M4you

[Dreamcatcher01]

Thanks for your reply
You would think the crying would be easy. I do feel I have to be strong for everyone and I think it is a skil I have learnt  to protect my children so that they don't me upset and to get things done . I'm on medication , I take 45mg mirtzapine at night before going to bed . I used to go to bed try to sleep , my mind would be racing , anxiuos feelings . I'm usualy up early for , say about 5 am but I would wake up about 3 am with sweat running down my legs , wide anxious feelings  but yet my head gave me an empty sensations and like the sound of silence , like a hum realy , it's not a nice feeling realy ( horrible ) . The rest of the day I would feel anxious , depressed and tired .

[M4Y0U]

It's a good coincidence that you take mirtzapine, I'm currently tapering it. Mirtzapine is an extremely good antidepressant in it's nature to numb your feelings and I think it's too much and you end up being a not emotive train wreak.

Mirtazapine is an extremely potent antagonist at the various 5-HT receptors (serotonin) hence numbing your feelings considerably. Also due to it's hypnotic and sedative nature (powerful H1 receptor antagonist) it will put you to sleep but you can end up being really tired in the day.

That being said I think we have our finger on something there but its not the only thing we can point out.

Yes men are raised to be tough man, with the mentality and crying is for women, this might contribute to your repressed emotions. Like I said too much repression can lead to psychological distress. This is why I suggested to you to take some time after you day to think about all you did, what you liked, what you didn't, what you can improve, what you are doing great). The daily introspective review could be very useful and is suggested by many psychologists.

I'm not in a position to tell you to change you current medication and what to get but I can give you some advices but I would like to know if you have any history with previous antidepressants first.

Thanks for you post,
M4

[MiuMau]

Then I`d suggest you talk to your doctor and consider a change in medication, cause this obviously isn`t doing the trick! If something isn`t working there are always better options that could help you through the day!

No worries, I`m glad I can help! :)
Stay strong!