dental health

[Jaquta]

I was just wondering about my teeth.  I've read previous posts here and have had a previous question answered.  I perceive you as being sensitive to us and our needs.
Just generally issues with my teeth seem to dump me into a severe suicidal crisis.  I understand the emotional content needs to be discussed with a psychotherapist, etc.
My current concerns are about eroded teeth near the gum line due to brushing too hard, too often, etc and binge eating (often sugary stuff, etc) to compensate for the anxiety (relating to my teeth, etc).
Is that eroded part likely to get worse?  Are there things I can do to better protect my teeth?  My fear is that one day I will need dentures.  I would absolutely hate for this to happen.  The worst part would be losing my teeth.
My goal is to better manage my anxiety and therefore diet.  It's complex.  My teeth and health are suffering.
Do you have any dental tips or advice that may help me?  Any would be greatly appreciated.

[Jaquta]

Last November I think.  The same time I had my lower wisdom extracted.
My next check-up isn't til June.

I wasn't meaning to encroach on your forum.  I felt comfortable taking about dry sockets.  I should have stayed away from oral cancer though.

I joined some yahoo health groups several years ago but they weren't very supportive to me in my recovery at that time.
I was posting regularly on the mental health and emotional eating expert forums and occasionally several others but ... I don't know.  I guess there are reasons why I backed off and now I just feel tired and disconnected.  Before I use to be quite open, now my posts just seem terse or abrasive and not really all that together.

My GP's son featured in the weekend paper and that has triggered me.
I hate being confronted by the losses in my life.

I was wondering about going and living with my younger sister.  That would put me in another district with better services.  There could be work available there too.  ??
My brother has just gotten back from his oe and bought a house.  He would be happy to have anyone down to help him renovate it.

Nothing feels like it is in my best interest.  Options feel like they are taking me too far away from myself.

My parents are going away for several weeks in a couple of weeks (to see my other brother and sister) and have asked me to manage their farm for them while they're away.  I don't expect that will go too well.  Although hopefully it will.

I'll see what my GP says next week if I even bother to keep my appointment.  At this time there seems no point.
I think I talk to others so that I don't have to listen to myself.

I'll yet you know what, if anything, I decide later.

[Jerome Tsang, DDS]

Sometimes there's sensitivity after a tooth has been filled.  I'm assuming yours has been done awhile back though.  You may want to get it checked out.  

I've been reading your comments in the forum and I had a realization. If you aren't able to find a support group locally in your area, I wonder if there's a way to find some type of online support group in a forum setting, something similar to this website.

[Jaquta]

Thanks!  I had a rough night but in the end decided that instead of hoarding the sleep meds my GP gave me that I should actually take one and get a good nights sleep (without stressing about everything).  The temptation is high but I'm concerned about long-term effects and damage.  I can't afford to lose more neurons.

I was just wondering after reading your response to another member.  Is pain after having a tooth filled bad?  I'm not sure if the pain was from flossing or from stressing and running my fingernail between my teeth (which I figured I should stop doing).
I'm a bit paranoid it is infected now.  Should it hurt after being filled though?

Thanks for all your support and advice.

[Jerome Tsang, DDS]

I read "Who Moved My Cheese?" and it was quite a quick and easy read overall.  I think the names got me a little confused at times but I understood the general lesson from the story.  Obviously you take what you will from reading as everything is subject to interpretation and application in your life but I hope that it helps and provides some insight or inspiration.

Yes, it would make sense that our primary concern should be your primary concern but that isn't always the case.  There's a saying that people buy what they want, not what they need.  I suppose in dentistry, it can be somewhat true.  Sometimes patients are more concern with whitening and bleaching than they are with treating their cavities.  Its interesting and I wouldn't say its ALL patients but there are a few here and there that do that.  

I suppose the frustration comes from expectations, which is what you discussed earlier.  I am a perfectionist with my work but not with my life.  I've had to learn to live with "best I could do" instead of getting it perfect everytime because each situation is different and sometimes you can't get it perfect no matter what due to circumstances.  

Well, it sounds like you're doing a little better today.  I hope that the book provides some insight.  

[Jaquta]

But those individual differences are what makes life unique.  Imagine how bored you would become if every patient were the same.  I think the lack of difference and therefore challenge could become quite monotonous.
Does that maddening feeling appear when things are different to how you want or expect them to be?  Because you personally are being tested or restricted??

Your job sounds exhausting.  
My GP often says that the counselling is the most demanding aspect.  A dentist would spend a lot of time reassuring too, wouldn't they?  I guess some people do that naturally by having strong personal boundaries and by exuding an air of confidence.

