Aa
Can't deal with my 11yo daughter
I am a single (widower) 35 yo father. I lost my wife 8 years ago in a car accident and since then I am raising my little girl alone. I am not exactly rich but tried my hardest so she wont miss anything. I admit I maybe spoiled her some because I could never bring my self to say no to her. We always had a healthy though a bit distant realationship. We never had common activities such as playing Playstation together or even going vacations together. I would always sent her to a summercamp so she could be with kids her age. But the last 3-4 months (little after she turned 11) she started wanting to be close to me. And I mean very close..She will sit on lap,sneak in my bed at night, dressinginappropriatly at home (while she never even remotely does that when out) I even caught her spying on me when I was showering. Seriously I am in areally desperate position of how to deal with her behaviour. I would love to explain to her that what she is doing is VERY wrrong but I dont want to jump to conclusions neither make her feel bad. Please any suggestion of how to approach her would be really really helpful. So far the "pretend nothing is happenning till she stops" plan doesnt work for me....
Well we went together to the movies and saw Malifice (her choice). I have to admit was fun but still troubles me that she considered it a "date". She was trying clothes all day....And she insisted to hold hands for the most part of the movie. I couldnt find a good reason not to let her do it without hurting her feelings
I am pretty reluctunt to visit a psychologist. Maybe only the fact that I will send her there will hurt her?
And something irrelevant but since you are a nurse you can propably answer that. My daughter recently asked me to buy her tampons instead of pads. Is that ok for her age? I think she is still very young for that.
I am pretty reluctunt to visit a psychologist. Maybe only the fact that I will send her there will hurt her?
And something irrelevant but since you are a nurse you can propably answer that. My daughter recently asked me to buy her tampons instead of pads. Is that ok for her age? I think she is still very young for that.
I understand, and it would be hard as a dad to find things to do with your daughter. Just ask her what she likes. You could do things like go to the movies, a concert, vacations would be good, yes! Is there any adult female that she's close to, like an aunt? Maybe reach out to someone like that who can maybe spend time with her, and maybe talk to her. Maybe your daughter will open up to a female more?
11 is a rough age to begin with, and of course you have extra challenges, being a single Dad. I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife. The good thing is you've recognized that something isn't right, and you've reached out for help. That's a great first step.
11 is a rough age to begin with, and of course you have extra challenges, being a single Dad. I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife. The good thing is you've recognized that something isn't right, and you've reached out for help. That's a great first step.
When I said "distant" I meant that we dont really do many things together.
Ofcourse she has my attention when it comes to issues like her friends at school, her periods that started this January, her education etc. So should we go on vacations together this year or what other actiities would you suggest? Cause whenever she needed me I was always there for her but have to admit I am kinda clueless about what girls of her age would like to do.
About her mother's loss she was just 3 and she doesnt really remember her. We have looked at pictures of her together and talked about her but
she didnt show any sign that she misses her.
Ofcourse she has my attention when it comes to issues like her friends at school, her periods that started this January, her education etc. So should we go on vacations together this year or what other actiities would you suggest? Cause whenever she needed me I was always there for her but have to admit I am kinda clueless about what girls of her age would like to do.
About her mother's loss she was just 3 and she doesnt really remember her. We have looked at pictures of her together and talked about her but
she didnt show any sign that she misses her.
I agree with the above reply. I think an evaluation would be helpful.
I have to say, my first reaction was that your daughter is starving for your attention, and being that she hasn't really GOTTEN your attention like she maybe should have all these years, she's trying to find a new way to get your attention, even if she knows it will be negative attention.
Have you ever just sat down with her and asked her how she's feeling? Has she ever dealt with the loss of her mother at such a young age?
Blessings to you and your daughter. I really think she just needs her Daddy.
I have to say, my first reaction was that your daughter is starving for your attention, and being that she hasn't really GOTTEN your attention like she maybe should have all these years, she's trying to find a new way to get your attention, even if she knows it will be negative attention.
Have you ever just sat down with her and asked her how she's feeling? Has she ever dealt with the loss of her mother at such a young age?
Blessings to you and your daughter. I really think she just needs her Daddy.
By your post, it is tough to say what might be going on as it could be a host of different things. What I think you should do before this situation gets even more complicated is to seek the advice of a mental health professional. This professional would be able to sort this situation out.
Your inability to say no to your daughter and having a distant relationship with her is concerning. I really have no idea if these issues are playing a role with your daughter's current behavior. These are definitely issues that should be discussed in family therapy.
Your inability to say no to your daughter and having a distant relationship with her is concerning. I really have no idea if these issues are playing a role with your daughter's current behavior. These are definitely issues that should be discussed in family therapy.
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