think this will help.
Well . . . okay, I'll say it. You threatened to bag up the toys and take them away. He didn't seem to care at the moment . . . and the toys came right back, I suspect. Your threat wasn't carried out (I'm careful to only threaten what I will do. I've threatened to take away my son's pillow and his glass of water at night . . . smaller things that he has as part of his routine)------ he's probably learned that along the way. Play along, he'll get his way. I'd have threatened to take something special (and I mean something little is good that he uses every day or something like any tv time) and I'd make him stay in his room until he cleaned it.
I wouldn't let these kids in his room. You just have to make a rule and make him follow it. Get down on his level, tell him NO and walk him back out to the common area the other kids are in. I think you are just going to have to keep your eyes on him 24/7. If you reel him in now, then maybe you won't have to be so on top of him down the road.
Okay, my older son . . . well. He has sensory integration disorder. He is always on the go. But I am firm about my rules. I don't play. I follow the advice I gave you above and it works. I try my very best to never yell and I've never spanked. I'm just firm and follow through.
If it is too rainy outside, get physical activity in at home. Set up an obstacle course. Put a mattress on the floor as the day's trampoline. Play games that are active. Put on the rain coats and boots and go puddle jumping. I live in the midwest and it is cold in the winter----------- I do it all indoors. You have to be creative but if you see a difference in behavior, it is worth it.
I wish you lots of luck.
Thanks specialmom for your post. He is a hard one. He doesn't really have anything he loves. The other day he wouldn't pick up his toys in his room after dumping everything out and so I told him that he needed to clean it up or I would put all the toys left on the floor in a garbage bag and take them away until he gained them back. It didn't work, I had to take the toys and put them in a bag, he didn't seem to even care.
The worst mess yet was the other day. He got into a case of strawberries. (I don't even know how he snuck them past me) He took them upstairs to his bedroom to eat them......He and one of the kids I watch started throwing them all over the room. It was all over the walls, in the carpet, all over them....everywhere. I made them help clean up. I usually do make him help clean up but it doesn't seem to deture him from doing it.
As far as going to the park or something to get his energy out, It does work when we can get out. We live on the Oregon Coast so it rains ALOT here. The weather has been especially against me lately. I try and let them go out and play on the patio or ride bikes out front when its nice if I have too many kids to go to the park. I really don't have many kids as some only come part of the day and only a few days a week. I only have 1 child that is 5 days a week all day. My daughter will be going to school in the fall, so that will open up some more mommy time alone together. I also do know that the full time child has amplified my sons behavior and so last week I told his mom to find someone else to watch him. I am hoping that this change alone will make a huge difference. This other child tends to encourage him to do SOME of these things. But I don't know.
As for the medications and toiletries......they are put somewhere where most children wouldn't get to them. My son is a climber and climbs up onto our waist high counter tops to the top shelf which is probably about 7 ft off the ground...I can't even reach it on my tippy toes and Im 5'5". Not to mention he has to climb a gate and unlock a door! Crazy kid....he sure is determind.
I have been thinking of getting some kind of alarms to attach to my master bedroom door and his bedroom door so that I would know that he is up in the morning or if he has gotten into my bedroom during the day. I don't know I already have so many gates and locks all over the house and they just aren't working for him. I don't know what else to do. When did your boys out grow this phase and was it this extreem? Everyone I talk to has at least one story simaliar to this but not a whole list of stories!
The worst mess yet was the other day. He got into a case of strawberries. (I don't even know how he snuck them past me) He took them upstairs to his bedroom to eat them......He and one of the kids I watch started throwing them all over the room. It was all over the walls, in the carpet, all over them....everywhere. I made them help clean up. I usually do make him help clean up but it doesn't seem to deture him from doing it.
As far as going to the park or something to get his energy out, It does work when we can get out. We live on the Oregon Coast so it rains ALOT here. The weather has been especially against me lately. I try and let them go out and play on the patio or ride bikes out front when its nice if I have too many kids to go to the park. I really don't have many kids as some only come part of the day and only a few days a week. I only have 1 child that is 5 days a week all day. My daughter will be going to school in the fall, so that will open up some more mommy time alone together. I also do know that the full time child has amplified my sons behavior and so last week I told his mom to find someone else to watch him. I am hoping that this change alone will make a huge difference. This other child tends to encourage him to do SOME of these things. But I don't know.
As for the medications and toiletries......they are put somewhere where most children wouldn't get to them. My son is a climber and climbs up onto our waist high counter tops to the top shelf which is probably about 7 ft off the ground...I can't even reach it on my tippy toes and Im 5'5". Not to mention he has to climb a gate and unlock a door! Crazy kid....he sure is determind.
I have been thinking of getting some kind of alarms to attach to my master bedroom door and his bedroom door so that I would know that he is up in the morning or if he has gotten into my bedroom during the day. I don't know I already have so many gates and locks all over the house and they just aren't working for him. I don't know what else to do. When did your boys out grow this phase and was it this extreem? Everyone I talk to has at least one story simaliar to this but not a whole list of stories!
Hm. Three is hard. Do you know what my two boys did when they were 3 and 2? They got out oameal and opened the lid and started throwing it in the air yelling "it's snowing!! its snowing!!" All in the 2 seconds I was in the bathroom. It is amazing where their little minds will take them.
Okay, so how does the mess get cleaned up? My suggestion would be make him help you and hold his favorite toy/blankie or prized item in time out until it is finished. You haven't found your golden ticket with him yet. What is his most special thing? Maybe it is an item or maybe it is something he likes to do. That is your bargaining chip and you must follow through when he is testing boundaries.
What kind of physical outlet does he get? I hear that you are babysitting other kids . . . you may end up having to have less children under your care to provide the energy outlets that your son needs. My boys have to run around at a park every single day to get their energy out. Their behavior is much better when they have had a lot of physical activity and mental stimulation. Make sure you are providing this. I am not saying you aren't but increase whatever you are doing in that area already.
He may not like sharing you every day and be trying to get your attention. Give him some extra and make him your helper. Praise him like nuts for whatever he does to "help you". Switch this negative attention to positive.
And yes, lock up the whole house. At three he still needs constant supervision and if having kids to watch gets in the way, you may have to lesson the number of kids you watch. Medication should always be up high.
goodluck
Okay, so how does the mess get cleaned up? My suggestion would be make him help you and hold his favorite toy/blankie or prized item in time out until it is finished. You haven't found your golden ticket with him yet. What is his most special thing? Maybe it is an item or maybe it is something he likes to do. That is your bargaining chip and you must follow through when he is testing boundaries.
What kind of physical outlet does he get? I hear that you are babysitting other kids . . . you may end up having to have less children under your care to provide the energy outlets that your son needs. My boys have to run around at a park every single day to get their energy out. Their behavior is much better when they have had a lot of physical activity and mental stimulation. Make sure you are providing this. I am not saying you aren't but increase whatever you are doing in that area already.
He may not like sharing you every day and be trying to get your attention. Give him some extra and make him your helper. Praise him like nuts for whatever he does to "help you". Switch this negative attention to positive.
And yes, lock up the whole house. At three he still needs constant supervision and if having kids to watch gets in the way, you may have to lesson the number of kids you watch. Medication should always be up high.
goodluck
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments
