please help

[pamsi39]

i had my period on Oct.26, 2010. i had sex with my ex bf on oct. 28, 30. and nov. 3. all unprotectected. on nov. 5th had sex with guy 2. (i was drunk) so unsure of protection. then had sex with ex on nov. 13 and 21st. was due to have period on the 23rd of nov. but didnt so i took a test and was +. i go for paternity in feb. with my ex to be sure but wanted to see if anyone could help before hand. (long story on why it has taken so long).

[AnnieBrooke]

Sounds like the answer is, it could be either guy, and you need to do that DNA test.

[pamsi39]

Thank you we go in Feb

[AnnieBrooke]

If you want to be sure, test with both guys. Go to a lab approved by the family court in your area of jurisdiction, the kind where everyone shows ID. Witness the guy doing the swab. If you need help getting the second guy to test, talk to a lawyer.

[AnnieBrooke]

If your doctor took your reported first day of last period as the start of your pregnancy time period (which is how doctors count out pregnancy), you would have been told a due date of August 2, as you were told. That's just the mechanical count like you would do on a calendar or little wheel, starting on the first day of the last period. But you would not have been told by the doctor that you were in your eighth week on December 11. He or she would have said you were about 6 weeks 4 days into your pregnancy.

So, I am trying to determine where you got the number of "8 weeks pregnant" and how you associated that with December 11. Did the actual doctor who was looking at your actual ultrasound say 8 weeks, or did you go home and figure out 8 weeks? If the doctor said you were 8 weeks pregnant on December 11, that would mean he was disregarding your report that your period began on October 26, and it would be surprising if he would tell you August 2 as a due date. A doctor might indeed tell you a number of weeks different than expected from the first day of your last period, but that would only be if he or she saw something on the ultrasound that contradicted your report of when your last period had begun, and if that had happened, he or she would probably tell you a changed due date.

So, the question is, who did the analysis that said "8 weeks," you or the doctor? And if it was the doctor, did he do so based on what he saw on the ultrasound? If he changed your count to 8 weeks based on what he saw on the ultrasound, did he also change your due date at that time?

I guess while I'm asking things, I should also ask, did the due date of August 2 come from the doctor, or was that something you worked out yourself by counting from the first day of your last period?

When the baby was born on July 24, did anyone comment about the difference between the due date of August 2 and the size and development of the baby?

After all this time has passed, it might be hard for you to remember what parts of the story the doctor said and what parts you decided yourself. What I'm saying is that  October 26 and August 2 match, but they don't mean anything if you simply worked them out by yourself some time on a conception calculator, and the "8 weeks on December 11" doesn't match them at all. The only parts of the story to use in assessing which guy is the dad are the parts that came out of the mouth of your doctor once he or she read the ultrasound. If you can't remember after all of this time what was said by the doctor once he or she looked at your ultrasound (not just based on your report of when your last period was) and what parts you figured out by yourself, there probably won't be any way to try to puzzle out which guy is the dad except the DNA test.

[pamsi39]

They gave me the date of Aug. 2 by lmp and the ultrasound supposedly confirmed it. I have a history of preterm births so I've had all my babies before my DD I had a ultrasound before I could hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks so it was in Dec. Cause I called obgyn to confirm pregnancy and they set up ultrasound not long after appt. Due to having preterm births.

[AnnieBrooke]

So you assumed it was 8 weeks because you could hear the heart beat? (And you were not told that by the doctor?) Or did the doctor tell you 8 weeks from looking at your ultrasound? If they gave you the due date of August 2 just from you telling them when your last period was, that is not going to be useful to either confirm or refute the idea that you were 8 weeks on December 11.

[pamsi39]

It was before I could hear the heartbeat when they did the ultrasound so I believe it was before 8 weeks. But I think it was more so based on my lmp for the DD of Aug. 2. I was also told seman can live like 5 days or something like that.

[AnnieBrooke]

If there is a way to puzzle this out before you get your DNA test, I really would need to know not what you "believe" and what you "suppose." It doesn't even help to have dates the doctor gave you if all they are based on is your report of when your last period began. What any analysis (that will actually help you) has to be based on is only what the doctor told you, and on what date the doctor said the thing he or she said, and on what evidence he or she told you. If the doctor looked at an ultrasound and then told you something, such as a due date, that is useful information. If the doctor heard when your last period was and then told you a due date, that is not useful information, because he or she would only be going by averages. We need to know what the doctor said once he or she took a look at the crown-to-rump measurement of the baby on December 11. Nothing else. Not your idea of what it meant.

[pamsi39]

ok i looked at my old calendar from 2010 i made a mistake on the dec. 11. i got ultrasound on dec. 23 the tech said everything measured correctly for dd of aug.2 i dont remember her measurements but tech said she measured correct to how far along i was accd. to my calendar i was 8 weeks on dec. 20.

[AnnieBrooke]

Not enough information to even speculate. Need to know -- At the time, were your periods absolutely like clockwork and came exactly every 28 days?
-- Did you have an early ultrasound in the pregnancy (approximately 6 or 7 weeks from your first day of your last period)? If so, what due date did they give you at that time, from the measurements of the embryo seen on the ultrasound?
-- Did the baby come on the due date? Does the child look like your ex?

[pamsi39]

yes periods were always every 28 days. they told me i was due aug. 2 2011 since i had a premature birth before they gave me the 17 p shots and i delivered july 24 2011. i had my first ultrasound dec.11, 2010 so i believe i was almost 8 weeks pregnant when they did the ultrasound. i see some of his looks in her but honestly she looks more like me. when i seen kid pictures of him i do see him in her. hope this helps.

[AnnieBrooke]

When they told you that you were due August 2, what did they base it on? An ultrasound? And what was the date of the ultrasound?

[pamsi39]

i told them my lmp was 10-26-10i was almost 8 weeks pregnant when they gave me an ultrasound. it was dec. 11.

[AnnieBrooke]

So, you are of the opinion that they based the estimated due date on the first day of your last period that you told them?

[AnnieBrooke]

(Because if they had told you that you were 8 weeks pregnant, it would not be based on a period that began October 26.) I am just trying to sort out what they told you from what you have worked out by yourself.