Depressed also because 3 lost in 1 year...

[Muguette]

İ lost my father last year, he had a heard attack. İt was a real shock he was 61 and healthy, active...
Than i lost my grantmother and grantfather within 1 month.
My grantmother was more than a mother for me. İ loved her so much... We had our contact via phone since she was in Germany and i in Turkey. Yes she was old and sick, i know but it's so hard without her.... We was the only person who really loved me.... And the worst part is that my mother agreed to burn her body! İ can't get over this. İ know it meens nothing but i know my grandmother didn't wanted it. So im angry and feel so bad about this....
As my grandfather (my fathers father) died i felt that my father is now more death? Thats also very strange and sad...
Last month i was in Germany for a work trip. Normally i was feeling ao good there (at home and happy) but this time all the good feelings were gone! After that trip i felt in a deep depression althow i was on meds...... İts so hard...

[juliarn9]

try to do some relaxation exercises.  this time depression is perfectly normal remember that the meds are to keep you balanced not to stop the grieving process.  I know it is hard and it seems to take forever to begin to heal.  my father died of a massive heart attack at age 56 and that was in 1999 and i still miss him so much and feel like it was only a month ago.  hang in there. and remember the good memories

[nursegirl6572]

Well, it's completely understandable that you would be feeling depressed!  That's an awful lot of loss to experience in such a short time!  Have you ever had trouble with depression prior to this?  You said you're on meds..what do you take, and how long have you been on them?

My advice is to seek out some therapy to help you sort through these feelings.  The grief process takes a while, and everyone handles loss differently.  Because you lost so many people in a short time, you are probably still struggling with the active stages of grief.  Especially a sudden death like your father's, that probably had a big impact!  Don't pressure yourself, or think you should be feeling "better" than you are.  It takes time, and you are grieving for three people!

As for the cremation, I totally understand that that would be upsetting to you.  My Dad has in his will that he wants to be cremated, and I don't like the idea much myself.  My Dad made me feel better about it, explaining that, our bodies are just a shell, and after death, the "person" we all knew and loved isn't there anymore.  It made sense to me.  

You also have to think of it in terms that your grandmother would have understood that your Mom was in the position to have to make the decisions.  Also, think of it like this...if your Gram was adamant that she DIDN'T want that, she would have been very specific to write out her final wishes in her will, or other document.  Your Mom had to make the decisions she did based on a lot of factors, including financial considerations.  For people who may not have a whole lot of money, cremation is more affordable.  Your gram would understand that your Mom had to do what was best at the time.  

Please consider getting some therapy so you can start working through these issues.  Also, if you've been on this medication regimen for a while, you may need a change.  If that's the case, discuss how you're feeling with your doctor.

I'm so sorry for all of your losses.  I hope you find some peace soon.