11 yr old girl not sleeping-too scared

[Rachy1975]

I'm posting on behalf of my neighbour who's having huge problems with her 11 yr old. She's recently started Secondary school and just before they broke up for Christmas, when they were in the Library, a group of kids showed her a film they'd found on Youtube. It was some Japanese horror film and it has scared the living daylights out of her. She's gone from sleeping relatively well, to not being able to sleep on her own at all and not being able to settle. She's won't even be left alone upstairs on her own and it's really starting to affect the family...not least her 6 yr old sister, who is now starting to play up.

They're all frazzled and at their wits end. They've tried everything; baths, relaxing, reading, stories, imagining something else-she's even had her room completely redecorated as a Christmas present, in an attempt to make it more comfortable for her. How can you MAKE someone stop thinking about something? It's like she's now associated bedtime with the terror and can't get past it. Nothing is working, she can't get past that fear and I'm posting in here for some help please!

Of course when they start back at school, they WILL be hearing about it....

[margypops]

You are so welcome let us know the outcome .

[Rachy1975]

Thanks guys. Me and her Mum have had a chat today and discussed the possibility of taking her to the doc for some 'therapy' or something-she really is at her wit's end. They found the film in a shop today and got her to take her frustration out on it-she yelled at it and threw it halfway across the shop! If it's no better tonight, I'm going to buy it, so she can really do it some damage; see how that pans out.

She's never been the best at bedtime; takes her a while to settle, but this is just ridiculous. It's just pure fear and I really feel that she's going to need some other help to break it. Thankyou for your comments!

[RockRose]

Rachy,  I think it's time for therapy.  First,  with a visit to her pediatrician for a referral to a psychiatrist.  She is old enough to realize in her rational mind that this is fiction,  and enough time has passed that she should be getting incrementally better if she's going to on her own.

When you say she's gone from sleeping "relatively well",  do you mean she slept relatively well after seeing the movie but has now regressed?  Or that she's always been a very fearful child  but used to sleep "relatively well" before seeing this?  In either case,  I really believe she needs therapy to get back on track.   Her reaction indicates she needs help,  IMHO.

[adgal]

I'm not certain there is anything they can do except allow and encourage her to talk about why it scared her and remind her that it was just make believe, not real.  I can remember being about her age and seeing that movie Salem's Lot.  Scared the heck out of me.  I still have a bit of an irrational fear of vampires if you can believe it and I'm 42 now.  That movie really affected me.  In time, she will begin to feel better hopefully.  It's too bad kids have such easy access to stuff their minds just are not ready for.  I'm sure this sort of thing is happening in many households these days.  

[margypops]

sorry for typo's I have a flare of Carpel and it makes typing and using the mouse hard ...

[margypops]

This is a problem isnt as now they use the phones to show anything they want, as it was on school property it is the school the parents should speak to .I think time will help ,no one can stop someone else from thinking , maybe its time to downplay the issue so it isnt in the forefront of her mind.Her parents also should tell her not to look at anything on another's phone ..just say no thank you wand walk away .Time also for the parents to not be so frazzled it makes the matter worse .Children see far too much graphic stuff on the Computer and on TV Parents in my opinion, do need when they can to vet everything and supervise more , I realise they couldn't in this case, I mean in general .