paternity

[JereeW]

had sex on the 20th of May with my boyfriend and then on the 26th of May I had sex with my ex... but the calendar on my phone is saying that I conceived on the 24th how is this possible please explain anyone

[AnnieBrooke]

I don't know how much this problem happens in the whole world, but by coming to the DNA/Paternity forum, you are in the one place where it happens all the time, so don't be embarrassed.  What we need is as much medical information (not speculation, not hopes, not guesses, not assumptions and not shading the truth to sound better) as it is possible to get as early as it is possible to get it.  If you get a good, early and clear ultrasound and they give you an estimated due date based on the measurements of the embryo, there is the chance that it might help you to rule one of the guys out.  Write back when you get the estimated due date, and we will see if it helps you narrow things down.

Annie

[JereeW]

Ok I definitely will let you know...this is very embarrassing

[AnnieBrooke]

Write back and we can parse the information they give you.  Be sure to ask for the estimated due date based on the measurements of the embryo and its developmental markers, not on your self report of when your last period was.  

[JereeW]

Thanks so much for that I.formation I really appreciate it and I was a bit confused when they use the LDM because while on my period I never had sextthat's what threw me off I'm scheduled for an ultrasound on the 16th of this month..

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, first of all, nothing says a calendar on a phone is going to be correct.  :)  But let's say it is right for just the purposes of this conversation.  It could be accurate because your boyfriend's sperm would have been in your system since the 20th of May.  (I am assuming you are saying the sex with your boyfriend and the sex with your ex were both unprotected.)

Research says sperm can last 5 or 6 days in your system, (though some other research says by the 6th day it is not very lively).  If you had sex on the 20th and popped out an egg on the 24th, live sperm could have been in your tube waiting for it.

That said, you had sex only 6 days apart.  That is not a very wide margin, and if you have no other indicators of when you got pregnant, an app on a phone is not going to be very helpful to tell you when you actually did ovulate, certainly not helpful enough to split the difference between May 20 and May 26 with accuracy.  If you don't act fast to get an ultrasound, it is possible that you will not be able to tell with certainty who the dad is until you have the baby and get a DNA test.  And you might not even be able to tell even with an ultrasound's help, though that is the best way to tell at this point.

The way to figure things out as closely as possible is to get in to the ob-gyn (not the ER) right away for an ultrasound.  Do this, seriously, this week if you can.  Tell them you are not sure of the first day of your last period (so your report of that date won't color the information they give you) and ask how many weeks gestational age the pregnancy is, and especially when your due date is.  From your estimated due date, you can either use an online calculator to work out an assumed conception date, or just count back 266 days on a calendar.

Keep in mind that when the doctor or nurse says something like "You are 8 weeks 4 days," he or she means you are 8w4d from the presumed first day of your period, which is when they begin the pregnancy clock.  You would be 6w4d from the assumed date of conception, in that example, because ovulation happens a couple of weeks after the first day of the last period.

But get the ultrasound soon.  Later ultrasounds are useless for dating pregnancy finely enough to tell the difference between a guy on May 20 and one on May 26.