child behavior

[bluejay003]

I have a 4 year old daughter who will not listen at all. lately she wakes up crying after we put her to bed. Sometimes she's only asleep an hour and she's up crying. I know it's just because she wants someone in her room with her but we can't do that all that time. we have a 10 month old as well. My daugher doesn't listen at  all. Has tantrums like crazy. can someone please make a suggestion on how to handle her crying at bedtime. I don't know what else to try doing. she's not scared of the dark

[cariss02]

It really may be night terrors and that why she's having tantrums because she's not sleeping through the night. Our Dr. told us to do a "poor" mans test lol If u have a video camera record her at night when shes sleeping. Mabe she really isn't asleep in that hour maybe she is the camera doesn't lie. It will also tell you how she's sleeping through the night. If she's restless if she snores if she gets up in the middle of the night from sllep walking or needs to go to the bathroom etc.I no at night I'm soooo tierd but I've learned to have a routine at night with my kids. 6:30 we take bathes/p.j's  7:00 we brush teeth 7:30 we read a book each child picks out a book 8:00 bedtime Maybe your oldest could pick out a book for herself and one for you and her to read to the baby! Good luck!

[Ms.April]

This is going to sound really dumb....but rearrange her bedroom!

When my husband was deployed I had the very same problem with my son. Although I could have easily plopped him in my bed it was important to train him to sleep in his own room. He was terrified. I lingered with the thought of moving his room to a bigger bedroom because I was moving him from a toddler bed to a twin bed. Everyone told me NOT to move his room and that his sleeping would get worse, however I felt like he was ALREADY not sleeping or wanting to be in his room at night so what did I have to loose?

I ended up getting his new bed, moving his bedroom and guess what? He LOVED it. For some reason the change of scenery was a fix. My guess is that the first few nights he wanted out he was puttin on a show for me to see if I would cave in, then because I did he continued to do it. After a while it was the environment (being in his room at night) that would (I think) trigger him to act out.

Obviously not everyone has the ability to change bedrooms but try re-arranging and redecorating (if possible). New bedding, and furniture moved into new places may just be helpful for you too!

Best of luck, I know what those days are like!

Ms.April

[Amy1973]

Have you tried a special stuffed animal, maybe given to her by the sibling?

Music or books on tape in her room while she is falling to sleep?

Dreamcatcher?

Special dolly that looks like mom, it might take her place?  Ty Bennie babies has a cute bear I saw the other day that had flowers that says something about loving mommy?  She might like this?

Does she play in her room alot?  If no, maybe let her play in her room before she goes to sleep?

If you use the room for a time out spot, she might not want to sleep there at night?

Others might say just let her cry it out if she is safe.  If she knows you do not like it, she will keep doing it?  

Maybe a chart of things she does before she goes to bed - including tucking sibling in, her in her bed, mom in her bed, ect...

Hope something works, I understand I have a little one with night terrors and I have to get up with him often.  However, the doctor advised me to just get them back to sleep and not get up with them.

[boosty]

i meant to add more. the fact that she doesnt listen could be that she is mad and wants the attention to herself. but her sleep needs to be mentioned to her pediatrition.

[boosty]

i was thinking of nothing but the fact that your daughter is simply trying to get all the attention to herself because of the new baby.

[RockRose]

Bluejay,  are you sure she actually goes to sleep for an hour or so?  This is extremely unusual,  for a child her age to actually fall asleep,  and then wake up after an hour or so and demand attention.  

I'm sorry to keep asking this so pointedly.  ;D  If she's just laying there seething and then has a tantrum,  that's one thing.

If she's sleeping for an hour,  I would bet she's not in a fully awake state when she wakes and cries.  

Best wishes.  This sounds really hard.

[bluejay003]

she's definately awake.no signs of sleepwalking or anything like that.  I don't think it's nightmare because it's every night no matter what time she goes to bed. she gets a bedtime story. . she's sometimes nosy too..afraid she's going to miss something :)

[RockRose]

Are you saying she goes to sleep,  but then wakes up an hour later and cries?  That sounds like a sleep disorder common in small children,  night terrors.    Does she appear fully awake at that time,  or is she kind of "out of it" and looks through you?  Like she's kind of sleep walking?

Night terrors are often described as a child screaming in horror,  but we've experienced it more as agitation and like,  irritated sleep walking.  My child wasn't fully awake,  and you couldn't really converse with him,  and he'd say things like I want mommy while looking right at me.  Is that what she's experiencing?

[Haremiliana]

It could be the case of jeoulsy, do the baby sleep with you? Tell your daughter that you love her try giving her more attention and supporting role such as helping you with passing you the diapers etc. Make her feel that she's 'wanted' and when bedtime, try reading or sing lulubby make her feel 'secure'.