Depression and getting older

[kabs8]

Does anyone wish your life to be over instead of getting older?  That's exactly how I feel, but I'm afraid to end my life myself.  I just sit here and wish I was gone.  I don't see any benefit of getting older.  I'm 54, will be 55 in August.  I'm married but have no children of my own.  I do believe if my husband were to die, I then could end my life.  I'm not afraid of living on my own as I did it for several years before we married, I just don't want to grow old alone.  I do have some friends but my death is more important than them at this point.  I still have a good job, no major health problems, just depression and anxiety and the wish to die.  

[pearlymae]

I can't offer any good suggestions,being in the same boat only worse.I have no family,no friends,no husband or partner and no children,no brothers or sisters.
I know some of it has been my fault but some just bad circumstances.My mother was a bit crazy-very demanding and selfish,afraid to let me go.She got Alzhiemer's at the end and died .I have a father who might still be alive but he won't see me or talk to me.Now I'm totally alone.I'm almost 60 years old.
I'm trying not to fall apart and  go under.I'm really going to fight  and I think you should too.
What I'm trying to tell you is-it could be worse.You sound like you have many things going for you.Fight.fight .fight.

[whodunnit]

Absolutely. Have felt that feeling probably for a major part of my life, on and off.

I'm 58 and have deliberately cut myself off from most people, including family over a long period. Reason being they drive me crazy, upset me, hurt me and condescend all the time. Cutting them off made me feel much better but now I'm thinking a bit about the future.

I have a long term partner and 4 children. They are in my life and I'm fine with them but I do think more about what would happen if my partner passed away before I. It does scare me but I have learnt, the hard way, that I cannot and will not suicide. I want to live and I'll wait for whatever comes my way.

What I know above all is that when things change they always seem to work out, which is the opposite of what I predict and imagine. I always look at the future and see misery etc, as you do. But it doesn't turn out like that, never.

How to deal with the possibilities is actually quite simple. Stop thinking about the future. I have done that and when I catch my mind drifting into those long term predictions I just stop it and focus back on today. I cannot predict the future else I'd be able to avoid anything bad anyway wouldn't I? You follow? It's Catch 22. If you see bad ahead then you can take action to avoid it. Today, now. So what can you do today to ensure that bleak future does not arrive?

Those thoughts are simply fears, not facts.

[Hensley258]

I'm only 38 and I can 100% relate to what you feel because I feel the same way pretty much everyday.

I'm not sure what keeps me alive. I have a wonderful life, but it's all lost because of my severe depression and anxiety.

I think what keeps me alive is the hope that science will solve the depression mystery and then I can get better. So I guess even in my sick state of mind I must have some sliver of hope.

Maybe it's that hope that we need to hold onto in order to stay alive.

[Jade59]

Yes, I do feel that way.  My parents are in their late 70's which frightens me.  I'm afraid once they're gone and if my husband were to die first, I would most likely end my life.  I too, have had depression and anxiety all my life and haven't been able to work for a long time  and don't know how I would get by, alone in the world.  I am 49 and feel old now, so getting even older and more infirmed sounds so scary.  For specific reasons, I don't have children either, so I would be Completely alone.    

I am so tired and so ready...

[GenGirl57]

I feel like that all the time, and I'm only 20. I'm a Catholic, so I believe in an afterlife, and I believe that the physical world isn't the be-all end-all, so I'd be more than happy to get it over with and be somewhere better.