My brother is dying.

[jela001]

My brother is 46 and has been an alcoholic for many years. 2 years ago when he had his first seizure and went into the hospital he found out he ha end stage liver disease. He was given 6 months to live, that was 2 years as, he never stopped drinking or took any of the medication. Well, 10 days ago he took a huge turn for the worse, he turned bright yellow, couldn't eat, was having constant bloody diarrhea, throwing up blood, can't stand or walk on his own and has very diminished brain function, he has angry outbursts and makes no sense when he speaks. He also looks 9 months pregnant. After DAYS of pleading with him, and even after he REFUSED the ambulance when it came. My son (his nephew, who is a police officer) finally got him to go to the hospital last night. The Dr told us that this is probably his "terminal" event and other then keep him comfortable his liver has totally failed and they can only send him somewhere for "end of life care" at this point. How long can this go on? Will he have days? Months? I need to hear from people who have been through this. Watching him suffer like this is devastating. Has anyone ever had someone go into end of life care? What can they do for him? Thank you for any insight anyone may have.

[Livelife777]

Hoping for a peaceful journey for your brother.  My heart goes out to you and your family.
Warm Wishes
.....Kim

[hepcandme]

I send my heartfelt condolences to you and your family

[jela001]

Thank you so much for your kind words, they are very comforting to me. As a Family we did EVERYTHING possible to try to get him to go to treatment. In the end the bottle won. We have all forgiven him and are there to comfort him until he takes his last breath. All med except  the morphine pump have now been discontinued, he has developed many bleeds in his stomach that they can do nothing about because he would die during the procedure. He was also coded "DNR" this morning, he is refusing food and sleeps most of the time. They won't have a Hospice bed for 2 to 3 weeks so he will remain in the hospital. I know the question about how long he may live may seem horrible to some people, but we just don't want him to suffer any more.

[jela001]

He is waiting for a bed in hospice right now. They have stopped all medications with the exception of the Morphine pump. He can have 1 mg every 10 minutes. Today his code was changed to "DNR" I am so sorry about the loss of your loved one. This is such a horrible thing for families to go through, the not knowing and watching him suffer is the worst part. I also pray he goes to sleep peacefully.

[jela001]

Things have gotten much worse since I posted originally. The pain has increased in his stomach to unbearable levels. I demanded he be put on a morphine pain pump and he got one today. He can get 1mg of Morphine every 10 minutes. Overnight he developed a bleed from the site they were using to drain the fluid from his stomach. Originally they were going so do a Blood transfusion as well as place a tube down his throat go locate the source of the bleeding. Today when I came in the DRS said they are not going to do either procedure because he may die during either one. They are stopping all medication with the exception of the Morphine. He was also placed on DNR status today. They believe he has esophageal verices, as well as many other bleeds in his stomach. I want to thank you for your comment, it is very comforting to hear from people who have been there.

[Livelife777]

Liver disease is such a devastating illness and I'm so very sorry that your brother is going thru this.  I have reread your questions to try to help you understand what to expect and hopefully give you some understanding.  

It's so very difficult to know what the next few weeks/months will bring.  I can only tell you about a recent family loss of a loved one with Cirrhosis and Liver Cancer.  The Drs said he had 2 months, but he lived only 9 days.  I will say that the last few days he slipped into a coma, and did pass on peacefully surrounded by loved ones and friends.  I'm hoping that your brother will not
be in pain or distress if this should be his time.

I can't say enough about Hospice and especially the nurses that care for our loved ones in their final days.  They are so very compassionate and will be very truthful as the go thru this on a daily basis.  The last thing they want to see is for anyone to be in distress and for us Morphine was given along with anxiety meds.  How long does your brother have?  They would be the ones to ask and help you prepare for what's to occur.

Again, my sincere condolences for such a troubling time.  It's obvious your brother means the world to you, and would not want to cause your further pain.  Please let's us know if we can help or assist you in any way.  I know how life can seem so unfair at times and wish you and your family only the best.
Peace to all
......Kim

[hepcandme]

Please accept my heartfelt condolences. It's hard to fathom someone giving up their life for alcohol

Your brother sounds as if he has End Stage Liver Disease that Hector explains quite well in this post:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Cirrhosis-of-the-Liver/End-Stage---How-Long/show/2513112#post_12229793

I think that all you can do now is to make your brother comfortable and work with hospice to make these last days bearable. I can't say enough good things about hospice. Doctors rarely speculate about how long a person has left but the hospice team will do everything they can to keep you informed and will know when the end is near

Please take care of yourself as well during this very difficult time. It sounds like your brother has already put the people he loves through many heartbreaks and challenges. Try to forgive him and just be there for him

I am sending good thoughts your way

Kind Regards

[Sarah1949]

Hi,
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. My mother died of liver cancer due to Hepatitis C and cirrhosis. The biggest thing we were able to do for her was to be there and to make sure she was comfortable. Her doctor gave her morphine as needed to where she was the one who decided how much to take and how often. She was able to stay home because she had a directive in place stating that she only wanted comfort measures. After a fall, she was moved to hospice where she was able to die in peace.

It was important to us that our mother make her own decisions and determine how she wanted to leave.