Help needed

[Bluefanc]

I feel lonely all the time and now my relatioship is in danger of falling apart.

[AlleyCat11]

aww well you need to talk to the person in your relation ship and you need to tell your self your not alone your surrounded by people care about you. you can talk to me any time you want

[wellb]

BlueF,
You're not alone in terms of encountering "some people" (on the outside) that do not understand depression.

I have found that there is still a "stigma' in society towards mental illness or behavioral illnesses. (Nothing you can do about that).

There are some members in my own family, also, that just don't get it---just like in your family!

Basically, I just don't tell them about my depression and I put on my "actress" face and act like everything is normal in front of them. I also try to avoid them. Reason being is that it's not worth me telling them about my depression if they're just going to get preachy, judgemental,  and condescending towards me. Helps no one.

Instead, I have found a few people that I know that do indeed understand,  and they are the only ones that know of my deep struggles w/ depression. Since they too struggle with it (or a member of their own family) , it's like an unspoken understanding.
We don't talk about depression constantly, but we know that IF we do get a recurrence, that we can talk to each other. And by the way, these confidants are not even my family members!

For you, maybe just having one confidant that understands depression is a good start. You don't need many people, just one (or two friends) that are willing to be there for you when you are spiriling towards a bad depression.
It's not the numbers, it's the quality.

Probably , the reason you are hiding from your family members (the ones that do not understand) is because ,like me, you figure it's not worth the trouble trying to educate them on depression, since they are so narrow minded.

Eventually, as you get better, you can begin to feel more comfortable around your family members (the ones that don't understand). Granted, you'll probably never be able to talk to them openly about your depression, but at least you can still hang out w/ them during the holidays, etc.

Many families have "subjects" that they wish not to hear about ,nor talk about, (not just depression, but homosexuality,.... etc). It's very sad, in my opinion, but it happens all the time.For now ,you probably just need to accept your family's  narrow-minded thinking.

Reach out to those that do understand.

BlueF,
I would set small goals if I were you. JMHO.
People w/ severe depression normally get overwhelmed by too many projects and goals. So as you said...yes, break your goals down into MANAGEABLE increments.

[Bluefanc]

Thanks for the all the feed back. I haven't been feeling so good so. Well I've been in a six year relationship but as of late everything seems to be going wrong. Aside from that I have always been very close to my family and lately I don't want to see or hear from them. When they come over i want to hide. I can't speak my mind and being depressed it for stupid people according to them. I should just get over it. I have a few question if you can get back to me. Do you set long term goals or should i just live in the moment, one day at a time? Thanks again for the help it was nice to know that I have somewhere to go.

[wellb]

Yes, BlueFanc, plz come back and expand on your original post  since we don't understand all the reasons why you feel so lonely , and also  why "your relationship is in danger of falling apart".

Are you OK?

I hope your'e OK.

[arby23]

I know how you feel. I too have been through the lonliness and a breakup. It is a very hard thing to deal with and I have to say I would not have gotten through it had it not been for a friend of mine. First let me say, you are not alone. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are many people just like you out here. I did a bit of counsiling but in my instance, it did no good. I took depression meds and that did help me. A break up can feel like the end of the world but believe me when I say it isn't. Do you read? If you do, there is a book out there called How to Get Over a Broken Heart. It gives you things to think about. When you think about your friend you have to focus on the negative, not the positive. The bad times, not the good times. It worked for me. Yes, I do find myself getting down but that is when I get up and remember the bad times and say aloud, "I am better that this and you can kiss my A**". I grew strong from it and you will too. Believe in yourself. :-) It will get better.

[mammo]

Are you feeling lonely due to the relationship problem, or have you been feeling lonely for awhile now?  The best way to beat loneliness too get out, see your friends and do the things you enjoy.  If your relationship is falling apart due to your feelings of loneliness then this may mean you could have some depression, but only a professional can say this for sure. If this has been an ongoing problem and involves more than loneliness, I woud suggest you see a professional for therapy to find out why you're feeling this way.
Take care...

[ApRiLGeTsAngry77]

I am sorry you are feeling like that. When you mention your relationship is in danger- is this a romantic relationship?

Have you tried re connecting with old friends?

Join a meetup group?

It sounds like you need to build up your personal support group

((((hugs))) I hope you feel better!