my 2 year closes up in school

[rghkah38]

My dd turned 2 in July.  I just had another baby in April. My 2 year old says many words, but I feel like sometimes it's a struggle for her to talk. She does repeat things back to me.  She gets frustrated a lot, but there are times where she will tell me what she wants.  She is out goings everytime we went to social places and she will go up and say hi to people.  Well, I started her in school 2 days a week in August.  I wanted her to be sociable without mommy or daddy there.  I thought she was going to do good, but I was wrong.  I drop her off in class and she just stands in the same spot until the teacher goes and gets her.  She also squats a lot and ignores them when they call her.  They have not heard her speak at all.  The only thing they heard her say is mommy when I come in the room.  I  talked to the dr.  and she feels I should add another day. I switched her to half days too.  If there is no change in 2 weeks I'm taking her out.  I don't understand it.  This isn't my daughter.  I feel so bad watching her from outside of the classroom.  Has this happen to anyone else.   I really need advice. can this be a jealousy issue because of the new baby?

[Nighthawk61]

If this were my child I would pull her out now and spend the time helping her to adjust to her sibling before I worried about other children bonding. Mommy and me programs, time for you two to be alone, is important when there's a new baby , to let her know that you value your alone time with her.And of course play dates will help with the socialization with other children her own age.  I hope that it works out well for all of you.

[Sandman2]

   I agree with both of the above.  I have had kids scream and cry for the first two weeks in kindergarten, and then settle in and be fine.   Don't make any hasty decisions.  Give her a bit of time and see how it works.  Do talk with the teachers though, they might be more helpful.  And, I would walk her into the classroom and maybe follow adgal's advice.  After a couple of weeks of this if its not working, then switch her out.  But, do make some changes in how things are being done.
     And, no, I don't think this is a jealously issue.  That will happen more at home and will probably become apparent in her attitude toward you - becoming more demanding, etc.

[adgal]

I don't think what she is doing is overly unusual for a child being away from mom for the first time.  It takes time for them to adjust.  My son started daycare 3 days a week at 13 months after being home with me.  In my case, I had to return to work part time.  What I did was spent the first week or so just leaving him for short stints.  An hour, gradually increasing the time as he seemed more comfortable.  I played with him there as well in that first week, and then graduated to sitting in the room where he could see me as he slowly began to interact with the other kids.  By the end of that first week he felt very secure in that I would come back, and he had been able to get comfortable there with his security source (me) there.  A year and a half later, and he has just started full time.  He is a super happy, social kid.  But I think it would probably be terrifying for them to just be dropped off and then mom gone.  Try spending time there with her unless you are going to pull her out altogether.  I can tell you, if I were able to keep my child home full time I probably would.  Socializing can happen through playgroups, playdates and other activities involving other children.  

[nursegirl6572]

All kids develop at different rates.  I haven't seen or knnown TOO many 2 year olds with very advanced vocabularies.  She's still learning.

As to her behavior in school, it could be an adjustment thing.  Think about it.  You just had a baby, so she may already be feeling left out, now she's being sent to school, which means even less time with Mommy and Daddy.  Also, if the new baby is at home, she may REALLY be jealous.  Here she is...being sent off to school while the baby stays home, getting all of Mommy's attention.

My opinion is the opposite of the doctor's.  I say pull her out of school all together, give her the at home attention she needs, and put her back in  preschool at 3.  Pretty soon, before you know it, she'll be going to school all day, every day.  Really, as a parent, enjoy these moments you have with her while you can.  She needs your attention, and she needs to spend time at home adjusting to the new baby.

I think preschool is a good thing, for sure, but you have plenty of time for that.  I think it's just bad timing.  Take her out, and let her be at home, bonding with you and her new sibling.  Next year, you can send her to
pre-K for the socialization that is helpful at that age.