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How to tell if she is lying about pregnancy
Hi, this feels kind-of like a childish question, but its eating me up so i would love your help in this matter please. I just told my GF i dont want anything to do w/her anymore because i found out she has lied ALOT to me and others. Well now she is claiming pregnancy. Now, i know 1st reaction is "shes lying you idoit!" But just the fact of knowing it COULD be true is killing me. I used protection, she "said" she was on the pill. She disposed of the condom at the time "month ago" but is just now telling me it broke. She found out at the doc. for some sort of heart tests and it came back in the blood work that there was faint but obvious preg. hormimones present. She claims that med. abor. is not an apotion because of her recent "heart problem". Surgical may not be an option either BC of her heart. All of this information has come straight from her.
Im trying to find holes in her story to hopefully discover that she def. is lying to me again. Thats why im seeking your help because of my lack of medical knowledge.
She has claimed abuse(twice), rape(2 years ago), abortion(1 yr ago), and so on and so on. Most recently abuse between her and co-worker. She claimed broken wrist and a few scratches. I even saw her wrist and it looked terrible. Numourous post visits from him scaring her and mess. Restraining order,etc.All this took place over a 2-3 week time period. Well i recently found out that it is all untrue. So maybe this should be in the mental forum. Thank you for any input -Frank
Im trying to find holes in her story to hopefully discover that she def. is lying to me again. Thats why im seeking your help because of my lack of medical knowledge.
She has claimed abuse(twice), rape(2 years ago), abortion(1 yr ago), and so on and so on. Most recently abuse between her and co-worker. She claimed broken wrist and a few scratches. I even saw her wrist and it looked terrible. Numourous post visits from him scaring her and mess. Restraining order,etc.All this took place over a 2-3 week time period. Well i recently found out that it is all untrue. So maybe this should be in the mental forum. Thank you for any input -Frank
RUN don't walk away!!
she needs help and you can't save her
could she be lying - probably - even if she isn't - in 8 months go though the legal stuff and share parenting or get the kid away from her - but it won't do any good to stay if she is!
Ask her to pea on a stick for you. make up some corny story about how you want the positive preg test for a scapbook - if she won't do it there's your answer
ebest of luck
she needs help and you can't save her
could she be lying - probably - even if she isn't - in 8 months go though the legal stuff and share parenting or get the kid away from her - but it won't do any good to stay if she is!
Ask her to pea on a stick for you. make up some corny story about how you want the positive preg test for a scapbook - if she won't do it there's your answer
ebest of luck
Go with her to the doctor.
Um, if she claimed all of those things before, why were you still with her?
Um, if she claimed all of those things before, why were you still with her?
Frank,
Make her take a home pregnancy test right in front of you. I think you are right to be somewhat suspicious. If the test is positive, you might want to consider paternity testing after the baby is born. If you used a condom AND she was on the pill, this makes it pretty unlikely it's yours.
(Don't fall for the old "HPT's don't work for me". If she already had a positive blood test and a few days have passed at least, the urine SHOULD be positive, too.) If not, make her wait a week and test again. Or go to the doctor with her to talk about what to do with the pregnancy in light of her "problems".
Make her take a home pregnancy test right in front of you. I think you are right to be somewhat suspicious. If the test is positive, you might want to consider paternity testing after the baby is born. If you used a condom AND she was on the pill, this makes it pretty unlikely it's yours.
(Don't fall for the old "HPT's don't work for me". If she already had a positive blood test and a few days have passed at least, the urine SHOULD be positive, too.) If not, make her wait a week and test again. Or go to the doctor with her to talk about what to do with the pregnancy in light of her "problems".
Do you think she is in-line with what she said about the complications with her heart and it effecting an abortion?
We are on bad terms at the monent since she told me this, after i told her she lies too much. But i may be able to get her to take a test for me. She said she has two in her purse that she took already, but i dont trust them, because i think they could be tampered with. Is there a document that she should have recieved if they found it in her blood work? Something i could positivly ID?
