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Avatar universal

Is the baby mine or the other guys?

Short and to the point.  November: Feeling cramping, nauseous, and bloated (nauseous and boating wasn't everyday), cramping was everyday that came and went and felt at the same area (belly button and upper pelvic area).  Took a total of five pregnancy tests, all came out negative.  Her period only lasted for a day or two and was light so which was why I made her take the 4th and 5th test which came back negative.  This month December:  Had sex with her on the 17th and DID NOT *** inside of her at all.  She missed her period which was due on Xmas.  Gave her three tests to take and came back positive.  She later calls me to tell me that day that she slept with someone else the second week (9th) of the month.  She's has a 28 days cycle, she ovulate the second week (the week she slept with someone else), i slept with her within a week of her period is due.  I didn't *** in for sure.  He admitted to her that he might of.  Is this baby mine or his?
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Avatar universal
I will try my best!  I will keep you updated!  As of right now the appointment is on the 18th, I will like to change it between the 9th & 16th.  If anything changes I will let you know at 9pm eastern time.  I'm going to send you a brief personal message right now ok!
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
If the doctor says, "Congratulations, the ultrasound shows you are 9 weeks pregnant," one of you should ask, "Does this mean she conceived 9 weeks ago?"  Gestational-age counts given by a doctor begin two weeks before conception, so in the scene I described, the doctor would say, "No, she conceived around 7 weeks ago."  If you aren't sure you got it all straight, or in any case!, be sure to get the estimated due date, as computed from the ultrasound.

If you think you won't be able to keep this all straight, just ask your friend to tell the doc she doesn't know when her last period came.  That way it won't influence the information that comes from the ultrasound.
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Avatar universal
Well I'm going to the appointment with her.  I'm new to this, but how should I word it?  Should I say, "when did she concept?" Also, when asking for the due date should I say, "what is the estimated due date?"  Did I word it correctly?
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
I can't guess the chances, she needs the ultrasound.  As I said originally, what you've described so far suggests that if she is pregnant from you, it is from earlier (before the end of November) and if she got pregnant in December, it was from the other guy.

Please be sure she remembers to either talk to the doctor about conception using the specific word "conception," (not "how far along am I?") or better, that she ask them to give her the estimated due date based only on the ultrasound information.  That way if the late-November bleeding was not a real period, it won't affect the answer she gets.

Once she gets the estimated due date based on the embryo's crown-to-rump measurement and developmental markers, she can either count back on a calendar 266 days to get to an estimated conception date, or she can put it into an online conception calculator which will do the same thing.
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Avatar universal
Do you think the 18th is good or the 9th?
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Avatar universal
Last sex was 11/29/15 @ 1am*
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Avatar universal
She changed it to January 18th.  I'm basing it from the first week of this month.  I'm timing it from the last time we had sex (11/28/15 @ 1am).  I figured if the doctor gives any more then six weeks then it's mine.  I also want her to do it to see if she was pregnant in  November.  That month for me thrown me off with the five negative pregnancy tests and her period.  She took the 4th & 5th tests after her "period" on 11/28/15 that came back negative.

The girl told me the other guy told her that he might of slipped up in her.

What are the chances of getting pregnant the day after her cycle and not slipping and no masturbation prior of having sex?

November is the month that I am now concerned about.
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
Here is what I suggested earlier:  she should get the ultrasound in her 6th or 7th week (counted from the first day of the last period -- for now she should consider the late-November period a real period).  So, she should get the ultrasound in the first or second week of January.  

In all seriousness, this is the main time window where she can learn something from an ultrasound.  If she waits too long, the margin for error widens, and after a while it won't indicate one person over the other very clearly.  But right now it should.

Be sure she tells the doc she is interested in the conception date, or at least tells the doc not to use the first day of her last period to time the pregnancy but to use instead the measurements of the embryo.

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Avatar universal
I'm trying to have her to schedule sooner.  How soon do you think?  
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
The ultrasound will be two weeks from the 20th of January?  Meaning, February 3?  Is there any possibility she can get the ultrasound sooner?
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Avatar universal
She is also 36 years old.  
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Avatar universal
A few days ago she says 28 day cycle, today she said 26.  A two day period is normal for her and isn't heavy.  

October:  Had sex with her two weeks before her October period (10/30-10/31) and the day right after (11/1/15).  After having sex with her on 11/1/15, she cleaned up and then sat on her bed and told me she's still cramping.

November:  She have been cramping everyday around the belly button and upper pelvic area that comes and goes throughout the day, feeling nauseous and bloated that come and goes, but was not everyday like her cramping.  She had taken three pregnancy tests before her period that was due on the 26th.  All the came back negative.  When she got her period she stated that it was for a half day and was more brownish then red.  I went to her place with two more tests on the 28th and both came back negative.  We only had sex 11/1/15 and on 11/28/15.  All five pregnancy tests were negative and in the morning hours.  The two after her period was her 2nd or 3rd urine.

