help!

[elvia]

My 5yr old daughter never obeys! If i ask her to do something (anything) she always says NO. There are times when she will just ignore me totally and she hears me but it seams she just want to fight w/me She yells or throws a temper tantrum.She's made comments like i wish i were never born or nobody cares about me. I do punish her if she's bad and it's hard to even give her that I feel like i'm her enemy we never get along and i want to have a GOOD relationship with my daughter.I do have a special needs 4yr old i am wondering if she's resents her sister or am i not giving her the attention she needs because i do have to give my 4yr old alot of attention! How do i make her feel loved and get her to follow directions a little bit more?

[anxiousmomtobe?]

She is manipulating you as she is jealous of your younger child.  How disabled is the younger child?

I agree with 3rd, make sure to have a special time on a regular basis just with your older child.

Stay calm, make sure you tell her you love her, praise her for good behaviour and be consistent about punishing the bad behaviour.

[3rdchild]

I have a 6yr old special needs child.  So I understand they are a handful.

Can you spend some alone time with your 5yr old.   Take her out...just mommy and her?  Once in awhile or once a week so she knows she's special.?