Did i mention she went through this whole abortion thing 3 mnths ago when she was at school and i was home(not anywere near hear were it could be proven)? We havent been "together" since, but have been hanging out every once in a while (kicking my self sooooooo bad). I kind of just picked up on the serious lying problem because i NEVER had ANY way of acually proving anything, and i just couldnt fathom someone acually being able to tell such huge, long winded lies.
We are on bad terms at the monent since she told me this, after i told her she lies too much. But i may be able to get her to take a test for me. She said she has two in her purse that she took already, but i dont trust them, because i think they could be tampered with. Is there a document that she should have recieved if they found it in her blood work? Something i could positivly ID?
Did i mention she went through this whole abortion thing 3 mnths ago when she was at school and i was home(not anywere near hear were it could be proven)? We havent been "together" since, but have been hanging out every once in a while (kicking my self sooooooo bad). I kind of just picked up on the serious lying problem because i NEVER had ANY way of acually proving anything, and i just couldnt fathom someone acually being able to tell such huge, long winded lies.
I agree with the rest of the ladies, get outta there!! If she is pg, time will show. I like the idea of having her test while you are there. Simply show up with a test, no warning, and see what happens. At this point, even diluted urine would give an accurate result.
And just a simple word of advice...NEVER, EVER believe a chick who says she is on birth control. And I mean NEVER!!! Or the old story "I can't have kids" because you will be the miracle guy who knocks them up! I cannot even count the number of guy friends who have fallen for that thinking "yes, no condom!" only to get that wicked little surprise a few weeks later "I'm Pregnant!" I know, seems bad for a woman to say this, but I have 2 nephews that are a result of that and while I love them dearly, my idiot older brother fell for the "I'm on BC" trick, not once, but twice by the same woman. Not to mention how many guy friends have ended up in the same boat. They love their kids, but harbor a lot of resentment for the mothers, making things a bit tense.
Anyway, even if she is, play a reserved role for a while until you can find out for sure if it is yours. And watch for the "I was pg but lost it" ploy. I had a friend who pulled that trick with a few guys when we were younger. A nifty gimmick to "save" a failing relationship.
Good luck with everything. I do not envy your position.
Andi
And just a simple word of advice...NEVER, EVER believe a chick who says she is on birth control. And I mean NEVER!!! Or the old story "I can't have kids" because you will be the miracle guy who knocks them up! I cannot even count the number of guy friends who have fallen for that thinking "yes, no condom!" only to get that wicked little surprise a few weeks later "I'm Pregnant!" I know, seems bad for a woman to say this, but I have 2 nephews that are a result of that and while I love them dearly, my idiot older brother fell for the "I'm on BC" trick, not once, but twice by the same woman. Not to mention how many guy friends have ended up in the same boat. They love their kids, but harbor a lot of resentment for the mothers, making things a bit tense.
Anyway, even if she is, play a reserved role for a while until you can find out for sure if it is yours. And watch for the "I was pg but lost it" ploy. I had a friend who pulled that trick with a few guys when we were younger. A nifty gimmick to "save" a failing relationship.
Good luck with everything. I do not envy your position.
Andi
If she supposedly has this heart condition, she'd better be getting her a@@ to the doctor to find out what to do. An abortion is not always contraindicated b/c of heart problems. In fact, a full term pregnancy can be risky depending what she says her problem is.
Make her take a test YOU bought. If she won't take it, you have every right to step back and wait to see what happens. Don't admit to anything until you get paternity results, if she really is.
I feel for you, really. Next time be sure you know what condition that condom is in when you're done. I don't understand what you meant when you said she "disposed" of it. If it was intact when you took it off, then the chance of pregnancy dwindles to almost nothing.
Make her take a test YOU bought. If she won't take it, you have every right to step back and wait to see what happens. Don't admit to anything until you get paternity results, if she really is.
I feel for you, really. Next time be sure you know what condition that condom is in when you're done. I don't understand what you meant when you said she "disposed" of it. If it was intact when you took it off, then the chance of pregnancy dwindles to almost nothing.
