Prenatal paternity test..what should I do

[JMC1]

I'm currently 24weeks pregnant. I had a miscarriage in July 2015. I found out in late July that my fiancé (now husband) had cheated on me. I was angry at him, at myself and especially at my family for telling me to forgive him. Not being able to think straight during that period of time, I had sex once with a friend of mine on the 17th of September, we did use a condom. My fiance has never used a condom and he has always ejaculated inside of my post-miscarriage (I was told I'd be 3-6months infertile) I don't know the exact dates when my fiancé and I had sex, but I can't calculate my date of ovulation.

I'm a worry wart, so I took a prenantal paternity test with EasyDNA  with my friend when I was about 13-14weeks gestational. The results tested against my friend being the father(which is great news of course) but just last week I started worrying all over again with so many WHAT IFs popping up in my head I completely broke down. My now-husband does not know about this and I really do wish to tell him because I don't want any secrets between us. My brother however told me not to and that the paternity test should already grant me a guilt free pass. I don't wish to carry this stress throughout the remaining of my pregnancy. I thought the prenantal paternity test would be good enough of an assurance to tell me who's the father, but now I worry about how accurate is it, did they mix up the blood samples? Could my previous miscarriage affect the cell free fetal DNA analysis? What should I do!

[AnnieBrooke]

typo -- carrying the load, not "carrying the"

[AnnieBrooke]

My suggestion would be to talk to a counselor or therapist about the situation before you unburden yourself by dumping this on your husband.  If you want to shoot his trust in you forever and his love for the baby, tell him.  But generally, the impulse to tell is not about "I don't want there to be any secrets between us" in a noble way but is more that "I don't want to have to carry this guilty secret around any more."  In short, from just not wanting to keep carrying the on a topic that bothers you, especially if you are still somewhat mad at him for cheating.  If you want a lifetime relationship with him and him being a happy dad to your child, you're going to have to carry the burden of your behavior alone.  But if you're thinking it's pretty much over anyway, just tell him that, without adding the slap in the face of telling him you slept with someone else.  

[JMC1]

EasyDNA doesn't have that many consumer reports (set up 1-2years ago here in Singapore) but they seem to have a pretty reliable presence in the UK and Australia with way more consumer reviews. I guess it's just the nerves that are bringing out the WHAT IFs and paranoia.

[JMC1]

EasyDNA doesn't have detailed consumer Reports in Singapore(they were only set up 1-2yearsago over here) but more reviews from  UK and Australian users. They seem to be pretty established over in those two countries. Yes, I think it's more of the nerves that causes all the WHAT IFs and paranoia

[JMC1]

I'm not from the US, so Ravgen and DDC aren't really options. EasyDNA uses the same technology of analyzing cell free fetal DNA, they took blood samples from me and my friend.judging from the forum, Ravgen and DDC seem to be popular choices.  I don't have that many options over here so maybe I'll just have to come clean with my husband

[AnnieBrooke]

I believe one or both of those labs have relationships with labs all over the world.  But your test might be just as accurate -- have you looked up consumer reports on the lab you used?  If you are satisfied with their reputation, I am not sure why you would think the test is wrong besides just nerves.  

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, I don't know what to suggest.  Your due date indicates conception on September 20, which doesn't rule out your fling, and since you don't know when you slept with your boyfriend it doesn't rule him in or out either.  If you had unlimited funds and wanted to know before the baby comes, I would suggest you test again, with Ravgen or the DDC.  But if you don't, you're just going to have to wait and test again once the baby comes, to rule out the guy who wore the condom once and for all.

[JMC1]

Hi Annie, I'm due on the 12th of june. My obgyn did a manual calculation and an ultrasound. I believe I was about 6-8 weeks into my pregnancy then.
I actually found out I was pregnant 1-2weeks after conception which dates to first week of October. I took a digital test and it said Pregnant 1-2 weeks

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, JMC, what is your due date, and how did you get it?  (Was it from an ultrasound?  If so, how early in your pregnancy was that?)

[JMC1]

My LMP was 4th sept to the 8th sept. I've never really had irregular periods so I calculated my ovulation date to be between 22-24th sept?