December:  I only had sex with her on 12/17/15 at around 4:30pm.  She was due for her period on the 24th  and didn't get it.  Went to her place on the 26th with three tests that were all taken that day at the same time and all came back positive.  She took one today (12/28/15) at her doctors appointment at around 12pm and it came back positive as well.  She later told me that she slept with someone else on 12/9/15 and that after speaking with him he told her that he might of slipped up a little.

11/1/15, 11/28/15, 11/17/15 I didn't masturbate before having sex with her.  And if I did I always made sure that I urinate before having sex again.  But I doubt that I masturbated those days.  

As of right now my concern is the month of November with her feeling the way she was and the period she experienced with have all five pregnancy tests negative.  We only had sex twice and that is the day right after her period and on the 29th the day after her "period.". Also, she took the 4th & 4th tests on the 28th in the morning, I had sex with her on the 29th at 1am and no I was not drinking that day.

I said two weeks prior her period because I thought women ovulate 12-14 days prior from there period?

She made an appointment for blood work on the 1/20/16 and a ultrasound two weeks from the 20th.

She is always stressed and at times gets depressed.  
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
If she is able to get an ultrasound (and from it an estimated due date), she can take the due date home, and either count back manually 266 days on a calendar to come up with an estimated conception date, or else she can put it into an online conception calculator.  She should be sure to ask for an estimated due date, not just a "weeks pregnant" figure, when she gets the ultrasound.  And she should get the ultrasound in her 6th or 7th week (counted from the first day of the last period, which for now she should consider the late November period a period).  So, she should get the ultrasound in the first or second week of January.  Later ultrasounds are not so good for trying to determine a conception date, because some babies grow faster and some grow slower than average -- later ultrasounds can be up to three weeks off.  But 6th and 7th week ultrasounds can be pretty helpful.
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134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, let's see if this can be made a little more specific.  Please fill in the information where I've asked a question.

You said the woman in this story had a one- or two-day period, when was that? November 27-28?
and that around that time she got negatives on pregnancy tests.  Do you know what time of day she took the tests?

You and she then had sex on November 29.

She says she had sex December 9; he might not have pulled out.

You said she "ovulate the second week;" how does she know for sure, was she using an ovulation test kit?

You had sex with her December 17 and pulled out.

She has a 28-day cycle -- is this like clockwork every 28 days or does it vary?

You said her December period was due "within a week of" December 17, and later said it was due on Christmas, and it has not come.

She has tested positive three times.  Did she take the first test on December 25 or was it later?

______

It is possible to get a negative on a pregnancy test when you are pregnant.  I assume that her one- to two-day period in late November (if that is when it was) was unusually short for her?  Early negative pregnancy tests don't rule out pregnancy for sure, though since she did five tests, they are more strongly suggestive than if she had only taken one.

It would be a unusual but not impossible for sex on the 17th to produce a positive on a pregnancy test on the 25th, (if that is when she took the first one that came up positive).  If she took the first test on the 26th or even the 27th, it would be less conclusive against you being the dad, because it would be more in the range where a pregnancy test would show a correct answer.  But if the first positive test was on the 25th, eight days after you and she had sex, it suggests (but does not prove) that the sex on the 17th was not what got her pregnant.

Pulling out does not prevent pregnancy, since sperm can hang around in a guy's urethra for a while without dying.  It would help if you could remember if you had recently masturbated (or had sex with someone else) before having sex with her the time you pulled out -- if so, sperm could have been in your pre-ejaculatory fluid.

Without any further information about how regular her cycles are and why she is sure she ovulated in the second week of December, what you've described so far suggests that if she is pregnant from you, it is from earlier (before the end of November when she had the odd period) and if she got pregnant in December, it was from the other guy.

My strong suggestion is that she should go to the doctor's in about two weeks and get an ultrasound.  She should tell them she had a wonky period in November, so she really wants them to tell her the estimated due date of the baby based only on her ultrasound only and not on the first day of her last period -- on the crown-to-rump measurement of the baby and its developmental markers.  It would be hard (but not impossible) to split the difference between December 9th and  17th by an ultrasound examination of the size of the embryo, but it would be pretty easy if the baby was actually conceived in November to tell it was not conceived in December.

Please keep in mind that when a doctor says "Congratulations!  You are 8 weeks pregnant!" he or she means 6 weeks since conception.  Doctors count from the first day of the last period, when counting "weeks pregnant," even though the woman is not pregnant on day 1 of her period.  That's just the way the medical count is done.  So don't freak if the doctor says that.  She should just come back with, "Do you mean 8 weeks ago is when I conceived?" using the specific word 'conceived,' and the doctor should say, "No, you would have conceived 6 weeks ago."  Gotta speak doctorese in order to understand.


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Avatar universal
I slept with her on 11/29/15 after her period was over 12/17/15. I didn't know about the other guy or the pregnancy until she came up positive then she told me about the other guy.  Wasn't drunk when having sex and I pulled out on time for sure.
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