Um, right, so like, Ive been struggeling with depression, which I think is partly family based/genetic and partly due to the fact that Ive been diagnosed with moderate emphesyma, even though Im only 27 years old. Yes, I am a smoker, and yes, I started smoking when I was way way too young, and yes, I continue to smoke way way too much for me, even though I know its terrible - Im an addict and I can't just quit. Ive tried but it just never works.
Ive tried Wellbutrin and Abilify, but that didnt seem to help much. I dont know if the fact that Ive already lost about 30% of my lung function is causing me to have decreased oxygen flow in such a way that could be causing or exacerbating my depression or what - but someone told me the other day they think that could be part of it, then they said I should try harder to quit smoking. But everytime I tried to quit smoking, my mood just went all over the place and I just felt like total crap, its like cigarettes were the only thing helping me get through the day. So no matter how painful my shallow breathes may be, and how nasty the wracking coughs may get after every time I light up another cigarette - I dont forsee myself being able to get off those anytime soon.
So, yeah - can my cigarettes be causing my depression, even though they are one of the only things that actually makes me feel better about myself? If not, could it be the lack of oxygen to my lungs caused by the early emphysema? What else can I start taking? Since I can't/won't stop smoking, then what else can I do?