Not sure

[jallen17]

Im a father of a 5 and 2 year old.  Both of which slept in our beds. The oldest is finally in her room but it took 3/4 years.  The 2 year old still is in our bed.  I was not in favor of it and I do think that it impacted the marriage.  

BUT with the oldest at least, I can say that it did not develop any co-dependency issues.  She is the most outgoing, confident,  and independent child you could want (to a fault, she is very strong willed).  We NEVER had problems with separation.  While I see Cry it Out parents have children clinging to thier legs anytime they are out of the confines of the house.  

I guess time will tell with the 2 year old boy.  Wife and I are both Psychologists.  Bedtime has always been a struggle.  We know how much kids need to sleep but struggle to get them what they need.  If it were up to me only, I would have them out of the bed by age 2.  Not being able to listen to them cry and having them sleep in the bed because it is the easiest thing to do are not really valid reasons to do it.  But again, from personal experience, I think it has more negative impact on the marriage than the kids.  


This discussion is related to 6 yr old sleeping with parents.

[mammo]

I think it's fine and obviously it was good for your daughter.  I'm a firm believer if a child needs you at night, be there for them.  I think it is an imposition on us as parents, but it's about what the child needs and is best for them.  My grandson slept with mommy (divorced parent) until he was 3 1/2 and he is the happiest most well adjusted child!  She has no seperation issues, he excels at preschool and gets along just fine with other children.  Mommy was there when he needed her, and I think this is a big reason he is so well adjusted today.  He sleeps in his own bed and has no issues at all.  If my kids wanted to sleep with me....they did.  I had no problems and they grew up well adjusted.  I think you're doing the right thing.  Often we can make things more complicated than they need to be.

[margypops]

Interesting to hear a Dad's perspective on an issue most families have to deal with ,I do think the only way is to get your wife on the same page and start leaving him in his own crib/bed he will not like it, he will climb out and come to you, you have to stick it out.On the other hand many families have the family bed and do okay with,Some say allow the child to sleep on a litle mattress near your bed.I think it can only have a negative impact if you let it.. you know how to fix it as a Psychologist , ask  yourself what you would tell other parents to do . Could it be you and your wife really have to see eye to eye .so thats the part that needs fixing first..Good luck to you ,..