I had previously posted this question of the Teen Depression forum, but I was that many of the questions there lacked responses, thus, why I'm also posting my question here. So for the second time, I'll try to keep it simple:
I surely hope this is nothing and I'm just overthinking it, but I'd like to like to have an outside party evaluate me to see if anything is bothersome about my behavior, or is there is a conclusion I can come to. My name is Millie, I'm 15, and I've been previously diagnosed with depression, ADHD/ADD, and generalized anxiety. I was diagnosed with all of this after a few "freak out" sessions where I would yell and cry in emotional rage. I was also becoming very depressive at the time, resulting in bouts of self-harm and suicide attempts. I was hospitalized in an institution twice, and that's where I was diagnosed. They put me on antidepressants and let me tell you.... that **** does NOT work. My condition became worse; my eating habits widely fluctuated, I was self-harming more, and I lost contact in reality (in the sense that I couldn't accurately recall events). Even my focus was at the worst it had ever been. Of course, I tried to hide all this from my parents. I didn't want to make their lives worse than I had already made them. Anyways, fast forward to present day and I've been off the meds for about a year. My mood shifts have been better, but I still don't feel "good". Despite taking ADD/ADHD meds, I still can't seem to focus often. To put things short, I'm basically a circumstantial, indecisive mess. Also, I'm not sure if this will help, but here's extra info about me in case it does.
- I have a very high IQ
- I was left to live alone with only one of my parents for an entire year
- I have absolutely DREADFUL sleep habits (I usually only get 2-3 hours a sleep, but that's happened every since I was little)
- I'm very active and have relatively good physical health (except my asthma)
- My depressive moods and anger are the worst of my symptoms
- I can be extremely hyperactive and goofy to the point where I'm making a fool of myself
- Socially awkward
Thank you to anyone who can help me.