Ease my mind please

[Tara8181]

Hello. I am due June 16th. I had sex with a guy on August 18th and got back with my boyfriend shortly afterwards. I remember having what I think was my period on September 9th. I had three ultrasounds done one at 5 weeks, one at 7 almost 8 weeks and one at 12 weeks all matched up with my lmp dates and conceiving calculates put me at or around September 23rd but i really want someone to ease my mind. Did I most defiantly not get pregnant in August or is there a change I should be worried?

[Quinnayy]

I've been having a lot of anxiety over something similar. All I can tell you is that the early ultrasounds have been proven to be off by 5-7 days, max. Extremely accurate. If you have had multiple ultrasounds in the first trimester that all match the same conception date / due date then I would go by your ultrasounds. I wouldn't worry much in your case, not with multiple first-trimester ultrasounds. Don't read into too many things online, or you'll find a reason to overthink. I personally believe it isn't the first guy you mentioned.

[AnnieBrooke]

Three ultrasounds is a lot of evidence. What is it that is bothering you about the situation?

[Tara8181]

Pregnancy and my mind is wandering. Probably guilt more than anything which I shouldn't feel since he broke up with me nut i guess there is nothing wrong with reassurance.

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, only if it would be reassuring. I asked because if your real worry was that the dates were wrong, three ultrasounds seem to be enough to answer it, and no amount of reassurance about dates will reassure if the dates are not really what is worrying you.

I have a list I sometimes post of the kind of things that are bigger and more amorphous worries, that women don't want to face and so instead put the anxiety onto questions about dates that aren't supported by the facts. (I'm sure other worries can drive this kind of transferrence also.)  It includes such things as guilt over one's behavior, catastrophizing in general or that if their partner found out they cheated, their whole life as they know it will end and the world will explode. Worry about being a parent, about money, or that they won't be a good parent. Wishing the other guy was the dad and being ashamed of it. Terror that the other guy is the dad because he is totally awful. Resentment of their husband or boyfriend. Fear of childbirth. Feeling God will punish them. Feeling bad about being pregnant and not married. Not really wanting to be a parent.

Those kinds of worries are a lot bigger than a question about dates, and are not easy to control. The brain hates that they don't feel solvable. A person's mind in this kind of stress often lets the anxiety settle on something more cut-and-dried that feels more controllable. (Like the dates and what if the father is someone else.)

It does not sound like you are lying awake at night worrying about the dates, but if you are, try to figure out what is really bothering you. You can make rational decisions about those things, and your need for reassurance will drop away.  

[AnnieBrooke]

At least, your need for reassurance about the dates will drop away. lol

[Tara8181]

Lol I totally get what you are saying. I don't really dwell on the topic too much because you're right there is a lot of evidence to back up. I guess I just wanted to know if you think its some thing I should worry about or if you were in a similae situation. Would you worry?

[AnnieBrooke]

In a similar situation, I would be delighted, because I would be going to have a baby. Spent $100,000 trying to get a second child, no go. I would not even care who the father was if I was miraculously going to be a mom again. Keep your eye on the prize, realize you are the lucky one, listen to your doctor, and don't waste time on things that don't have a basis in reality. You're going to be a mommy! It's the most wonderful thing ever.