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457745 tn?1212925510

Heading for depression?

This is going to sound crazy.  I found out 2 weeks ago that my boyfriend of 8 months has been cheating on me with men that he as been meeting in hotels during the workday.  He has been meeting them on Craigslist.  I never had a clue that he was doing this or that he was interested in men.  I obviously ended the relationship immediately and I am finding that the bouts of sadness that I am having are becoming uncontrollable.  I can't stop crying.  Am I ever going to feel good again or am I headed for depression if I don't get help?
8 Responses
Avatar universal
Anxiety and depression can go hand in hand. They certainly did for me. My doc told me that antidepressant medication works to cure anxiety too, but there is never any guarantee for a particular individual that a med will do the job.
You are wise to seek help immediately. You may be in depression, or heading for one, or just need help pulling through this tough time. It is important to nip this in the bud, if possible, because it tends to keep pulling you down further, which makes it harder to surface (so to speak) to normality. This paragraph is what I have read, not just an anecdote, so please seek help asap.
2 weeks of depression sounds like a short time to me, and if so, it hasn't progressed very far. Not yet, but it can for some people.

You doc, and a counsellor are obvious starting points as they are professionals. Write down what you are feeling beforehand, as it helps you and them develop perspective. Also, although a pharmacist can't prescribe meds, they can provide good limited advice (and sometimes not so limited advice if they are the gabby type and not busy) immediately while you are waiting for those unconvenient doc's appointments to come open. Please write back.
627145 tn?1230305626
I'm very sorry you have suffered this shock and are having this sorrow.  He should have been honest with you.  Get checked out so you won't have to worry about AIDS unnecessarily.  You should see a psychiatrist or psychologist to go through this because I can see where you could get all mixed up and not be ready for another relationship until you get help.  
Avatar universal
Unconvenient means inconvenient when it is late and I post. LOL

Also when I wrote, "2 weeks of depression sounds like a short time to me, and if so, it hasn't progressed very far. Not yet, but it can for some people."
I also meant that only professionals, in conjunction with you, can determine together what state you have progressed to. If you read some stories on these boards, you will see that life can be very hard for the depressed, so please seek help and let's hope this problem gets nipped in the bud.
457745 tn?1212925510
Thank you both.  I will call my doctor tomorrow and get an appointment.  I'm having trouble sleeping and I can't stop crying.  It has become burdensome just to do everyday normal stuff and I can't concentrate at work.  It just seems to be getting worse, not better.  I'm wondering though should I see my general practitioner or my gynecologist, or both?
Avatar universal
My gp got me through a depression that required meds he prescribed. Others on this board with more experience in other depression areas will say to avoid a GP and get a specialist, but for my case the gp was able to find the right drug, on the second try. A specialist couldn't do better, since I believe both drugs are for beginners and have similar mental recovery effects, so I just got unlucky and was started on the one that didn't work well with my brain chemistry (or whatever is in there).
I am optimistic that your solution is not meds, since it is so early, so please move on this asap.

You need to find some pro, like your doc and or counsellor, who can devote time to your issue first so it can be determined if you can work this out without meds. Write back, but until you have a face to face with some kind of pro, you are in the dangerous world of the undiagnosed, so much of what we say will be guesswork.

My pharmacist helped a lot because she was always available and I had a lot of panic driven questions that I kept coming up with over time. In the short run, you might even be able to get some useful info from a pharmacist about non-medical solutions that you can investigate before your doc's appointment, but in the long run avoid doing purely self-diagnosing.
Avatar universal
You could start by just seeing your regular doctor. Obviously a Psychiatrist is going to have more experience when it comes to prescribing psycotropic medications, but in some cases a regular MD will know enough to treat your problem.

Given that your depression has a direct cause (as in this boyfriend trama) I think it would also be wise to find a good therapist to talk to.

If later you feel like your regular doctor is going beyond what he is capable of, then you may want to seek a Psychiatrist.

I hope you don't take this guy back. No matter if he was cheating with another woman or man, he is exposing you to the potential of STD's.

This same thing happend to a friend of mine. Being a man myself, I can't understand why any man would live a lie like that. If he wants to be with men, fine but why live a double life.
Avatar universal
You can always start with your GP. The GP might refer you to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or gynecologist, but your GP is a good starting point.

Also, I highly recommend talking with a therapist.  Whether you take any medication or not I think having someone to talk to throughout this crisis would be very beneficial.

If you do take some anti-depressants, hopefully you will not have to take them long term. It sounds as if your depression is situation based, so there is a good chance you would not need meds long term.  You might also look into natural remedies for depression if you are hesitant to take meds. Personally, I have had to rely on pharmaceuticals, but I know there are some vitamins and herbs out there that might help some.

Well, I wish you luck and I hope you find the proper help you need. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

Take Care
Avatar universal
Agree with all that, but I would be leary of you self prescribing herbals since there is no purity requirement for OTC, so you never know how much you are getting. Besides, poison ivy and mushrooms are natural, so I would see a pro first to make sure you even need to be ingesting anything.
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