Depressed after 1st childbirth

[Nilmini]

My problem is regarding my first childbirth. I got myself admitted to the Maternity Ward on 13th March?2008 at 7.00a.m because my waters broke. I was starving at that time since I hadn?t eaten anything since last night. The doctors and nurses instructed me not to eat anything. I had to wait for about 7 hours in the Ward since the Labour Room was full and I had to wait till a bed was free. All my clothes were drenched with sticky substance. When I was taken to the Labour Room(at about 2.00p.m.), it was like a slaughterhouse. There were about ten women in the Labour Room. The women inside were screaming at the top of their voices with labor pains. The lady next to my bed was screaming and wriggling with pain.  I got frightened to death since it was my first child birth and I wasn’t aware that child birth is a extremely painful process.  I was given some medicine through saline to induce labour pains but I didn’t get any pains. I was fully conscious and witnessed everything that happened in the Labour Room(how babies delivered and how the vagina was sutured after the delivery). I was in the Labour Room for about 8 hours(fully conscious). Since there was no progress, the doctors decided to deliver my baby via a cesarean section and I was taken to the Operating theatre and took the baby out. It was a baby girl. After that I was sent back to the Ward. I was shivering very badly. When the anesthesia waned (after about 15 minutes I was sent to the ward) and the pain returned I started screaming with pain. It was extremely excruciating. The nurses scolded me since I was screaming. I was given some saline but not any pain relief. I was so thirsty and hungry since I hadn’t eaten the hole day. I couldn’t even move in the bed. Every move was very painful. The pain was unbearable.  I had to stay with the raw wound for about twelve hours and then a nurse came and said the rectal pain relief given to the patients who had cesarean sections were not available and told my husband to buy from outside. I had to wait till my husband went to the pharmacy and brought the pain relief medicine. Now I am having psychological problems. No matter how hard  I try to forget this horrible traumatic incident I cannot do it. It keeps replaying in my mind (the pain I went through and women who were screaming with pain in the Labour Room). It’s a nightmare that keeps reverting to my mind. I have lost interest in everything. I don’t dress nicely now, I have spoiled my relationship with my husband. I get irritated very easily. My family life is going to fall apart. I feel like committing suicide. My husband wants a second child. I can’t even bear the thought of having another child and going through that same traumatic experience again. It dreads me to the death. When I think that my daughter too will one day go through this experience I feel faintish and feel like I am going to die. Every day I cry deep within. I have become tearful and moody. Everyday I am suffering from bad headaches. I am depressed. I am living life just for the sake of living. I feel I am worthless. I have the strongest idea of ending my life. But what about my husband and innocent daughter?  I feel very sorry for my husband.  He is suffering because of me. Please help me. Please let me know what I should do. Now I can’t stand the sight of pregnant women( I get scared when I see them).  I try to avoid pregnant women. Why only women have to go through such painful process? Isn’t there a pain free way to have a baby?

[jo929]

Yes i would say you had a rough time, and i can see how that it would bother you. have you talked with a therapist or a group where people share their problems, you really need to see a Dr if you are that depressed, but i really do not believe that this is all caused by chilbirth, i do know that you are thinking about it constantly, but all new mothers go through a depression, but they do get over this do you work, you need to keep your mind and body active it helps depression, i hope that i do not offend you, but you have a nice family, and you have a problem, in a group after a time then they decide they are going to take their life back and let the past go, so they find someplace a chair a drawer and they each if they are ready go and say i have greived and i am now ready to let the past go and live for tomorrow, and i am leaving these problems here in the past and am moving forward I know that you are depressed, but you keep these thoughts in your mind, and you are leting the demons so to speak rule your life, it is time to either take your life back and be in control instead of letting them rule you a good idea is to type this post just like you posted here and take it to the hospital administrator and hand it to her and say i have suffered enough and am leaving the past here and moving forward, but i do hope you can change things here so that others can have their babies without going through all of this    lots of luck  jo remember if you cant do this go to the dr ot therapist

[therese83]

That was a very rough experience. I have had four children in different countires and never heard of women all giving birth in one room together.  Childbirth was a very positive natural experience for me.

You probably need counselling after that, it is more common to have postnatal depression after a trauma or an emergency cesarian.  So you may need treatment for depression.

[John_jb1]

Hello,

Ok, well obviously I've not been through such an experience as I am male. But I do know how easy depression is to get after child birth.

I'd say go to the doctors, they could prescribe possible anti depressants or something just clear your mind. They will also get you a good,reccomended psycologist/counsellor. I'd say go asap.

Now there is a little trick to stressful situations, that when you know you're about to explode with rage or sorrow. I call it the repress trick, you think of a simple but serious word. Such as "repress", you say it in your mind calmly, and serious, and then concentrate on your breathing and heart rate.

If you feel you're just about to stress out, do the repress trick, walk away from the situation, and continue with a calm hobby, watch TV. But make sure it's something simple, as we want to push away the adrenaline (fight or flight hormone).

Another thing that sometimes is reccomended, is to excersize. As this releases endorphines, which is the hormone that makes us happy. I would say, if you're feeling down, or frustrated, go out for a walk/jog/cycle, or something on those lines.

Thanks, and good luck.

- John -