Devastation

[ValerieSue]

I have been depressed (this time) due to a change in medication for around 6 weeks. My husband asked what would help and I said 'death'. He carried on asking what medication I have, how many would I take etc. He even said that he would sit with me while I took them.
I do feel suicidal because I am so desperate to feel better, but I don't think I would actually do it because I am too scared.
I am even more upset now to think that my husband is supporting me to kill myself

[nursegirl6572]

Are you SURE you understood him properly?  Are you sure he didn't mean that he would sit with you while you took your regular dose?  If you're not sure, I would get clarification as to what he meant ASAP.  If he indeed was being "supportive" of thoughts to harm yourself, that needs addressed IMMEDIATELY.  

You would have to determine if he's just totally clueless about how to handle this and desperate for the right thing to say...or if he was being cold and calculating.  If the latter, you have some thinking to do, and I would recommend putting some serious distance between yourself anf him, as if he somehow "agrees" with a suicide attempt, he is going to sabotage your treatment.

How is he normally?  How is your relationship?  Is he good to you? Abusive?  Does he abuse drugs or alcohol?  Is there any part of the picture that you haven't shared with us that is pertinent?

I'm VERY concerned about you in this situation.  While I wouldn't jump to too many conclusions, you definitely need to get to the bottom of this, and do something if indeed he was saying he would support you harming yourself.

PLEASE post and let us know what's going on, okay?  It goes without saying, if at any time you feel you are a danger to yourself, or he is a danger to you, seek help IMMEDIATELY, call 911 if you have to.

[ValerieSue]

Thank you for your reply

[thatquietgirl]

If you feel you are a danger to yourself, don't hesitate to call your country's emergency number and get yourself checked into at least an overnight stay and then an intensive outpatient program or an in-patient program depending what the doctor you speak with determines.

Your husband is NOT a good person to be around right now, so you need to get yourself somewhere else even if you don't call emergency services.  Be honest with the people you stay with if you go this route and explain what you need from them.  Even if your husband is hoping you'll tell him so he can get you help rather than actually being as bad as he is making himself sound with those words, you need to get away and look out for yourself.  Get to a safe place with people who will monitor you without being overbearing and get some help as soon as possible.

Things can get better.