Advice and thoughts, no judging plz

[robinbankzz]

So basically my common law husband and myself were seperated for six months before i became pregnant. We didn't think that we could work anything out between us so we both moved on. Anyway fast forward to July, we decided to try and work things out but just before that i had sex with a friend July 8th, we used protection but the condom slipped off, and i had sex with my hubs July 13th, no protection. I found out i was pregnant July 22nd and since then i have seen my obgyn who put my due date at April 3rd. My last period was 26/27th of June. I've been stressing out so much lately about who may be the father. My hubs knows the truth but i haven't said anything to my friend, I'm not sure if i should even mention it, and now my hub is upset but he is still being supportive, just a little stand offish, and i just feel lost. And alone. Any thought or advice on my situation would be greatly appreciate. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of what happen but there's nothing i can do, or that's how i feel at least. Thanks for taking time to read.

[PreguntonaPensativa]

The good thing is your husband is supportive and knows. For us that our significant other doesnt or didnt know it is very stressful. I had a prenatal paternity test and it brought some peace to both of our mind (me and him) especially when the results come in our favor:).

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree with the others that it is a toss-up.  The ultrasound suggests (on the face of it) that you ovulated on the 11th, but this was not a 6 week 1 day ultrasound but an 8 week and 1 day ultrasound, and by then there is a margin for error of a day or two when using an ultrasound to try to pinpoint a conception date.  Also, sperm from guy 1 could have still been in your system (if not too lively) by the time you had sex with your husband, and your egg could last up to 36 hours before being fertilized.  Meaning, everything that points to one guy is countered by something else.

When you have a gender ultrasound it might help, though it won't prove anything -- if you google "Shettles method," you'll find an explanation that would suggest (NOT guarantee) that if the baby is a girl, it is more likely to be from the sex on the 8th, and that a baby from the sex on the 13th would more likely to be a boy, given when your possible ovulation was.  But again that would only be a suggestion and not a guarantee by any means.

You will certainly need a DNA test to confirm paternity.  I'm sorry there is not a clearer answer for you.

[robinbankzz]

Thanks again for the positive words, really help me feel better. My periods are super regular and i saw my doctor  on the 24th she measured the baby through an ultrasound and told me i was around eight weeks and one day, that's how she came up with the date but knowing my lmp it added up, just not sure when i would have ovulated and if it even matters cause the dates are so close together. I do remember feeling sick on the 9th and on the 11th i fad a couple drinks and got super drunk, thought that was kinda strange and i heard you can get drunk faster when you ovulated or are pregnant not sure really but was already feeling nauseated before sleeping ng with my hubs. Then on the 21st i had two drinks and was falling asleep that's when i thought i should take a test because it was kinda odd and i used the dollar test, came out with a very faint positive, confirming i was in fact pregnant. I'm just really going it is my hubs but gonna make the best of it no matter what happens

[AnnieBrooke]

Are your cycles super regular?  By what method did the doctor give you a due date, did he or she look on a calendar, use a little wheel, ask when your last period was, or do an ultrasound?  If it was from an ultrasound, how many weeks along did he or she say you were at the time he or she gave you the due date?

[lucybooskie]

My situation is very similar plz try to b strong, I'm trying to b strong well just wait n see what happens

[Hopeful_Momma]

Things happen, it isn't your fault. It happens more often than you think. Just relax and let it be. Your husband is great for sticking by you. You should definitely tell your friend to give him a heads up. And just enjoy your pregnancy until baby is born. Things will work out. BE positive nd happy.

[Loving4ever]

You are in the same situation as me.
But i didn't have sex with my husband. I know its the-guy-i-cheated-with's baby. :(
Its a rough situation, trying to fix it with my husband. I know how you feel.

[robinbankzz]

I would like to thank you ladies for your kind words. I'm trying very hard to not stress out but some days it's a little hard, especially with the hubs bringing it up. He had trouble understanding that I never planned for something like this to happen but I'm trying to make the best of it. I will be looking into early testing in pregnancy, never heard of this before, thanks Christina, hopefully it's not too expensive. Once again thanks for taking the time to reply ladies ☺

Do any of you think i should let my friend know about the pregnancy or just wait it ouut?

[RockRose]

With your dates,  this could truly go either way.  From the date of your last period/and your due date,  your possible dates of sex for conception are July 7 - 15,  which encompasses both possible fathers.  

Since you found out you were pregnant July 22,   it seems a little less likely it's your husband's baby because you would have only conceived 8 days prior and it would be unlikely to show up that early on a pregnancy test,  but it's possible.  

[ChristinaLink]

I recently found out there is a way to take a paternity test while the baby is still in the womb.... I know someone who actually had the test done. I hope this helps.... try not to beat yourself up about it we all make mistakes... in the end it will all work itself out.

[maw4389]

I agree with above. Wait til baby is born then do a dna test.

[JayGigi]

Try not to stress out too much on the unknown bc until the baby's born & a paternity test is done, it's still going to be unknown. Our little bundles of joy feel all of our emotions & stressing now before it can be 100% answered/addressed, you might be missing out on the little things your lil' one's doing. I'm married, threw my husband out at 3 months prego, with Trisomy #13 & #18 were up in the air for my lil' one & it's been a stressful journey, so believe me when I say "NO JUDGEMENT here & I understand!" Just try to relax for now, enjoy what you can, and deal with the unknown when you're able to actually do something about it & get a 100% answer. You got this!