I'm only writing because I'm in serious trouble.
I hope that a medical professional might have *real* help, not "think happy thoughts" suggestions.
I struggle day to day, 3 years after she asked for a divorce (divorce was final a year ago). I lost my family, my soul mate, my identity, my purpose and my home. We had been in couples counseling for 1.5 years, then she ended it. I have no friends, zero.. zip. No family. No one. I went from a house full of people, activities and family, purpose, love, companionship to an apartment with nothing. I was a father.
I am -profoundly alone. I have no one to talk to, I don't matter to anyone. I have nothing to offer anyone. I am "on the outside looking in".
I am stuck, I can't seem to do anything. I know I need to get out, but I'm terrified and everything seems so wrong, everyone I meet is a stranger (it's me, not them). I want dearly to have my life back, but it's long gone.
The worst part is the *constant* memories of the good times, the constant thoughts about what went wrong, and the *constant* feelings of regret, trying to figure out what I could have done better. I have no control over this, I've tried CBT, positive thougths, everything.
I am very emotional. Never was before. I cry, alot.
I have *extreme* anxiety issues.
I read the book "From abandonment to health", and it is dead-on with that I am experiencing, except I'm *still* in it.
I am not on any anti-depressants or anxiety medications.
I feel like I'm going to die, I have two boys counting on me and I'm holding on at work just barely.
I see a therapist but he doesn't seem to have concrete answers. I've talked with therapists since this started, it just seems to be talk.
My life is passing me by and I have no better idea of what to do now than when this started.
If anyone has a plan on how to get out of this, I'd be very grateful.