Avatar universal

Is she really pregnant?

Hi all, I wonder I can get some help? I have dated this girl for 6 weeks, last week i put an end to this relationship as I established she’s a psychopath (this took me some time to understand) and I called it a day. Few days later she messaged me saying she’s pregnant, however I was in shock as I was always using the pull out method (but I do know you still can get pregnant) I calmed her down and said I want proof of this, so she has a pregnancy test in the morning and it comes out negative, she then tells me I’ve had the ella one pill (contraceptive pill) and maybe it has worked. I said ok, then I just blocked her off thinking That she’s not pregnant anymore and now i have proof it’s finished, back of my mind I knew she was a psycho.

I continued that day as normal until she found out I had blocked her, she then sent me another picture holding another pregnancy test in the same afternoon which shows positive? I was so confused, she told me that I should owe up or she’s going through the legal proceedings. I was like what?

Knowing she was a psycho she started to harass me, calling my friends and finding out where I live, I wasn’t running away from the pregnancy test but her harassing towards me. A day went by where she added me on snapchat, I accepted and she told me that she needs to see me, I thought I rather find out the truth and put a nail to the coffin. I went and she told me that she wants my support and is going through a difficult time and also aborting the child, I was glad because I was getting away from a mentally sick person. I said ok, I will support you and we patched up and both agreed for abortion.

Later on I thought to myself this Doesn’t sound right so I mentioned if I can come with her when she aborts? She said no because she don’t want to put me through pain? I was like huh? I said no I want to go and support you, she said no again, and that I don’t need to worry about the abortion it’s done.

I said ok, but can I book the appointment? She said no I’ll do that too, then I said well can you book it when I’m with you? She said well you blocked me once and already that is enough stress for me I don’t want you there! But then I said well you called me for support, am I not doing that? Long story short she didn’t want me To go.

I told her that I want you to have a pregnancy test in front of me and she declined saying that don’t I trust her?

I am so confused whether this is true or not, whether she’s aborting like she said she will (as we both agreed) or she’s lying and using pregnancy as an excuse to get me back. I know she’s crazy and I just want to get out of this one way or the other. Please advise

1 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
134578 tn?1614729226
Hi, in your grandpa's generation, to get some free sex, he would have had to beg, plead and cajole. You get yours pretty much as a matter of course if you just are willing to call someone your girlfriend for a while. (Until you get tired of her and call her a psychopath.) But the price you pay for sexual access is, sometimes the woman you have been having unprotected sex with winds up telling you she is pregnant.

Given that she wouldn't take a pregnancy test in front of you, and you have not heard from her lawyer, and she is claiming she is going to have an abortion but does not want you to be there, the likelihood is that she is probably not pregnant. But just because she is playing attention-seeking games does not mean you should play passive-aggressive games back, by calling her names (unless you are Jay301, Ph.D. specializing in abnormal psychology, you have no the right to call anyone a psychopath) and pretending to "support" her when all you are really trying to do is suss out whether she is really pregnant without asking. Just man up and tell her the truth, which is that her story doesn't make sense to you, and you need proof that she is really pregnant.

A more dispassionate way to handle it, especially if you keep getting tangled up in silly discussions if you talk to her, is to go to a lawyer (or a legal-aid clinic) and get the lawyer to write a letter on your behalf. It should say, in the most humdrum legal language possible, that you have doubts she is pregnant, and that if she is, you have no proof it is your child, and that you require evidence that these are actually the facts. The lawyer should send her the letter by mail, signed-for on delivery. That should be put the kibosh on any little games if she is playing games. (Nobody likes getting letters from lawyers. And it would serve as a reminder that there are legal consequences to bringing a baby into the world.)

I assume that since the unprotected sex with her, you have been tested for all the STDs? Double-check how long STDs take to show up, and get tested in the proper time frames. And do the whole world a favor, especially you. If you want to keep having lots of sex without consequences, and since you seem to gravitate towards women who might make things up and then you not know how to deal with the consequences, remember that condoms are your best friend.
Helpful - 0
ps -- You say you have figured this out, but "the pull-out method" is not a "method" of birth control, it is just a justification guys tell themselves when they don't want to wear a condom. Women get pregnant this way all the time.

Take care, and try not to worry. Addressing this head-on should calm things, especially if you have a nice, dispassionate lawyer handle it. Some stuff is better left in the hands of people who can talk calmly and in a straightforward way because they don't have a dog in the hunt.
Thanks for you’re feedback
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the DNA / Paternity Community

Top Pregnancy Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
4769306 tn?1568490209
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.