Help Me Help Me, I"m Really Scared

[Omusicgame]

Listen, I feel like i really need help.  I couldnt sleep all night, and i have just been crying alot.  Ive been going through these episodes for years.  Just really scared, and i thought i would be strong enough now, but im not.  I kept my wife up because of my problems, and i just drink to relieve the pain.  I do this all the time.  I need a drink to calm me down.  If not that, I masterbate to internet porn.  I dont know if its bad for me, but somehow something affected me all night.  I mean, Im just so scared sometimes.  I have the same job now, delivering pizzas at Pizza Hut that I had 8 years ago.  Back then i ended my job, by going to a hotel room and taking pills n drinking alot of alcohol.  So why am i stuck with the same job.  Ive also fallen 7 stories and lived.  You think id get the picture by now, but i dont.  I dont get it.  I hate it, i just so so so hate it.  Help!!

[Peanutbct]

You need to go to a doctor ASAP!  You have tired to hurt yourself on more then one occassion.  You have a drinking problem and you sound like you might be addicted to porn.  There is help out there though!!  You don't have to suffer.  The best help anyone here on this website can give you is to tell you, you are not alone, and you can feel better but you must go see a doctor!!  You need help!!  You are not well.  You need to just take a big breath and make a dr appointment, with a regular doctor and then tell the doctor what you just told this website and he or she will help you from there. They will know what to do for you.  They will give you the proper care that you need in order to feel better and be HAPPY.  But you must make that first step!

[mammo]

You do need help, and there is so much  help for you!  Make an appointment with a psychiatrist and the two of you can and will decide what would be the best route of treatment for you.  It may be medication, therapy or both. It sounds like you have a lot of depression going on.  This has nothing to do with being strong or weak, this is like any other illness that you need to be treated for!  Depression robs us of so much, our happiness, ambition, confidence, it makes us sad, scared and have no interest in others or things we once enjoyed. It's a shame that you've been enduring this for so long while there has been so much help for you.  I know you felt you should be able to handle it on your own, but depression doesn't work that way, it's too big for us to handle alone.  I think God has great plans for you to have survived all that you have, you have a purpose in life and need to get treatment and get your life back!  We have all been where you are so know you're not alone, we understand and do care.  Your drinking is self-medicating which only creates more problems for you, and is never the way to go.  Please make an appointment and get help, you deserve to be happy and can.  I wish you all the best and take care.