It sounds to me like your gf has narcistic personalty disorder, I would suggest doing some research on theinternet as to what exactly tht is. Get out of the relationship, even if she is pg with your child, you shouldnt be with her. If you want to know now, insist on a hpt, or insist on talking to her dr. Chances are that she is not pg, and that in a few weeks she wil miraculously "miscarry" I know all of this because the abuse etc. game is one my mother plays well, and has been playing for many years. If she IS by some miracle pg with your child, I would suggest suing for sole custody of the child before he/she is even born. A child should not be brought up by one of these people. Good luck to you.
Thank you all for the advice. I realy means much to me. I will up-date if i find anything out. Thanks -Frank
COMMUNITY LEADER
GOOD LUCK, Frank! These ladies are right. If she won't pee on the stick right in front of you, she is lying. If she is pregnant, be sure to take a paternity test as soon as possible (which can be if she has an amniocentesis or can be after the baby is born). Document everything about her behavior, even just as notes to yourself, NOW, so if this ever gets to a fight over custody, you will have the information to give an attorney. And after the peeing on the stick, stay away from this crazy girl.
Frank I was dating a guy who told me he was dying of cancer. I of course believed him. When you really love someone anything goes. So many people told me not to trust him . But he would cry and carry on so and then he even played the part limping and fainting etc. I do think he had some medical problems but not cancer and he is not dying. All this I found out from his live-in. Whom by the way he was with when he told me otherwise.
Now your story could be quite different. As the dad you have a legal right to know. If you are comfortable contact her dr. If not you will have to speak to a close friend of hers or simply wait it out. Also I do not mean any disrepect but may I suggest a paternity test. This women sounds pretty unbalanced.
Now your story could be quite different. As the dad you have a legal right to know. If you are comfortable contact her dr. If not you will have to speak to a close friend of hers or simply wait it out. Also I do not mean any disrepect but may I suggest a paternity test. This women sounds pretty unbalanced.
I just have a couple of things to say. You say your gf told you she has a couple of hpt in her purse that she already took. Instructions on those things say results should NOT be read after 48 hrs (as they may not be reliable). Secondly, what sort of heart condition does she have? I also have one and both my ob/gyn and my cardiologist stressed to me that carrying a baby to term could be risky and that if there came a point in pregnancy that my life was at risk b/c of the pregnancy, then an abortion would have to be considered. My point is, carrying the pregnancy is riskier than the abortion. I agree with the other women, have her take a hpt that YOU have purchased, go to the doctor with her. If she refuses to do these things, you can almost be certain she is lying.
Well i do know her doctor because i go to the same practice as she does (that was by chance BTW). We arnt married, so could i acually ask him these questions and he legaly tell me the answers?
Nope. sorry,even if you were married, he could not give you information w/o her written permission. I really don't think you have any other option. If you don't want to be with her, you shouldn't stay just because there is a possibility that she may be pregnant. Aside from forcing her to take the hpt or going with her to the doc, I guess you could just wait it out. If she really is pregnant, (and doesn't mysteriously m/c) you can demand a paternity test later. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Just do what you truly feel is right for you. You are in our thoughts. Keep us posted.
Okay, thanks. Im not with her anymore, since ive told her that ive discovered she lies alot, we havent talked at all. Then she popped up with this PG. stuff. All she does is send me messages on my phone and its driving me insane; she wont talk to me on the phone. So, friday shes going in for more "heart testing" and to see if her heart can "handle" an abortion. I guess will see how it goes. All of your help has realy helped put me at ease for now. It is greatly appreciated! Thank you -Frank
Just wanted to stress the fact that you need to have her pee on the stick right then and there and watch the results appear together. She could pull a "tampered" one out of somewhere in the bathroom and by "tampered" I mean an old one with what are called evaporation lines. This is when you read a test past the recommended time (about 10 min) and can get a false positive. Good luck, let us know.
