Needing advice sorry tmi

[bodybuddy]

So i made a mistake in that i cheated on my soon to be husband almost 9months ago woth my ex.. I had sex with him and now im concerned that this baby isnt my fiances but i did it with my fiance on both my ovulating days and my ex was about 3 days before do you think tgis baby is my fiances or exes help please i have 4and 1/2 weeks left and im terrified

[bodybuddy]

Defiantly not!!! I honestly didnt want it to happen the first time so it wont be happening again but thank you so mich for you help and sorry if their was any confusion which im sure their was lots lol :)

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, bb, I think you are OK.  

You've put a whole lot of unnecessary importance onto the speculations of an app about when you ovulated.  But apps are only based on averages.  They also work by counting forward from the prior period, which actually means nothing about when the woman is going to ovulate again unless her cycles are exactly 28 days from period to period, without fail, like clockwork, every time.  

What really will tell you what is going on is the information from your ultrasound, but only if the ultrasound is early in the pregnancy, and only if the doctor used the ultrasound as his primary information when giving you the due date.  If the doctor just counted forward from your last period, his estimate is not too much better than an app's.  And unfortunately, you can't know how the doctor did it.  But I think most docs would let the info from the ultrasound supersede information from when your last period came if there is a big difference.

Also, your ultrasound was in your 12th week, which is a little bit late for precision.  By that time, most doctors will say there is a margin for error of +/- 7 days when trying to judge a conception date.  This is because some babies can grow faster or slower than averages.  (By your 40th week, a doc would say the margin for error when using an ultrasound for this purpose is three weeks, and in your 7th week it's only about a day.)   Since your ultrasound was in your 12th week, the margin for error goes back 7 days and forward 7 days from the estimated conception date.

Anyway, we'll assume information from your ultrasound was the basis of your due date, and the fact that they haven't changed your due date as time has gone by suggests your baby is staying within averages.  You can use the due date and count back from it 266 days.  That gives you an estimated conception date of October 25.  Minus 7 days (for the margin for error) is October 18.  Sperm from Mr. Ex would not last 9 days in your body.  

So -- I think you didn't get pregnant from the sex with your ex.  You should do a DNA test to be sure, so you won't have to sweat the question all of your child's life, but it can be a drugstore test.  If you are trying to keep this a secret from your fiance and can't bring yourself to do a test with him, at the very least do one with your ex.  

This kind of stuff is not going to happen ever again, right?  Atone by making your fiance the happiest dad in the world forever.   :)

[bodybuddy]

ill be 35 weeks on sunday and they are still going with july 17th as my due date if that helps also

[bodybuddy]

(The ex didn't do anything in me though)

[bodybuddy]

So i found that tracker i was using it says the ovulating days were the 20th- the 26th and the top peak day was the 25th of october the last day i had sex with my ex was the 9th of october or before that day not after but yes it was unprotected im stupid... I know i wasnt thinking. During the days that it says i was ovulating i had sex with my now husband on the 24th and 26th also before on the 15th and 17th..... Am i good?? Or should i be concerned???

[AnnieBrooke]

Do you have any more specific date for sex with your ex?  You said it was about three days before your "ovulating days," and you identified those as October 17 and 18; are you saying the sex with the ex was on October 14?  A 12th-week ultrasound can't be counted on for pinpoint accuracy, but it can possibly narrow things down to only about a week margin for error.  Need the dates if you have them.

[AnnieBrooke]

(And was the sex with the ex unprotected?)

[bodybuddy]

At my first ultrasound i was 12 weeks and they gave me the due daye of july 17th when i found out i was exactly one month pregnant it was a walk in clinic and the looked by my last period.

[AnnieBrooke]

At what point did you get the July 17 due date? Was it from a doctor?  If it was from a doctor, how was it computed, did he look at a calendar or little wheel, or did he look at an ultrasound of your embryo?  

You say "at exactly one month," but doctors don't count that way.  I am trying to find out when a doctor, not an app, not counting forward from your period, told you your due date.  

Did you have an ultrasound?  When was the earliest one?  At THAT ultrasound, what due date did they give you?

[bodybuddy]

Also i was using a period tracker and thats what it told me when i ovulated

[bodybuddy]

Not with him no bit i started my menstural on the 11th through the 16th and didnt find out i was pregnant until november at exactly one month

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, if you were given a July 17 due date, why do you think your ovulation date was October 17?  Were you using an ovulation test kit?

Did you have sex on July 10 with the other guy?

At what point were you given the July 17 due date, and by what method?

[bodybuddy]

My ovulating dates were october 17th and 18th im due july 17th

[bodybuddy]

How so .... Like sperm dies off after 3or 4days right? And then if i did both ovulating days does that better my chance of it being my fiancés or do nothing to that chance?

[ShannonLass]

You can tell by your dates whos the baby daddy