It almost sounds as though you are frustrated by those differences sometimes.  I feel I might be missing an important point.  It seems important to you.
Maybe it is amazement at our 'giftedness'??  Maybe the problem is that sometimes those differences prevent you from achieving a self-imposed standard??

We all have different experiences and different values and beliefs.
Our basic needs are generally all the same.  Emotional needs vary.

I agree to a certain extent (because it is us living our life) but I think health professionals also need to lead and show good judgment.
Wouldn't our primary concern be secondary to any significant health issue?  Wouldn't it be your responsibility as a clinician to address that?
I guess it would still be important for you to validate our concern before you address yours.  And also physical needs are slightly different to emotional needs.
It's all a bit confusing.  For the most part listening to the client is good business.  Like that saying that the customer is always right.  (Which is especially true if you are in private practice.)

I think that if a doctor truly understood (the complexities of a patient's history, etc) that they wouldn't be so quick to judge.
I think sometimes that it is easy to overlook where a person is at in their life which can affect how a person deals with situations.
It almost sounds a little narcissistic to tell people to fix themselves.  I accept that it would be easy to do for a person in a position of power and security in that aspect of their life.  It's easy enough for someone who doesn't understand the situation to over-simplify the process.  We all have our own strengths and weaknesses.

I think due to my mh issues that I don't really have access to many perspectives.  I am only now starting to learn that others perceive the world very differently to me.  Being aware of that has helped me try to understand things from different perspectives and to try to be open to different realities or possibilities.
You could almost be the doctor on the mental health expert forum.  He suggests keeping things in perspective and focusing on reality.  Working on solutions to problems and not just dwelling on problems.

You sound like you could be a bit of a perfectionist.  Success can be measured in all sorts of different ways.  Some people are more flexible with their definition of success. My definition of success would be to score 100% in everything, not make any mistakes, etc.  It's easy to see why my life isn't working for me.  I sometimes overlook the fact you need to learn to walk before you can run.

I am learning to listen to what failure is teaching me.  Before I just use to associate it with shame, embarrassment and humiliation.  Those negative emotions kept me feeling stuck and powerless.

Being open to a degree is useful but you also need to support what you are learning with action.  Maybe I am not as receptive as I think I am.  Openness should carry through to ?acceptance, insights and change.  Maybe I aren't as open to change meaning that I block it at an action level.  But I guess that action is blocked by overwhelming negative emotions.  This is kind of interesting and is a new way for me to approach my resistance to change.

What you say makes perfect sense.  I will check out our library for a copy of the book but I expect they won't have it.  Why do I do that?  I am so pessimistic and mistrusting.  (I was beaten when I was younger so that could explain my negativity and lack of trust.)  It does sound like it could be helpful.
I read Spencer Johnson's book, The Precious Present.  I thought that was enlightening and sums up things/ life very well.

I'm hopeless when it comes to reading.  I struggle with motivation and concentration and get frustrated and lose interest.  I have regressed back to reading Mills and Boon medical romances.  While some can be educational about medicine and relationships it's pretty sad.

Good luck with the reading and dealing with different patients.

[Jerome Tsang, DDS]

I definitely agree with you on the process of healing.  Its definitely different for everyone and everyone has their own pace and process of how it happens.  Its actually quite maddening sometimes cause working on people, we're all just quite different.  Yes, the dentistry is generally the same but how you treat people and how you intereact with them can be night and day as you go from patient to patient.  

I guess everyone needs something different and is concerned with particular things.  In dental school, we were taught that the most important thing to being a good doctor is to listen to your patient and address their chief concern.  Don't worry about what you think is the biggest concern cause it won't matter to them as much as what they're most concerned about.  I hope that your doctor remembers that lesson from his schooling.  I try to remind myself of it everyday.  It can be "tempting" (not sure if that's the right word) to lecture from a pedestal as a doctor and tell patients to fix themselves.  

I always try to look at life from all perspectives.  I try to see it from all angles.  I hope you do too.  And I think I mentioned it before, I try to focus on things I can do to make it better, not on the bad things that are there.  By taking a more proactive approach, I think it does make you feel more empowered and it gives you a plan of action.  I think another hard thing (for me anyways) is to measure your success.  

On the flip side, while success does help, failure does too.  (Again with the seeing things from all angles).  Failure teaches you alot about yourself too.  I think that by keeping an open mind, you can only improve yourself and that, in itself, is success.

I think my train of thought may be a little confusing.  I haven't personally read "Peaks and Valleys" by Spencer Johnson MD.  I was planning too but from what I've read on the back cover, it sounds like it might be helpful for you.  It talks about the ups and downs of life in a story format and about changing your perspective to help you to more "peaks" and get through the "valleys" faster.  

If you do read it, let me know how you like or don't like it.  I am planning on reading it but I got about 8-9 more books I want to finish first.