How can I tell if the kid is mine

[Tony745]

Anyways back in 2013,I had sex with this female that I met through my cousin,well months later she told my cousin I got her pregnant,I didn't believe it until she had the baby.Well I message her asking was the baby mine and she said no, but then I asked her why she was going around saying it was mine.She laughed and said no again ,Blocked me on Facebook. How can I tell if the kid is mine or not? Because She stays in another city 45 minutes away from me. I seen pictures of the child but not any recently. It bothers me because what if she is mine and grows up to hate me because of mother. Thanks in advance

[AnnieBrooke]

What makes you think you are the father besides two people who she "wouldn't tell who the father was" who finally somehow came to think you are the father?  For example, when was the baby born and when did you have sex?

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm just trying to figure out why you think you have a reason to worry.

[Tony745]

I added the months up and we had unprotected sex that night, I can't recall the exact date but it was in September. That's what makes me think.

[AnnieBrooke]

It's not just "9 months."  If you can be more specific, I could help you work out whether you have cause to worry or not.  It's 266 days from conception to birth if the baby is full term, do you have any way to know if the baby was right on time?  What details do you have?

Usually, when a woman thinks a man is the father of her baby, he will hear from her.  Either she will contact him because she needs child support, or she will feel like "a child has the right to know his or her father" and her conscience will push her to make contact.  (Even if you think she doesn't have a conscience, you'd be surprised, being a mommy wakes up women to their responsibilities.)  Almost always, if the guy is decent (not a druggie or frightening, such as, violent), the mom will usually find a way to let the dad know.  

This woman has not let you know, in fact, she has said you are not the dad.  This means the odds favor her having figured out the baby is not yours, and even possibly that you have been a little over the top to worry about it, especially if you have contacted her a lot.

All you can do is try to work out the exact dates, of you having sex and the birth date of the baby.  Write back if you have any clearer clues, just counting back "9 months" doesn't do it.

If after we do the math, the dates do add up, you could write her (not on social media, write an old-fashioned letter) and say that so-and-so told you (on such-and-such a date, be specific) that she said you were the dad.  Then say this is of concern to you, and that you would like to do a DNA test or would at least like to be reassured that she knows who the dad is and it is someone else.  Point out that you would not bother her except for what (name the names) said.  See what she has to say about that.  If she doesn't respond, have a lawyer send her a registered letter saying the same thing.

BUT that is all in the future, first let's work out the dates and be sure you are even in range.  You don't want to look ridiculous or egotistical.

[AnnieBrooke]

Is she still going around saying the baby is yours, or did you just hear this once from your cousin?  She might well have figured out that the baby didn't come from the sex with you.

[Tony745]

Idk if she is or not, I heard it twice from my cousin and once from another person that lives in her town. They said she wouldn't tell them who the father was either. I just don't want it to haunt me later down the road.