Has anyone overcome depression in this situation?

[MattMVS7]

I wish to know if others here were ever in a similar situation as mine right here and completely gotten over their depression in this situation. The situation I'm in that is causing me chronic depression is that I have developed a severe panic disorder in which I am experiencing constant panic attacks one right after the other all day everyday. Knowing that I am in this constant state of panic and that I cannot escape from it has caused me depression. Fortunately, this depression has actually held off (replaced) the fear on the very 1st day I was in this constant state of panic. Unfortunately, this depression is chronic and is always there holding off the fear and unless I have this depression, that will cause the panic to return. I notice that when there are few moments in which this depression goes down, that causes the fear to return. Then, of course, immediately once the fear returns, that causes the chronic depression to take back over and replace the fear.

I notice that a certain level of this depression is necessary to hold off the fear. If it is anything below that, the fear returns. Also, since depression in this case is a response to not wanting to be in a state of fear or panic (and obviously a continuous state of panic for that matter), this is why the depression is always there and always preventing me from being in that situation.

So my question here is since no one in their right mind would ever wish to be in that situation (obviously me here as well), wouldn't that mean the depression will, in fact, always be there for the rest of my life (since, again, depression is a response to never wanting to be in that situation)? I'm hoping that this isn't the case which is why I am here asking if anyone was ever in this exact same situation I'm in and have completely gotten over their depression in that situation.

I realize that if I were to take care of the source of this depression (rid of the panic), that would rid of this depression. But in order for me to do that would require exposure therapy (as I notice that nothing I tell myself or anything else helps). But since exposure therapy requires that you experience panic attacks, this isn't going to happen since the depression is always there preventing me from panicking. And even if the fear somehow eases up on its own over time, unless it goes away completely, the depression will still always be there (as this is what is already always happening). Also, this is not just one thought causing me panic--it is many different thoughts. So even if I were to reduce or get over the fear of one thought, that will leave me with the full-blown fear of all the other thoughts as well (and there are a countless number of them).

Finally, in terms of this depression somehow getting better or even completely going away, how would that ever work given this situation? You already know that depression is something that reduces pleasure activity in the brain which is obviously what leads you into feeling depressed. But I have obviously learned from my experience that it also shuts down the fear response as well. Therefore, is it possible for my depression to remain there in such a way that it no longer reduces any pleasure and I am able to fully enjoy life again, but will keep the fear response shut down?

Unless my depression somehow gets better, I will forever be left with no feelings of pleasure (as this is the situation I'm in now). And I do not see how it would get better because, as I just stated, any level of depression that is below what I'm experiencing now causes the panic to return. And since depression is a response to not wanting to panic, that would mean the depression would have to remain at this level.

I need to know something very important here. Each and every day I actually notice that my depression has made a significant improvement each and every one of those days. But I am up to the point where I no longer feel what one would call depression (hopelessness). Now I am at the point where I instead constantly (24/7) feel no pleasure at all and I notice that this is something that is not improving at all as days go by. This lack of pleasure is too much and I feel that because it is not improving like how my depression did, I feel that there is a possibility that it will remain this way for the rest of my life. If I knew that this would be something that would last for the rest of my life, I would end my life.

As I stated before, a certain level of depression is necessary to prevent me from experiencing this fear and it would definitely seem that this level of depression that I'm at now is that level. If it were to go anywhere below that level, that will cause the fear to return which is obviously the reason why it is stuck at this level and not getting better. Therefore, how is it ever supposed to get better in this situation? This is the reason why I ask if people in my exact situation have had their level of depression that was necessary to hold off their fears somehow get better. Again, it does not matter how much I address the source of my depression (the fear). As long as I have the fear (even if it is at a very low level), that will cause the depression to still remain there holding off the fear.

[Abkitty]

I understand your struggles. I am so sick of being medicated just to live my life normally. Fortunately there are a lot of supplements out there that can have positive affects on depression/ anxiety. The unfortunate part is that they aren't covered by insurance and can get
Costly but if you can afford too your health will thank you. First I was 16 when I began this horrible process so I had little guidance or choice in the matter. I began therapy at 16 and have been attending on and off for the last 11 years. If you find the right therapist you can accomplish so much. If medications are being  suggested do ALL research on withdrawal symptoms if you ever want to  stop taking a medication as this is my struggle now, the withdrawal symptoms for so e of these medications are unbearable and can be dangerous. If herbal supplements are the option you choose try vitiamin d, green tea extract, EXCERCISE (very important to release edorphins), melatonin for sleep, Neuro Endure for Stress Reduction, Body Calm Daytime Relief for the Feeling of Daytime Anxiety and Stress (found on Amazon). It's seems like a lot but thy are all natural instead of helical a that mess with your brains functionality. Hope this helps!

[Bubulous]

A mood stabilizer would likely help and yes, I have been in that situation.

[newbloom]

Have you tried an SSRI or any medication? They are made to reduce Both anxiety and depression. Once they are controlled, perhaps you can participate in the exposure therapy with less discomfort and more success. Then your brain can see the success you're having, and it becomes accustomed to experiencing previously anxiety-producing stimuli, without the panic reaction. Then the stimuli is no longer powerful, and if you like, with a toolbox full of coping skills from a competent therapist, you can titrate down the medication.
My deepest apologies if this is obvious. It's my first time on the site. I hope I haven't insulted anyone.