UPDATE: She had "tests" preformed today to find out she has mitral valve prolapse and that she has to wait two months(when she leaves for school........(and me)....coicedence???..) before they can decide if an abortion is possible. After online research about MVP this sounds like absolute BS to me. Am i missing something? Any other reason MVP would prevent medical and surgical abortion at this time???? I have yet to present a HPT to her but plan to ASAP. Thanks -Frank
UDATE2: She says she cant be on any anit-biotics, cant be put under, no blood thinng meds, for the abor. Now, my research indicates you arnt put under for surg. abor. Is this correct? And does any of this fly? And she says there waiting to see if her heart prob. heals in 2 mnths, or she needs surg. to fix it?
I hate to say it, but her story does seem a little unbelievable. Maybe you should offer to go with her to a Dr. appt. and offer "support" see what is really going on. If she doesn't want you to go then you should really have her take a test and see if it comes out positive. Sounds to me like she wants attention. For an abortion they don't normally put you under. If you look it up or ask a Dr. they numb your cervix and just dilate you and do a d&c, same as if you had a miscarriage and they were cleaning out the tissue. There are some restrictions I'm sure, but I hardly think a Dr. is going to run tests to see if can can handle it, they should know. Also, lots of people have heart problems and are on antibiotics, they are just preventative anyway, seems like she hasn't done her research either. (Ihave a medical background, and worked on a crisis line for awhile, things may have changed in the past few years, but doubt they have changed that much.) I would think a pregnancy would be harder on her body. Could also be that she is pregnant and doesn't want an abortion. Either way you need to have proof that she is pregnant and then go from there. She should have something from the Dr. appt., even to show that they ran a test, it would be on paperwork under labs run. Good luck, and if it is negative, don't look back, get away ASAP!
She offered me bloodwork papers by mail, because i think she is avoiding the HPT possibly. So, i think the papers may be self-generated??? How do i tell if they are authentic and not altered? She agreed to a HPT but not untill 2 weeks after her ultrasound appt.. Ever since i mentioned HPT that i buy and bring over, shes started talkin about how shes gonna be gone most of the summer now, and doesnt have alot of free time. Im getting kinda POed.
Clearly I am not a cardiologist nor do I play one on TV. But I have a friend with mitro valve prolapse and there were no problems/ precautions with either of her pregnancies. It is a mild cardiac concern w/meds though. Anyway, may I suggest moving on with your life. I hope in time you meet someone more level headed. Liz
My ex-girlfriend just told me that she is pregnant. I stopped by her house, and she has a bunch of used tampon wrappers in her trash can (she is methodical about taking out her trash, so they have to have been used within the past week or so). Also, she has taken her birth control pills up through today (I discovered). In addition, even though she is only a couple weeks late, she claims to be going in for her first ultra sound this week. I asked to go with her to the ultrasound and she said no. She told me it would be too "weird". Also, she couldn't tell me a due date yet. A good friend of mine is a nurse, and she tells me that my ex is lying to me. She has a history of mental problems, and is on daily anti-depression meds. With the problems she has (some which are pretty severe), I can't help but be concerned about her having a child right now. Add in the fact that it would be my child as well, and I am very concerned...she has actually deceived me in the past by claiming she was committing suicide (on at least 2 occasions-the second of which I ended up calling 911). With the evidence at hand, her problems, and past history with trying in desperation to keep me in her life, my thought is that she must be deceiving me. I'm interested is some more feedback...is it possible she is not lying??
Buy a hpt and make her take it right in front of you...if she wont shes more than likely lieing to you.
I agree - tell her you'll go to the dr. the next visit w/ her. I can assure you that an abortion most certainly can be done w/ a "heart condition". Especially in a younger pt., you must simply choose apropriate anesthetics and be monitored ( for ex. she may not have one in a clinic w/ just an MD, but instead can be sedated at an outpatient surgery center under the guidance of an anesthesiologist or nurse anesthetist ). Actually, at a clinic, the procedure would be done under "local" where 1) she can get a shot of Nubane or Demerol for pain/ makes her sleepy and 2) they will numb the cervix w/ lidocaine (w/out epi) which will not affect her heart. Sounds like more lies, but just know there most definitely is a way to provide a safe medical abortion.
i dont think this last guy was considering abortion, i think he just wanted to know if she was lying. he honostly sounds like he cares.
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