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Can I be the father?
I had unprotected sex with a woman on the night of July 17th. This was the only time we have ever had sex. Two weeks later (July 31st) she tells me she went to the doctor and she is pregnant. On Aug 5th she texts me and tells me she is already showing. I think it is all in her mind but I see her later that day and she was visably bigger. Then on Aug 7th (3 weeks after we had sex) she said she had an ultrasound and they saw twins. Is it possible for this to be happening this soon? Is there any way I can be the father?
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
Take care. Keep it civil, and don't accuse her of lying. Things will go just a whole heck of a lot better if you do. (Including, it will make it much more possible for her to tell you later that she made a mistake, if you haven't been fighting.) You really have the final say because a DNA test will tell, when the time comes.
ps -- As I assume you have figured out by now, condoms are your friend. Now on out.
ps -- As I assume you have figured out by now, condoms are your friend. Now on out.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, if she is telling you that you are the father, that moves you to the level where you can then ask her to give you a copy of the ultrasound report. If she says she didn't get a report, pleasantly tell her that's OK and ask for the name of the doctor, and ask her to let the doctor's office know you are going to call and want to discuss the report. She will need to give permission to the doctor's office for that to happen, and if she will not, it tells you something.
For what it is worth, the baby's heart does not start beating until around the 22nd day after conception, which would be at 5 weeks 1 day, counted the medical way. Again, her story is ummmm, plausible but just barely. It really seems like there have been a lot of things that are happening just a little too soon. I guess you don't know about anyone else she might have had sex with in the recent past if she is saying you're the only one she has been with, but it sound like of all the choices (leaving open the possibility you are the only one), she thinks you are the best choice.
Whether this is all a tale, or whether she is pregs with someone else's baby and invented the twins to explain the bloating so early, or whether this is all true and you are the only possibility for dad, since she has told you that you are it, she has opened you to have the right to at least ask to look at the medical record and the doctor's name. If she balks at the ultrasound and balks at giving you the doctor's name, I think that when she has the baby (if she does), you will find the DNA test shows you aren't the dad.
For what it is worth, the baby's heart does not start beating until around the 22nd day after conception, which would be at 5 weeks 1 day, counted the medical way. Again, her story is ummmm, plausible but just barely. It really seems like there have been a lot of things that are happening just a little too soon. I guess you don't know about anyone else she might have had sex with in the recent past if she is saying you're the only one she has been with, but it sound like of all the choices (leaving open the possibility you are the only one), she thinks you are the best choice.
Whether this is all a tale, or whether she is pregs with someone else's baby and invented the twins to explain the bloating so early, or whether this is all true and you are the only possibility for dad, since she has told you that you are it, she has opened you to have the right to at least ask to look at the medical record and the doctor's name. If she balks at the ultrasound and balks at giving you the doctor's name, I think that when she has the baby (if she does), you will find the DNA test shows you aren't the dad.
Thank you very much for your reply. I mistakenly wrote they "saw" twins on the ultrasound. Her exact words where they heard two heart beats. She is considerably older than me and she does already have 5 kids and that is why she is saying she is showing so early. However, when I saw her, she looked bigger than "just bloating". At first she didn't come right out and say the that I was the father but after I questioned her showing so fast, she got defensive and said I was the father. She says the doctor is telling her she is 5 weeks and she is due April 9th. I did the calculator already and it says exactly April 9th for the due date on a July 17th conception. She says I'm the only person she has been with.
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Then five days later she is showing? Well, unmh uhhh, ... maybe ...... if she has had another child or children, she might be more prone to bloating early in pregnancy than a woman who has never been pregnant. But that is pretty early. When I was pregnant I was in my 7th week before I even needed to start to unbutton my jeans button on long car rides.
Then two days after that, she says it is twins? Three weeks after you had sex, oddly enough, is considered "5 weeks pregnant" by the medical way of counting. (This is because a doctor begins the count not at the presumed day of ovulation, but on the first day of the last period she had before getting pregnant.) It is possible to get an ultrasound at 5 weeks 0 days and see the embryo, but often fifth week ultrasounds are problematic and don't allow the woman to see anything. I guess if an embryo can be seen at 5w0, it would be possible to see two embryos. But all told, there is quite a lot of "awfully early" in the story.
If she is pregnant, and it sounds like you don't think she is lying, she probably got pregnant before you went wading without your Wellies.
Has she said you are the dad? Because a realistic woman would not say so with the info she's given you, she would say you are in the range but possibly not the dad. You're not very much in the range.
My suggestion is to be nice to her, there is nothing to be gained from making remarks. Just ask her to let you know what due date they gave her, when she had her ultrasound. (This is on the report, the estimated due date or EDD.) If you want, write me back and I can plug the EDD into a calculator, or you can find a calculator online by looking up "conception calculator." Working backward from the due date, you can get a good idea of a conception date, when the ultrasound is this early. If she tells you a date that adds up to your time on July 17, it sounds like she is targeting you, so you then have the right to ask to see the ultrasound report. But don't go that far (it sounds like you don't trust her if you start out by demanding documentary evidence) unless the date she gives suggests you.
Just from what you are saying, it sounds kind of like she is not saying you're the dad, just is telling you the dramatic news. How she reacts to your requests for info will tell you a lot. If she is straightforward, that is one thing, but if she is squirrelly, that is another.